First we had the problem where our NAV calculations suffered due to a division by zero error. Presently, there are other issues we must confront before we can, in the utmost haste, return your precious funds.
In the mean time, please allow us to introduce Prof. Dr. Imne Gibogi, of the Nigerian Oil Ministry who wishes the most urgent and confidential business relationship….
Dear Investor,
You have endeavoured to subscribe for shares of Fairfield Sentry Limited (the
“Company”) for the December 1, 2008 dealing day. You have also asked for a return of
the proceeds of subscription. We are endeavouring to determine the legal position of the
Company with respect to such proceeds of subscription. If legally permitted, we will
seek to return such funds to you as soon as possible if those funds are in fact not funds of
the Company. However, it is necessary that we first make this determination according
to law.
Once a determination is made, we will communicate with you further. However, in the
interim, we have segregated these funds into a separate account.
Yours faithfully,
The Board of Directors
I endeavour to endeavour to….
When the people who hold the money also make the “determination”…….well….you’re effed.
Fairfield should just post here directly. Cut out the middleman.
DB should really be looking to do an ad deal with KY, or another company that makes lube.
@4- why is that?
If I had to guess, it’s because a lot of the stories of late have been about people getting fucked.
Hm…this is an interesting problem. What day did Bernie come clean again? It was after Dec 1, wasn’t it?
I take it Bernie hadn’t gotten his hands on the new money yet?
Does this fall under Cayman law?
I mean it’s only fair for these people to get their cash back. They didn’t get to enjoy any of those high-Sharpe ratio returns before the scheme collapsed…
too Slap Chop, didn’t read
Wouldn’t be surprised if it turns out that some fund of funds also invested in Nigerian ‘investment managers’.
i swear to god EP is a channer