So, you know how everyone is all demanding of apologies from our inept CEOs and whatnot? Obviously they're pretty much SOL. But you know what I kind of feel like would be even better than a sincere apology for supposed wrong doings? A series of dog and pony shows modeled after that of the Juice. It took several murders and a bunch of armed robberies to get us here but above we have a fairly glorious faupology from OJ Simpson, who just got 15 years in prison. The big guy breaks out all the stops, including fake near tears and the truly awesome argument that "I didn't want to hurt any of these guys...they've eaten in my home, I've done book reports with their kids, I've sung to their mothers when they were sick, I just wanted my stuff back...I didn't know I was doing anything illegal, I thought I was just confronting friends and retrieving my property."
Before He Goes to Prison: O.J. Is Very, Very Sorry [Gawker]
Posted by guest , Dec 05, 2008 1:51PM
I am having my post cfa party at the Grand Prospect Hall. They make my dreams come true!
Posted by guest , Dec 05, 2008 1:57PM
CFA? What's a CFA? What industry is this for? Does the CFA teach you to sell stocks in 10/07 and buy when they are bottoming out...? Does the CFA teach you about mark to market accounting and how to value Tier 2,Tier 3 assets? Oh...that CFA.
Posted by guest , Dec 05, 2008 2:06PM
You know, I feel for the guy. If they want to convict you on something justice goes out the window......Either that or he just didn't have the money to get himself a good lawyer.
Posted by guest , Dec 05, 2008 2:08PM
@3- you're joking, right? "Simpson, 61, and his co-defendant and former golfing friend, Clarence "CJ" Stewart, were convicted in October of 12 criminal charges including kidnapping and armed robbery." yeah, let him run free!
Posted by Clown Capital , Dec 05, 2008 2:11PM
@4,
Now you know exactly why "THEY" wanted OJ behind bars. White Bronco trucks and an undersized leather glove memories don't fade that fast.
Posted by guest , Dec 05, 2008 2:19PM
@4
Not defending his actions but up to 20 years for this? Not to mention that the jury was 9 white women, two white guys and maybe a hispanic.
Posted by guest , Dec 05, 2008 2:22PM
@6- how much time do you think someone should get for kidnapping?
Posted by guest , Dec 05, 2008 2:23PM
Whatever you say about this, a filthy murderer got to run free for like 15 years, playing golf and ignoring his children after killing their mother.
I'd say he had a pretty sweet run and it was time for it to come to an end.
Plus, parole after 5 years? He'll get that.
Posted by guest , Dec 05, 2008 2:25PM
"I've sung to their mothers when they were sick." Juice always did love the white women..
Posted by RonBurgundy , Dec 05, 2008 2:26PM
Question du jour: Will O.J. be allowed to keep an ample supply of KY lube in the bighouse? He show gonna need it...
Posted by guest , Dec 05, 2008 2:29PM
10 Either way he'll need the KY, but you think he's gonna be top or a bottom?
Posted by RonBurgundy , Dec 05, 2008 2:31PM
#11 - he's going to be treated like an unwilling French hand cuff...DP - double penetration...
Posted by guest , Dec 05, 2008 2:32PM
Dude, everyone knows that OJ's son Jason is the real killer.
He was psychotic, had a history of violence with knives, smaller hands (to fit the glove), and had been reported to police by Nicole Simpson for stalking a few months prior. It's amazing how no authority has investigated this.
Posted by guest , Dec 05, 2008 2:41PM
@13 Nicole was pretty hot..don't blame him
Posted by guest , Dec 05, 2008 2:43PM
This is Cliff Asness. You internet chat room idiots think the juice is going to be a bottom? Whatever.
Posted by girl , Dec 05, 2008 2:47PM
wow people are still debating whether Oj did it? It's like 7th grade all over again in here, minus my awkward obsession with jonathan taylor thomas...
Posted by guest , Dec 05, 2008 2:48PM
@ Cliff, Why don't you go work on putting some "hedge" into your hedge fund.
-Not Cliff
Posted by Anal_yst , Dec 05, 2008 2:50PM
ooo new pink slip party 12/10 in tribecca, yippee?
Posted by guest , Dec 05, 2008 2:52PM
Is that wideclops sitting behind the juice?
Posted by guest , Dec 05, 2008 2:53PM
seth peck is a wideclops
Posted by guest , Dec 05, 2008 2:57PM
he's lucky to be alive. simple as that.
Posted by guest , Dec 05, 2008 3:14PM
It was Kato in the kitchen with a knife.
Posted by guest , Dec 05, 2008 3:15PM
If the Heisman Throphy can't be used for bail, you must go to jail.
RIP Johnny Cockring
Posted by guest , Dec 05, 2008 3:30PM
Now his "search for the killer" can resume in the jail!
Posted by guest , Dec 05, 2008 3:31PM
Holy crap, wideclops was at the trial!
Posted by guest , Dec 05, 2008 3:35PM
Think you can steal my shit and sell it??
Posted by guest , Dec 05, 2008 3:35PM
Wideclops freaks me the fuck out.
Posted by guest , Dec 05, 2008 3:39PM
"I don't condone what the man did but I understand...I'll shake the sh!t out of a woman!" C. Rock
Posted by guest , Dec 05, 2008 3:50PM
I bet juice wears a merkin
Posted by Tapecracker , Dec 05, 2008 4:09PM
OJ looks like one of my sharts...
Posted by guest , Dec 05, 2008 6:16PM
It was Kato in the kitchen with a knife.
Posted by Finnegan , Dec 05, 2008 11:54PM
I dunno. You narrowly escape prison. People hate you. But you have your freedom and money to spend, and still get hot women to do.
And what? You get yourself busted again? He is a very very stupid man.
Should have spent his life trying to rehabilitate his own image.
Posted by guest , Dec 06, 2008 12:03PM
love the headline, Mozilo and OJ have the same color skin, so you can kinda imagine him there