• 29 Jan 2009 at 11:10 AM

Bernie Madoff Feeling A Lil’ Cooped Up

By

So these quotes sound made up but, per the Post, sources claim that Bernie Madoff has been complaining about the stringent terms of his house arrest at 133 East 64th Street. Supposedly the Ponz. Master has been telling anyone who’ll listen “I can’t go anywhere! I’m stuck here all day!” My fave gripe is probably the one about how it’s not fair that he can’t even run to the corner deli for something to nosh on. But it gets worse. The problem solvers in the group will likely suggest that there’s nothing left to do but JO&C with a little YouPorn to pass the time but he can’t even do that. Private contractors are apparently installing wiretaps on the penthouse’s phones and computers, meaning, as a person close to the situation points out, “If he surfs the Web…it’s going to be tracked.”

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    Comments (23)

    1. 1
      Posted by guest | January 29, 2009 at 11:14 AM

      Bess, Pornhub is eminently superior to YouPorn. Get back in the game girl.

    2. 2
      Posted by guest | January 29, 2009 at 11:18 AM

      At this point all Bernie can do is sit Shiva for the life he used to have.

    3. 3
      Posted by guest | January 29, 2009 at 11:19 AM

      Sucks

    4. 4
      Posted by guest | January 29, 2009 at 11:22 AM

      Can’t he do take-out from the deli?
      I will be so personally happy when this guy is in jail. It’s like he feels HE is the victim now. Poor wubbie.

    5. 5
      Posted by guest | January 29, 2009 at 11:22 AM

      He should get World of Warcraft. And if he really needs to JO&C just make a female character. Problem solved.

    6. 6
      Posted by guest | January 29, 2009 at 11:25 AM

      No reason to go on without porn & deli

    7. 7
      Posted by Anal_yst | January 29, 2009 at 11:29 AM

      @6
      Amen brother, amen.

    8. 8
      Posted by Clown Capital | January 29, 2009 at 11:36 AM

      His loss. He should have stocked up on “Bubble-Butts In Brazil” BEFORE he gave himself up.

    9. 9
      Posted by guest | January 29, 2009 at 11:36 AM

      How about breaking in to Ruthie’s medicine treasure chest? He could crack out on Lithium one day, vicodin the next, and maybe have a psychotic episode with a paxil overdose. At least that might get him out of the house and over to Lenox Hill for a few days to ease the boredom!

    10. 10
      Posted by guest | January 29, 2009 at 11:43 AM

      What Bernie really needs is a new puppy.

    11. 11
      Posted by guest | January 29, 2009 at 11:49 AM

      Or an H5N1+ pet parrot

    12. 12
      Posted by guest | January 29, 2009 at 11:54 AM

      Boo Fuckin Hoo Bernie. If you want something to do, how about writing “I’m Sorry” letters to each and every one of the THOUSANDS you robbed? Then seal them with crocodile tears, you waste of a life

    13. 13
      Posted by guest | January 29, 2009 at 11:56 AM

      1, I think MaxPorn would be more to his liking…

    14. 14
      Posted by guest | January 29, 2009 at 11:57 AM

      Gypsy, give me your tears. If you will not give them to me, I will take them from you!

    15. 15
      Posted by guest | January 29, 2009 at 11:57 AM

      @11 – Nice.

    16. 16
      Posted by guest | January 29, 2009 at 12:16 PM

      Def agree with #1. Pornhub is best of breed.

    17. 17
      Posted by guest | January 29, 2009 at 12:32 PM

      Didn’t Highrise, Couldn’t Lychen

    18. 18
      Posted by guest | January 29, 2009 at 12:57 PM

      Did I read the Post story right? They’re “installing” wiretaps, meaning from Dec. 11 on Madoff and his faithful and reliable spouse could call or email anywhere he wanted untracked–TILL NOW?

    19. 19
      Posted by guest | January 29, 2009 at 1:09 PM

      Madoff alias Made Off should use the time to entertain himself with the ladies section of the MACYS catalog. Getting ready for the 10 to 20 in his new Cell Suite at Rich FedsPen.

    20. 20
      Posted by StillNoCouch | January 29, 2009 at 1:55 PM

      He should at least be allowed to make a quick trip to the Bronx … oh wait, too late. Nevermind.
      Looks like he’s not going to enjoy “Federal Pound me up the ass” prison then.

    21. 21
      Posted by guest | January 29, 2009 at 2:44 PM

      48 hours at Rikers should quash this sense of entitlement

    22. 22
      Posted by guest | January 29, 2009 at 3:05 PM

      PornHub by far the best!

    23. 23
      Posted by guest | January 29, 2009 at 3:36 PM

      @1, partial to jizzhut

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