• 30 Jan 2009 at 9:50 AM

Ankle Monitoring Bracelet On The House

By Bess Levin

Picture 655.pngIf anyone’s been searching in vain for an Upper East Side penthouse swathed in scandal, today is your lucky day. Personally, I’d prefer to sleep where, like, a cooler criminal slept (blood stains on the wall are a must) but surely some of you are in the market for an apartment where a white collar scam was hatched. Such as: 133 East 64th Street. According to the Post, top real estate brokers have been asked by Irving Picard, the trustee appointed to oversee the liquidation of Madoff Securities, to stop by Bernie Madoff’s place and assess its value, with sale proceeds, thought to be up to $10 million, going toward creditors. Is it awk that Bernie-boy, who we all know is trapped inside just like a prisoner, will be there while his pad (which includes four bedrooms, five bathrooms, and a library filled with cooked books) is sized up? Sure, but awkward in a good way, especially if Mads starts getting defensive about stuff like crown molding or, like a kid who doesn’t want his parents’ home to get sold, decides to scare people off, by throwing caution to the wind, and JO&C’ing in the family room.

Comments (15)

  1. 1
    Posted by guest | January 30, 2009 at 9:53 AM

    Blood on the walls? I have one for you! The former Kissel place in Greenwich!
    http://www.raveis.com/propdetail.asp?STATE=CT&PG=1&TOTAL=35&FROM=propfind&sortdir=ASC&KEY=2107257&FSTKEY=2500744&LASTKEY=2616728&LASTPG=7
    They knocked down the actual, fairly small brick house and put this one up, but it’s been for sale for over a year now – now’s your chance!!

  2. 2
    Posted by lehaigbsc | January 30, 2009 at 9:56 AM

    Man these creditors are going to be PISSED when the appraiser uses the recent sale of Dick Fuld’s Jupiter Island house as a comp.

  3. 3
    Posted by guest | January 30, 2009 at 9:58 AM

    We’re doin’ it, man. This is it. We’re right in the thick of the action.
    You know how someone might describe a situation that’s unpleasant or confining as being, “like a prison”? This is what they were referring to.

  4. 4
    Posted by guest | January 30, 2009 at 10:08 AM

    @4 Hilarious.

  5. 5
    Posted by guest | January 30, 2009 at 10:11 AM

    damn, bess.
    what rule did i break with my comment?

  6. 6
    Posted by guest | January 30, 2009 at 10:18 AM

    bernie can pretend the place is haunted in order to ward off potential buyers, just like the Brady kids did on TV!

  7. 7
    Posted by guest | January 30, 2009 at 10:21 AM

    JUST SELL THE FUCKER! QUICK!

  8. 8
    Posted by guest | January 30, 2009 at 10:58 AM

    Bess, you are sick

  9. 9
    Posted by guest | January 30, 2009 at 11:15 AM

    Time to sell it to the Nephews for $50!

  10. 10
    Posted by guest | January 30, 2009 at 11:20 AM

    Oy Vey! Enough with the liveblogging the Madoff story!!! Who CARES?!!!

  11. 11
    Posted by guest | January 30, 2009 at 11:25 AM

    @10:
    1. everyone
    2. READ THE OTHER POSTS. You’re capable of that, right? Or, just keep clicking and commenting on the Madoff ones.

  12. 12
    Posted by guest | January 30, 2009 at 11:28 AM

    @10: Hmmm. A story about a $50 billion fraud, that has affected individuals, institutions, and the future of securities regulation? You’re right. Why do we bother to continue speaking of it?

  13. 13
    Posted by guest | January 30, 2009 at 11:30 AM

    Long loan sharks; short ponz.

  14. 14
    Posted by guest | January 30, 2009 at 11:37 AM

    So what’s going to be left to mail out for “Passover presents”???

  15. 15
    Posted by guest | January 30, 2009 at 2:53 PM

    Awkward about him being there when its sized up? That’s like feeling awkward about getting undressed in front of your doctor. I know real estate people. All they’re gonna be thinking about is the potential commission.

Leave a comment

You can log in with your account or comment as a guest below.

   or