Nov 11, 2009, 10:34am
Nov 10, 2009, 8:45am
Anyone need a job? Citi is hiring! The Post reports that the profit machine needs a couple of bankers to help it amputate gangrenous limbs and "operate some of the businesses as it identifies buyers over months or years." John Thain is said to be interested in the gig, and though it's not yet a done deal, sources tell Dealbreaker he's been telling friends he's already found a guy with money to burn.
Sep 15, 2009, 2:22pm
I sense some judgment from the Bloomberg reporter here re:...
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Sep 15, 2009, 2:00pm
Tudor BVI Global: August 2009: 0.5% YTD: 12.5% ...as for...
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Sep 09, 2009, 11:27am
Goldman Sachs partner managing director Richard Kimball Jr. apparently got...
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Sep 09, 2009, 10:15am
Ladies, if you've been looking to work under one of...
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Posted by guest , Jan 16, 2009 11:29AM
Jan 09 - Thain to replace Pandit
Mar 09 - BoA Acquires Citi
Posted by guest , Jan 16, 2009 11:32AM
Too AIG, didn't liquidate.
Posted by guest , Jan 16, 2009 11:32AM
Every rose has its Thain
Posted by guest , Jan 16, 2009 11:37AM
Too Citi - went to sleep
Posted by guest , Jan 16, 2009 11:39AM
Pandit's Shitty Poop
Posted by Seaman Bodine , Jan 16, 2009 11:39AM
funny, but GS probably has the best strategy of all...shut the fuck up and wait
Posted by guest , Jan 16, 2009 11:39AM
C-Gas is now reporting that John Thain has decided to forgo the Citi opportunity and step in for Steve Jobs at Apple. He cites the folks at Apple telling him "go fuck yourself, you raving lunatic" as concrete proof that the rumor is true.
Posted by Conflicts of disinterest , Jan 16, 2009 11:50AM
Envelope please! And the nominees are Dick Fuld, Primerica; Jimi Cayne, CAI; and Burnie Madoff, Secretary of the Treasury. Let's tap the skills of these once great Americans, to the national advantage
Posted by guest , Jan 16, 2009 11:59AM
I'll take the job.
My first step will be to fire EVERYBODY, without exception. Then, I will conduct interviews to fill the approximately 300,000 open positions around the world that will need to be staffed.
Naturally, regular readers of Dealbreaker* and bankers bearing bribes in excess of $20,000 apiece will have first pick of open positions. Jolly elves and adorable woodland creatures need not apply.
For this public service, I will take a nominal salary of $1 a year, plus one metric ass-ton of C, BAC, and JPM options of my choice.
You are allowed to express your gratitude.
TED
* You will need to prove this, by identifying, under time pressure, any three of the following items:
- ShamWow
- TLDR
- TGFD
- Wideclops
- Equity Private's cup size
- Bess Levin's eye color
Posted by Seaman Bodine , Jan 16, 2009 12:05PM
Just the like the Rock in Walking Tall baby
you are all fired
Posted by guest , Jan 16, 2009 12:14PM
What does TLDR and TGFD stand for? I've been on this site long enough to know what JO&C stands for...
Posted by guest , Jan 16, 2009 12:16PM
Google told me what TLDR stands for...how about TGFD (too good for drugs?)
Posted by guest , Jan 16, 2009 12:18PM
TGFD: you wont find it in Google. Its "The Guy From Delaware". A poster, who we haven't heard from in awhile. He went to cash at the market bottom. Maybe even bought some double-short S&P 500 Index ETFs. Hasn't been heard much from since.
Posted by guest , Jan 16, 2009 12:25PM
Now, now, boys and girls: no sharing.
And after all, I'm really only interested in the last two items.
TED
Posted by guest , Jan 16, 2009 2:35PM
this photo givess me the creeps
Posted by guest , Jan 16, 2009 3:07PM
TLDR: Teldar Paper