First we had the problem where our NAV calculations suffered due to a division by zero error. Presently, there are other issues we must confront before we can, in the utmost haste, return your precious funds.
In the mean time, please allow us to introduce Prof. Dr. Imne Gibogi, of the Nigerian Oil Ministry who wishes the most urgent and confidential business relationship....
Dear Investor, You have endeavoured to subscribe for shares of Fairfield Sentry Limited (the "Company") for the December 1, 2008 dealing day. You have also asked for a return of the proceeds of subscription. We are endeavouring to determine the legal position of the Company with respect to such proceeds of subscription. If legally permitted, we will seek to return such funds to you as soon as possible if those funds are in fact not funds of the Company. However, it is necessary that we first make this determination according to law. Once a determination is made, we will communicate with you further. However, in the interim, we have segregated these funds into a separate account. Yours faithfully, The Board of Directors
Posted by guest , Dec 23, 2008 11:22AM
I endeavour to endeavour to....
Posted by guest , Dec 23, 2008 11:25AM
When the people who hold the money also make the "determination".......well....you're effed.
Posted by guest , Dec 23, 2008 11:26AM
Fairfield should just post here directly. Cut out the middleman.
Posted by guest , Dec 23, 2008 11:30AM
DB should really be looking to do an ad deal with KY, or another company that makes lube.
Posted by guest , Dec 23, 2008 11:31AM
@4- why is that?
Posted by guest , Dec 23, 2008 11:38AM
If I had to guess, it's because a lot of the stories of late have been about people getting fucked.
Posted by guest , Dec 23, 2008 11:42AM
Hm...this is an interesting problem. What day did Bernie come clean again? It was after Dec 1, wasn't it?
I take it Bernie hadn't gotten his hands on the new money yet?
Does this fall under Cayman law?
I mean it's only fair for these people to get their cash back. They didn't get to enjoy any of those high-Sharpe ratio returns before the scheme collapsed...
Posted by guest , Dec 23, 2008 11:43AM
too Slap Chop, didn't read
Posted by guest , Dec 23, 2008 12:35PM
Wouldn't be surprised if it turns out that some fund of funds also invested in Nigerian 'investment managers'.
Posted by guest , Dec 23, 2008 12:38PM
i swear to god EP is a channer