And pay tribute to the most important day in history. January 28– the day, 46 years ago, Charlie Gasparino entered the world, guns blazing, singing “Funiculì, Funiculà” with gabagool, sopressata, and other Italian delicacies falling out his mouth. At this time I’m too overcome with emotion and gratitude for the cosmic generosity of the universe for sending us this angel (first Jesus and now Charlie “The Second Coming” Gasparino? Our cup overrunneth) to decide what to send. I’ve got some ideas, of course, but I need your help. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. What do you get for the man who gives everything?
Comments (100)
Leave a comment
You can log in with your account or comment as a guest below.
- Use the Bloomberg command
NH BLG_DEALBREAKER <GO>
to access Dealbreaker
the scarecrow costume from the wizard of oz
SACRIFICES… only the worthy can be killed
a dinner date with Perez Hilton, so they can dish
badger milk
http://www.topmarks.co.uk/ChineseNewYear/Default.aspx
You are a Rabbit
Affectionate, gentle with strong family ties. Caring and hates conflict. Peace-makers with lots of friends. Dislike being the centre of attention and enjoy the good things of life.
an offer he can’t refuse
The contents of my cats litter box. Smells stronger than any of those so called delicacies.
Is THIS situation fluid?
Send him revenge crabs.
Lets let him treat us all to drinks at Elaines!!!!!
That cosmic generosity giveth (Chaz) and taketh away. On his 23d birthday, Challenger blew up.
a CNBC “Happy Hour” host slot at 5pm, broadcast live from San Pietro’s
@8
Key quote on page 12
SEC. 1109. PROHIBITED USES.
None of the funds appropriated or otherwise made available in this Act may be used for any casino or other
gambling establishment, aquarium, zoo, golf course, or swimming pool.
I feel a lot better
a glimpse of Maria’s “black box”
I got a couple Clone-A-Willys laying around my office. We could give him one. Just need a bedazzler, ’cause his balls are like two shining beacons of financial justice.
2 Tix to Jersey Boys….Other tix for Bess.
-Back Seat Trader
cannolis?
italian sausage. lots of it.
A new green/white/red neoprene unitard for the ‘flex.
…or a $100 dinner at Florios (no, seriously the best. I’d donate).
Italian horn for the rearview mirror and a bumper sticker that says “I break for bragiole”
@7 – that was stupid..
A gold chain with “CG” at the bottom, Jager bombs and protien powder.
aye yo aye a big fat fuckin happy fuckin birfday Bags…go choke on a cannoli would ya
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Paulson
Three things:
- 4 Strippers
- Wrestling ring
- Marscapone
Buon compleanno Carlo!!
#25
great
$150 of C stock … he could vote himself onto the board with that much.
#25
great
A secret cell phone so he can call Bess at any hour to discuss super secret stuff…you know like makeup tips
January 28th? Seriously?
Fuck. I hereby resign my lifetime membership as an Aquarius so I don’t have to be lumped in with Gasbag.
(This does explain a lot. No wonder the Water Carrier is always prattling on about how this or that situation is “fluid.”)
@14 yea, I feel much better those are the only limits of this bill.
Trying to read through this thing is like Ken Lewis reading over MER’s books..much to be overlooked!
Give him a shave.
A midget in a sombrero that has chips and salsa on it. Everyone should have one.
A hug, big guy just seems like its been a while since he’s got one
getting
The Sellout: How Wall Street Greed and Stupidity Destroyed America’s Dominance of the Global Financial System
as an Oprah Book Club selection for June 2009?
@35 – Where?
I cannot wait for the new A-Team movie
fluids
anyone covering the fact that more potential CFAs have been minted today? cud be good / bad news seeing the state of things.
The only thing he needs to survive in this business right now is a big gold CORNO around his neck – to wear the Italian Horn on a gold chain…and show it.
It truly is the Malocchia clove divination and cure!
Sega tre voi. Tre stregari voi.
Dalla vostra madre siete stati sopportati
in nome del padre, del figlio e dello spirito santo,
tutta la malvagità via!
Happy Birthday Chazza Bagga
glamour shots of Dennis Kneale
its your birthday Charlie, what ya got? yeah, what ya got?
arranging a day on “CNBC” when during a 24 hour period, nobody is allowed to say “Let me finish” to him or interrupt him when he talks or interjects; a day where they are forced to sit quietly and look pensively at him, smile and utter some insipid compliment to him(like, “Charlie, that’s the best reporting ever!”) after he’s stopped talking.
A handkerchief.
@34 – By chance did you watch “Johnny Be Good” recently? I know they had one at Ol’ Tex
- My balls on his chin
- Gasface – 3rd base style
- a tranny, a midget and a boxer, three hours in a motel 6
Hunting trip with Dick Cheney.
Wait, it’s my wedding anniversary today, can I get a present too?
@43, Are you talkin to me?
#25: nice.
but isn’t this more on-topic?
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Gasparini
too fluid, didnt read
gabagool
Dear Charles: we love you so. Don’t ever change.
Happy Birthday you Big Lug
#25: nice.
but isn’t this more on-topic?
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Gasparini
a massive flying dildo
A lifetime supply of Myoplex.
An autographed photo of E. Stanley O’Neal to remind Charlie of who REALLY killed Merrill Lynch!
Anytime almost any Jew references Jesus, the sarcasm meter goes off. Enjoy having backed the wrong horse for the rest of eternity.
An electric dog collar that shocks the wearer whenever the following is spoken:
-Ya know
-Let me finish!
-I gott tell ya
-Elaine’s
An autographed photo of E. Stanley O’Neal – to remind Charlie of who REALLY killed Merrill Lynch!
A cute (male) intern to massage his stinky feet.
Gotta Get Gasbagool a Gotti statue!
New drinking game:
E-mail the Gasper an incorrect, but plausible, tip.
If your tip makes it on air and into the Garparverse, you drink.
Sumbitch! He really IS CNBC!
More’s the pity.
Sumbitch! He really IS CNBC!
More’s the pity.
a dennis kneale cum-popsicle.
How about a leg Charlie? How about a wing?
Stugots is the only thing you get today Gasbagool, you crazy fool
How about an intern blowing smoke UP Charlie’s ass for once! Smoke always seems to be blowing out of it on ordinary days
TO: C. Gasparino
From: The Network
RE: Happy Birthday etc.
Enjoy it while you can, fluids and all. Nothing lasts forever, not even your greatness or your job
The only thing that is fluid is Gas-bag’s premature….
Teatro alla Scala: due carte (and champagne and cassata at intermission)
shirt sleeves!
today’s rally must be the gasparino effect
Yes, Charlie is CNBC. (crass, negative, boorish, closeted)
An extended leave of absence, please.
What do you give him?
Well what have you got?
What have I got?
What have I got??
What have I got???
WHAT HAVE I GOT!!???
A Danza Slap.
WHO’S THE BOSS, CHAZ?
you’re the boss, Baby.
WRONG
TONY DANZA’S THE BOSS, BITCH!
THWAP!
Herpes for The Chazzer – The Gift that keeps on giving!
A mad hatter hat from Disney world to keep in his office and remind him to “keep it real”.
kneale’s resignation . . .that might even make him stop talking
Laryngitis. God, just for one day, give us a break from this Blowhard.
a plethora of pinatas
Gasbag is such a mental midget. He says that mostly due to mismanagement merrill’s AUM declined from 1.8 in Q407 to 1.4 trillion, though admits the mkt went down —due the math chump that’s a 28% decline –> the market is down 41% over that time….fire this ape!
hi 85 this is Charlie Gasparino,
have you considered the fact that you’re a mental midget?
or do you want to show us that all of ML’s assets under management are invested in the S&P 500?
ever hear of a bond? or treasuries? or a money market?
say what you will, but i’ll take an asshole like gasbags over an assclown like mark haynes anyday…
87 asshole gasbags? assclown mark haynes?? No wonder I watch CNBC so much I get more ass there than from the ol’ lady.
A date with Elaine
A date with Elaine
Charles @ 86….get back to those fluids and your birthday celebration! Looks like Ratigan & the boys will have a cake later with 46 candles all set to go. You can get all the ass & midgets you want later, just play ball for now and have a little happy face time with your co-workers, OK?
He’s only 46??? He looks like hell, or an 80 yr old Sicilian grandmother.
Chuck, Happy b-day man – I’ll take you anyday over Baldman Steve LIES man – what a feisty, academia talking bag of dung.
CNBC should get rid of LIESman. Then again he may just represent everything cnbc is.
@84 – Post of the day!
happy bday CG!
@94 cnbc has its moments you got cg, rs , the fabes, joey k.
and every time I see erin burnett I quantitatively ease in my pants
happy bday CG!
@94 cnbc has its moments you got cg, rs , the fabes, joey k.
and every time I see erin burnett I quantitatively ease in my pants
@86 mr. Center of Gravity
that would assume merrill brokers advised their clients to hold less than 50% equities + given 3/4 of all pm’s underperform the mkt this is a big stretch+ lump in int’l equities down 60-70% and at the 20% of port (as everyone on cnbc was advising last year)
love, John Thain and all other coward CEOs
Gasparino,Gambino and Cosmorino Investment Bank.
*They can sponsor the NY Post Blind Item section.It would always start with “According to my inside source”…
A Cleveland Steamer. I think he’s earned it.
Happy Birthday Charlie. Maybe Maria will eat her way out of a cake for your birthday.
- Fixed Income
bess, clearly you’re clever, but good god, you add no value to anything aside from admittedly well worded stitch- it’s ok to admit when you’re out of your depth, as you are.
get him a real job where he would actually have to build something rather than just try to destroy other people’s efforts. no doubt he would miserably fail like the stinking rat he is !!!