January 2009

  • News

    Write-Offs: 01.30.09

    $$$ Egret-smuggler pleads not guilty. [FINalternatives] $$$ Spitzer Madams’ Fortunes: One Goes Up, the Other Goes Down [NYP] $$$ Jobs of the Day: Morgan Stanley needs an equity research associate. [DB Career Center]

    / Jan 30, 2009 at 6:17 PM
  • News

    No More Than The President Of The United States

    On further reflection, we aren’t so opposed to “fairing up” executive compensation to be more in line with our national executive. Senator Claire McCaskill might be on to something here. Let’s see here… Cash Compensation: Salary: $400,000 Cash Subtotal: $400,000 Room and Board: 55,000 square foot mansion, in historic Washington, D.C.: @ $100/sqft: $5,500,000/yr Personal […]

    / Jan 30, 2009 at 5:55 PM
  • News

    Bonus Watch ’09: BAC

    Numbers came out today for most groups at Bank of Amerillwide, including capital markets and investment banking, with debt portfolio management coming next week. – First year associates: 10k stub -2nd/3rd year associates, VPs, MDs: down 75-80 percent, across the board, with associates to principals in global structured products receiving zero (and some MDs receiving […]

    / Jan 30, 2009 at 5:28 PM
  • News

    Make Way For The Overseer!

    Germany and Britain called on Friday for a global economic watchdog with strengthened powers to prevent rather than react to financial crises that can spiral into worldwide recession. Cooperation amongst international financial institutions has failed to ward off the worst financial crisis in decades and a new charter should be forged, German Chancellor Angela Merkel […]

    / Jan 30, 2009 at 4:48 PM
  • News

    Bank Of Amerillwide Will Shut Down Your Job-Seeking, Knowledge-Seeking, Socializing Asses

    To: Global Investment Banking, Global Markets Group, Registered Global Commercial Banking & Global Product Solutions Associates, and Registered Technology & Operations Support Partners From: GCIB Compliance & Operational Risk Management and GCIB Legal Subject: Compliance Advisory – Block of Social Networking Sites, Wikis and Blogs

    / Jan 30, 2009 at 4:05 PM
  • News

    Your Asses: Possibly Capped

    Pay and bonuses for executives at companies receiving federal bailouts would be limited in total to the U.S. president’s $400,000 salary, and a court would be created to restrain their “massive self-indulgences,” under legislation introduced by two senators. “We have a bunch of idiots on Wall Street that are kicking sand in the face of […]

    / Jan 30, 2009 at 3:52 PM
  • News

    Charlie Gasparino Is Hearing Things About The Good Bank/Bad Bank Plan

    Lots and lots of things (and stuff). Some of it conflicting, some not. All of it fluid. Sayeth Gasparino: I can’t remember the Treasury Department bailing out Steve Cohen and Art Sandberg. They’re bailing out Citigroup and Bank of America and the bailout plan they have on the table right now, at least one that’s […]

    / Jan 30, 2009 at 2:49 PM
  • News

    Has Lewis’ Time Come?

    We suppose that just by asking the question the Financial Times seems to think so. To wit: There is a popular cry for Ken Lewis to do a far, far better thing than he has ever done. But why should the boss of Bank of America’s head roll? There are two thrusts to the argument. […]

    / Jan 30, 2009 at 2:45 PM
  • News

    Wouldn’t Sallie Have Been Better?

    From Breitbart: The Justice Department says it foiled a plot by a fired Fannie Mae contract worker in Maryland to destroy all the data on the mortgage giant’s 4,000 computer servers nationwide. The U.S. Attorney’s Office says 35-year-old Rajendrasinh Makwana, of Glen Allen, Va., is scheduled for arraignment Friday in U.S. District Court in Baltimore […]

    / Jan 30, 2009 at 1:02 PM
  • News

    Changes Coming to Credit Default Swaps (Just Before They Are Banned)

    Bloomberg is reporting that change, she is in the wind for the infamous “insurance like products.” Dealers plan to overhaul credit- default swaps in March to curb risks in the $28 trillion market, making the derivatives more like bonds and creating a committee that will arbitrate disputes. For the first time, the market will have […]

    / Jan 30, 2009 at 12:42 PM
  • News

    UBS Mushrooms Investment Bankers?

    A tipster hints that UBS, having now effectively gelded Investment Banking compensation but has not done much to the other units, in particular, Wealth Management. The story goes that UBS has been escrowing IB bonuses for some time, since they only pay once a year, and that while many of these are contractually guaranteed, a […]

    / Jan 30, 2009 at 11:59 AM
  • News

    Crab-Hands Going Down

    We don’t have to tell you that times are extremely tough. With so many individuals and institutions taking it up the A, it should come as no surprise that even the once most successful among us are cutting corners, where they think they can get away with it. Employees at Morgan Stanley are sharing computers, […]

    / Jan 30, 2009 at 11:58 AM
  • News

    Patton Could Have Told You

    Don’t say we didn’t warn you. Fortress has given a nice little 96% bath to investors in its IPO and has blocked redemptions. Two years after commissioning the ski lift, Edens, 47, finds himself staring into an abyss of a different sort. He’s the chief executive officer of money manager Fortress Investment Group LLC. Edens […]

    / Jan 30, 2009 at 11:24 AM
  • News

    Redemptions, Get Yer Redemptions!

    January 26, 2009 Dear Atticus European Fund Investor, In recent discussions with many of you, it has become clear that the liquidity needs and risk appetites of some investors in the Atticus European, Ltd. and Atticus European, LP funds (together, the “European Fund”) have changed in response to the current market environment. For many investors, […]

    / Jan 30, 2009 at 11:00 AM
  • News

    On Depthlessness In The Face Of Depth

    Muffie Benson-Perella (muffie AT muffmarkets.com) was an Associate in the Investment Banking Division of a “Bulge Bracket” bank. She holds a B.A. in French and Art from Vassar College and an M.B.A. from Harvard Business School. She concentrated in Contemporary French Poetry at prep school where she was awarded the exclusive premiership of the school’s […]

    / Jan 30, 2009 at 10:44 AM
  • News

    Bonus Watch ’09: Credit Suisse

    From our chippies across the pond: Tuesday was bonus day for CS in London: 1st yr S&T (equities, FI, research) analysts all got £5,250 (base is £45k if you have a masters, £36k if not). Pretty respectable all things considering. Directors and above are looking forward to enjoying their PAF units (toxic assets) as they […]

    / Jan 30, 2009 at 10:15 AM
  • News

    Ankle Monitoring Bracelet On The House

    If anyone’s been searching in vain for an Upper East Side penthouse swathed in scandal, today is your lucky day. Personally, I’d prefer to sleep where, like, a cooler criminal slept (blood stains on the wall are a must) but surely some of you are in the market for an apartment where a white collar […]

    / Jan 30, 2009 at 9:50 AM
  • News

    Layoffs Watch ’09: Goldgan Sachsley

    As previously mentioned, both Goldman Sachs and Morgan Stanley will be conducting an additional round of population restructuring at their respective firms in the near (ca. April) and very near future (ca. February). The Journal pegs the reduction in workforce in the House of Mack at about 5 percent, and also describes the the expected […]

    / Jan 30, 2009 at 8:43 AM
  • News

    Opening Bell: 01.30.09

    Ex-Merrill Executives Got Burned by Madoff (WSJ) Former Merrill chief executives Daniel Tully and David Komansky, along with former Merrill investment-banking chief Barry Friedberg, personally invested in hedge funds with Madoff exposure run by former Merrill brokerage chief John “Launny” Steffens, according to people familiar with the matter. The Merrill executives are the highest-level Wall […]

    / Jan 30, 2009 at 8:10 AM
  • News

    Write-Offs: 01.29.09

    $$$ Sun, sea and sewage in the playground of the rich in Dubai [Times Online] $$$ Fortress Investment Group On The Edge Of Insolvency [Zero Hedge] $$$ 1-2 Knockout Product Desk Introduces the “Short Human” Series of Structured Funds and Notes [1-2]

    / Jan 29, 2009 at 5:10 PM
  • News

    Bank Of America’s War On Styrofoam, Part II

    The mandatory reusable mugs arrive. Earlier: Bank of AmerillWide Employees Stock Up On Contraband Layoffs Watch ’09: BAC Cutlery

    / Jan 29, 2009 at 4:51 PM
  • News

    Presented Without Comment: J to the D-I-M-O-N

    MARIA BARTIROMO: JAMIE, THANKS FOR JOINING US. JAMIE DIMON: MY PLEASURE. BARTIROMO: CAN YOU CHARACTERIZE WHERE WE ARE RIGHT NOW IN THIS ECONOMIC SLOWDOWN, IN THIS TIGHT CREDIT ENVIRONMENT? DIMON: YOU KNOW, MARIA, I THINK IT’S ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE TO DO BECAUSE I’VE NEVER REALLY SEEN PEOPLE FORECAST THE FUTURE. THE REAL INFLEXION POINT IS THE […]

    / Jan 29, 2009 at 4:29 PM
  • News

    The Santander Slash

    The nice thing about having a bunch of branch offices, subsidiaries or related entities with a large corps of middle managers is that you have a huge cushion against the massive losses you will incur when you do such limited due diligence that you get snagged in a big Ponzi scheme. So no one here […]

    / Jan 29, 2009 at 3:28 PM
  • News

    Layoffs Watch ’09: Morgan Stanley

    Another round of cuts is said to be scheduled for February 10.

    / Jan 29, 2009 at 3:08 PM
  • News

    Why Open?

    According to our vibrant tip-line: [JP Morgan] open-sourced the CDS analytics engine because no one remembers which precise version of the “binaries” (compield source) code was originally handed over to Bloomberg to fuel the CDSW page. Seriously. Earlier: Open Source CDS Analytics?

    / Jan 29, 2009 at 2:10 PM
  • News

    Say It To His Face

    Via proxy! While we can’t get you up in Bernie Madoff’s grill (yet), we are offering Dealbreaker readers the opportunity to ask one of the Ponz. Master’s minions, “WTF were you thinking?” or something along those lines. Here’s the deal: a friend of DB, who is an investor in one of the Madoff feeder funds, […]

    / Jan 29, 2009 at 2:00 PM
  • News

    Bonus Watch ’09: You Get NOTHING (Not Even Toxic Waste)

    CNBC reports that managing directors in UBS’s investment management division will receive neither cash nor stock in ’09. As for 2010? Bonuses shall be 100 percent stock, with a three year vesting period attached to 1/3 of the package. AND if UBS has a loss over those three years, clawbacks will ensue. Related: Bonus Watch […]

    / Jan 29, 2009 at 12:34 PM
  • News

    With The Ponzi-Fu Action Grip

    Want to knock off Bernie but the credit crisis has wiped out your “hitman fund”? No problem. Just get yourself a Bernie doll. You bet, says Connecticut toymaker Emil Vicale, who manufactures patriotic “hero” and politically incorrect “villain” action figures out of his home workshop. Retailing for $149.99, his latest product is a “limited edition” […]

    / Jan 29, 2009 at 12:26 PM

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