Picture 520.pngOur favorite midwestern hedge fund (top 25) has closed its Emerging Markets group. We’re told that, among other things, like the matter of misplacing more than half its clients’ money in the flagship, one of the factors that went into the decision was a matter of redundancy. Apparently higher ups in Chicago deemed it just plain silly to keep the unit going in light of the fact that Kaveh Alamuti, head of the global macro biz, also trades some EMs in his spare time. Still, tears have been shed for the 8 employees who comprised the little group that could, and we pray to god the rumor circulating about Griffin’s plans to get rid of the distressed debt team, because it turns out the lady who waters the plants on Wednesdays has it covered, is bull shit.

Comments (32)

  1. Posted by guest | January 8, 2009 at 11:13 AM

    -50% is killin’ it!

  2. Posted by guest | January 8, 2009 at 11:16 AM

    Proofread please (last sentence)

  3. Posted by guest | January 8, 2009 at 11:17 AM

    griffin@2- there’s nothing wrong with the last sentence, dipshit.

  4. Posted by guest | January 8, 2009 at 11:20 AM

    @3 – yu reed inglish gud.

  5. Posted by guest | January 8, 2009 at 11:20 AM

    what the hell was the last sentence? Someone covered in shit?

  6. Posted by guest | January 8, 2009 at 11:21 AM

    Wow Bess, you butchered this one.

  7. Posted by guest | January 8, 2009 at 11:22 AM

    too ponzi, didn’t read

  8. Posted by guest | January 8, 2009 at 11:24 AM

    WTF people get off her. The University of North East Idaho English Blog is that way –>

  9. Posted by guest | January 8, 2009 at 11:25 AM

    Traders don’t lose money; emerging markets do.

  10. Posted by guest | January 8, 2009 at 11:25 AM

    LMAO that 3 thinks the last sentence is fine. Read it again dipshit.

  11. Posted by guest | January 8, 2009 at 11:25 AM

    kaveh is a very short man, more loan ranger than team player though

  12. Posted by guest | January 8, 2009 at 11:26 AM

    There was a time when broken hearts, and broken dreams, were over. There was a place when all you could do was wish on a four leaf clover.

  13. Posted by guest | January 8, 2009 at 11:28 AM

    @3 you scored a pityful look from Bess and big fuck you from everyone else here.
    nice work, asskisser

  14. Posted by guest | January 8, 2009 at 11:29 AM

    good decision, Kenny G!
    It really only takes one big and sufficiently inept/arrogant group to misplace enough funds to kill your company.

  15. Posted by Bess Levin | January 8, 2009 at 11:29 AM

    mensa members @2/5/6- let me break this down for you. there is a rumor circulating that ken griffin is considering getting rid of his distressed team, because it turns out there is another employee (the plant lady) who has it covered.** we are hoping (praying to god even) that the rumor is bull shit, as in false, as in not true.
    **JUST like what he did with the emerging markets group.

  16. Posted by guest | January 8, 2009 at 11:34 AM

    Ahem
    “8″ should be spelled out as “eight.”
    “God” is capitalized.
    Commas are your enemy.
    - distressed debt trader, wishing he hadn’t dissed Jamie, with nothing to do…

  17. Posted by guest | January 8, 2009 at 11:36 AM

    it’s amusing that the chimps choose to focus on the last sentence that they can’t understand rather than the actual info about citadel.

  18. Posted by guest | January 8, 2009 at 11:37 AM

    jeez bess you just embarrassed yourself (you are missing the out in “turns out”) nice try though in the spelling it out response though… real smooth

  19. Posted by guest | January 8, 2009 at 11:39 AM

    “you just embarrassed yourself”
    you are a too @18

  20. Posted by guest | January 8, 2009 at 11:40 AM

    their distressed debt team was blow out months ago, too bad they didn’t take the flaming piles of poop they called investments with them.

  21. Posted by guest | January 8, 2009 at 11:41 AM

    their distressed debt team was blow out months ago, too bad they didn’t take the flaming piles of poop they called investments with them.

  22. Posted by guest | January 8, 2009 at 11:43 AM

    A bunch of finance geeks debating grammar. Ironic.

  23. Posted by guest | January 8, 2009 at 11:44 AM

    @15, Bess, you made an error in that parenthetical because there is no God.

  24. Posted by Bess Levin | January 8, 2009 at 11:44 AM

    @18- oh god, you have no idea. i’m literally hiding my head in shame over the missing ‘out.’ i don’t think i’ll ever live this down. hey, quick question here– are you telling me you’re so retarded that you didn’t understand the meaning of the sentence w/o the word? it’s cool if you are, I’m just gathering information for potential advertisers, etc.

  25. Posted by guest | January 8, 2009 at 11:48 AM

    listen bess i understood you perfectly and im not one to normally comment on proof reading, but when you are gonna call out douche bags like @2/5/6, which i agree they are for saying your sentence is wrong, you might want to read it a second time to make sure that you dont actually have a typo.
    -18

  26. Posted by guest | January 8, 2009 at 11:57 AM

    @15 and 24
    Will you marry me?

  27. Posted by guest | January 8, 2009 at 11:58 AM

    let’s take a vote– add a comma between “covered” and “is?”
    text now, lines open until 16:00EST:
    92132- for “yes”
    92133- for “no”
    92134- for “i don’t know”
    92135- for “dashes more appropriate”

  28. Posted by guest | January 8, 2009 at 12:00 PM

    greg coffey smells of wee wee

  29. Posted by guest | January 8, 2009 at 12:49 PM

    too EM didn’t read

  30. Posted by guest | January 8, 2009 at 12:57 PM

    If you are under 37, why not join the FBI. It is hiring like mad.
    http://endofesq.com/changing_legaljobs.html

  31. Posted by guest | January 8, 2009 at 1:49 PM

    A semi colon between “could” and “and” would would both satisfy and clarify. For the dull: writer didn’t use “could” as auxiliary verb; instead “little group that could” refers to the fabulous “little engine that could”.

  32. Posted by guest | January 8, 2009 at 1:58 PM

    “writer didn’t use “could” as auxiliary verb; instead “little group that could” refers to the fabulous “little engine that could”.”
    ding ding ding! @31 has it right.

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