And pay tribute to the most important day in history. January 28-- the day, 46 years ago, Charlie Gasparino entered the world, guns blazing, singing "Funiculì, Funiculà" with gabagool, sopressata, and other Italian delicacies falling out his mouth. At this time I'm too overcome with emotion and gratitude for the cosmic generosity of the universe for sending us this angel (first Jesus and now Charlie "The Second Coming" Gasparino? Our cup overrunneth) to decide what to send. I've got some ideas, of course, but I need your help. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. What do you get for the man who gives everything?
DROP EVERYTHING
Posted by Bess Levin, Jan 28, 2009, 11:18am
Comments
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Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 11:23AM
the scarecrow costume from the wizard of oz
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 11:24AM
SACRIFICES... only the worthy can be killed
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 11:24AM
a dinner date with Perez Hilton, so they can dish
Posted by Seaman Bodine , Jan 28, 2009 11:25AM
badger milk
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 11:25AM
http://www.topmarks.co.uk/ChineseNewYear/Default.aspx
You are a Rabbit
Affectionate, gentle with strong family ties. Caring and hates conflict. Peace-makers with lots of friends. Dislike being the centre of attention and enjoy the good things of life.
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 11:25AM
an offer he can't refuse
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 11:26AM
The contents of my cats litter box. Smells stronger than any of those so called delicacies.
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 11:26AM
Is THIS situation fluid?
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 11:26AM
Wanna see where your hard-earned tax dollars are being doled out by the Sociacrats to help "recover" our former Capitalist economy? Its only 647 pages long..just enough to stuff whatever pork they want in it...
http://www.rules.house.gov/111/LegText/111_hr1_text.pdf
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 11:26AM
Send him revenge crabs.
Posted by lehaigbsc , Jan 28, 2009 11:27AM
Lets let him treat us all to drinks at Elaines!!!!!
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 11:28AM
That cosmic generosity giveth (Chaz) and taketh away. On his 23d birthday, Challenger blew up.
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 11:29AM
a CNBC "Happy Hour" host slot at 5pm, broadcast live from San Pietro's
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 11:30AM
@8
Key quote on page 12
SEC. 1109. PROHIBITED USES.
None of the funds appropriated or otherwise made available in this Act may be used for any casino or other
gambling establishment, aquarium, zoo, golf course, or swimming pool.
I feel a lot better
Posted by modskool , Jan 28, 2009 11:30AM
a glimpse of Maria's "black box"
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 11:33AM
I got a couple Clone-A-Willys laying around my office. We could give him one. Just need a bedazzler, 'cause his balls are like two shining beacons of financial justice.
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 11:35AM
2 Tix to Jersey Boys....Other tix for Bess.
-Back Seat Trader
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 11:35AM
cannolis?
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 11:35AM
italian sausage. lots of it.
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 11:36AM
A new green/white/red neoprene unitard for the 'flex.
...or a $100 dinner at Florios (no, seriously the best. I'd donate).
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 11:36AM
Italian horn for the rearview mirror and a bumper sticker that says "I break for bragiole"
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 11:37AM
@7 - that was stupid..
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 11:37AM
A gold chain with "CG" at the bottom, Jager bombs and protien powder.
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 11:37AM
aye yo aye a big fat fuckin happy fuckin birfday Bags...go choke on a cannoli would ya
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 11:38AM
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Paulson
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 11:38AM
Three things:
- 4 Strippers
- Wrestling ring
- Marscapone
Buon compleanno Carlo!!
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 11:38AM
#25
great
Posted by StillNoCouch , Jan 28, 2009 11:39AM
$150 of C stock ... he could vote himself onto the board with that much.
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 11:40AM
#25
great
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 11:41AM
A secret cell phone so he can call Bess at any hour to discuss super secret stuff...you know like makeup tips
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 11:42AM
January 28th? Seriously?
Fuck. I hereby resign my lifetime membership as an Aquarius so I don't have to be lumped in with Gasbag.
(This does explain a lot. No wonder the Water Carrier is always prattling on about how this or that situation is "fluid.")
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 11:43AM
@14 yea, I feel much better those are the only limits of this bill.
Trying to read through this thing is like Ken Lewis reading over MER's books..much to be overlooked!
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 11:43AM
Give him a shave.
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 11:43AM
A midget in a sombrero that has chips and salsa on it. Everyone should have one.
Posted by Anal_yst , Jan 28, 2009 11:45AM
A hug, big guy just seems like its been a while since he's got one
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 11:46AM
getting
The Sellout: How Wall Street Greed and Stupidity Destroyed America's Dominance of the Global Financial System
as an Oprah Book Club selection for June 2009?
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 11:46AM
@35 - Where?
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 11:48AM
I cannot wait for the new A-Team movie
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 11:48AM
fluids
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 11:53AM
anyone covering the fact that more potential CFAs have been minted today? cud be good / bad news seeing the state of things.
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 11:54AM
The only thing he needs to survive in this business right now is a big gold CORNO around his neck - to wear the Italian Horn on a gold chain...and show it.
It truly is the Malocchia clove divination and cure!
Sega tre voi. Tre stregari voi.
Dalla vostra madre siete stati sopportati
in nome del padre, del figlio e dello spirito santo,
tutta la malvagità via!
Happy Birthday Chazza Bagga
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 11:55AM
glamour shots of Dennis Kneale
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 11:55AM
its your birthday Charlie, what ya got? yeah, what ya got?
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 11:57AM
arranging a day on "CNBC" when during a 24 hour period, nobody is allowed to say "Let me finish" to him or interrupt him when he talks or interjects; a day where they are forced to sit quietly and look pensively at him, smile and utter some insipid compliment to him(like, "Charlie, that's the best reporting ever!") after he's stopped talking.
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 11:58AM
A handkerchief.
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 11:59AM
@34 - By chance did you watch "Johnny Be Good" recently? I know they had one at Ol' Tex
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 12:04PM
- My balls on his chin
- Gasface - 3rd base style
- a tranny, a midget and a boxer, three hours in a motel 6
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 12:06PM
Hunting trip with Dick Cheney.
Posted by Beerio , Jan 28, 2009 12:07PM
Wait, it's my wedding anniversary today, can I get a present too?
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 12:07PM
@43, Are you talkin to me?
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 12:10PM
#25: nice.
but isn't this more on-topic?
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Gasparini
Posted by lehaigbsc , Jan 28, 2009 12:11PM
too fluid, didnt read
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 12:12PM
gabagool
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 12:15PM
Dear Charles: we love you so. Don't ever change.
Happy Birthday you Big Lug
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 12:19PM
#25: nice.
but isn't this more on-topic?
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Gasparini
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 12:33PM
a massive flying dildo
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 12:35PM
A lifetime supply of Myoplex.
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 12:40PM
An autographed photo of E. Stanley O'Neal to remind Charlie of who REALLY killed Merrill Lynch!
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 12:40PM
Anytime almost any Jew references Jesus, the sarcasm meter goes off. Enjoy having backed the wrong horse for the rest of eternity.
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 12:43PM
An electric dog collar that shocks the wearer whenever the following is spoken:
-Ya know
-Let me finish!
-I gott tell ya
-Elaine's
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 12:43PM
An autographed photo of E. Stanley O'Neal - to remind Charlie of who REALLY killed Merrill Lynch!
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 12:50PM
A cute (male) intern to massage his stinky feet.
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 12:54PM
Gotta Get Gasbagool a Gotti statue!
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 12:54PM
New drinking game:
E-mail the Gasper an incorrect, but plausible, tip.
If your tip makes it on air and into the Garparverse, you drink.
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 1:01PM
Sumbitch! He really IS CNBC!
More's the pity.
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 1:06PM
Sumbitch! He really IS CNBC!
More's the pity.
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 1:18PM
a dennis kneale cum-popsicle.
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 1:21PM
How about a leg Charlie? How about a wing?
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 1:23PM
Stugots is the only thing you get today Gasbagool, you crazy fool
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 1:26PM
How about an intern blowing smoke UP Charlie's ass for once! Smoke always seems to be blowing out of it on ordinary days
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 1:30PM
TO: C. Gasparino
From: The Network
RE: Happy Birthday etc.
Enjoy it while you can, fluids and all. Nothing lasts forever, not even your greatness or your job
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 1:58PM
The only thing that is fluid is Gas-bag's premature....
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 2:02PM
Teatro alla Scala: due carte (and champagne and cassata at intermission)
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 2:05PM
shirt sleeves!
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 2:06PM
today's rally must be the gasparino effect
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 2:06PM
Yes, Charlie is CNBC. (crass, negative, boorish, closeted)
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 2:07PM
An extended leave of absence, please.
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 2:15PM
What do you give him?
Well what have you got?
What have I got?
What have I got??
What have I got???
WHAT HAVE I GOT!!???
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 2:17PM
A Danza Slap.
WHO'S THE BOSS, CHAZ?
you're the boss, Baby.
WRONG
TONY DANZA'S THE BOSS, BITCH!
THWAP!
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 2:44PM
Herpes for The Chazzer - The Gift that keeps on giving!
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 2:49PM
A mad hatter hat from Disney world to keep in his office and remind him to "keep it real".
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 3:17PM
kneale's resignation . . .that might even make him stop talking
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 3:33PM
Laryngitis. God, just for one day, give us a break from this Blowhard.
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 3:43PM
a plethora of pinatas
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 3:46PM
Gasbag is such a mental midget. He says that mostly due to mismanagement merrill's AUM declined from 1.8 in Q407 to 1.4 trillion, though admits the mkt went down ---due the math chump that's a 28% decline --> the market is down 41% over that time....fire this ape!
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 3:55PM
hi 85 this is Charlie Gasparino,
have you considered the fact that you're a mental midget?
or do you want to show us that all of ML's assets under management are invested in the S&P 500?
ever hear of a bond? or treasuries? or a money market?
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 3:55PM
say what you will, but i'll take an asshole like gasbags over an assclown like mark haynes anyday...
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 4:07PM
87 asshole gasbags? assclown mark haynes?? No wonder I watch CNBC so much I get more ass there than from the ol' lady.
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 4:11PM
A date with Elaine
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 4:11PM
A date with Elaine
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 4:16PM
Charles @ 86....get back to those fluids and your birthday celebration! Looks like Ratigan & the boys will have a cake later with 46 candles all set to go. You can get all the ass & midgets you want later, just play ball for now and have a little happy face time with your co-workers, OK?
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 4:22PM
He's only 46??? He looks like hell, or an 80 yr old Sicilian grandmother.
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 5:03PM
Chuck, Happy b-day man - I'll take you anyday over Baldman Steve LIES man - what a feisty, academia talking bag of dung.
CNBC should get rid of LIESman. Then again he may just represent everything cnbc is.
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 6:01PM
@84 - Post of the day!
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 6:34PM
happy bday CG!
@94 cnbc has its moments you got cg, rs , the fabes, joey k.
and every time I see erin burnett I quantitatively ease in my pants
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 6:34PM
happy bday CG!
@94 cnbc has its moments you got cg, rs , the fabes, joey k.
and every time I see erin burnett I quantitatively ease in my pants
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 7:54PM
@86 mr. Center of Gravity
that would assume merrill brokers advised their clients to hold less than 50% equities + given 3/4 of all pm's underperform the mkt this is a big stretch+ lump in int'l equities down 60-70% and at the 20% of port (as everyone on cnbc was advising last year)
love, John Thain and all other coward CEOs
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 8:58PM
Gasparino,Gambino and Cosmorino Investment Bank.
*They can sponsor the NY Post Blind Item section.It would always start with "According to my inside source"...
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 10:10PM
A Cleveland Steamer. I think he's earned it.
Happy Birthday Charlie. Maybe Maria will eat her way out of a cake for your birthday.
- Fixed Income
Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 11:59PM
bess, clearly you're clever, but good god, you add no value to anything aside from admittedly well worded stitch- it's ok to admit when you're out of your depth, as you are.
Posted by guest , Jan 29, 2009 4:32AM
get him a real job where he would actually have to build something rather than just try to destroy other people's efforts. no doubt he would miserably fail like the stinking rat he is !!!