• 22 Jan 2009 at 11:25 AM

John Thain To Get Canned For Having Fabulous Taste?

CNBC’s Senior Interior Decorator Charlie Gasparino dug deep and reports that upon taking over at Merrill last year, John Thain spent $1.22 million redecorating his office (itemized receipt after the jump). We don’t really care either way if JT “gets” to stay at Bank of Amerillwide or not, but please for the love of Angelo Mozilo (who, btw, didn’t get any heat for converting his office into a Hollywood Tans in ’89), if he does, can it be over the issue of spending $35k on a Porta Potty? This is something we want, nay, need, to hear Ken Lewis get worked up over. If that can’t be arranged, we’ll settle for Lewis sending a bunch of men over to Thain’s office to pee on, and then steal, the 90k rug.


Area rug: $87,784
Mahogany pedestal table: $25,713
19th Century Credenza: $68,179
Pendant Light Furniture: $19,751
4 pairs of curtains: $28,091
Pair of guest chairs: $87,784
George IV chair: $18,468
6 Wall Sconces: $2,741
Parchment waste can: $1,405
Roman Shade Fabric: $10,967
Roman Shades: $7,315
Coffee Table: $5,852
Commode on Legs: $35,115

Comments (73)

  1. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 11:26 AM

    Bess Salary > Bankers Salaries Combined

  2. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 11:27 AM

    They need a Wideclops bidet that fires fuck me boots up the asses of BofA’s IB division

  3. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 11:27 AM

    Total scumbag. Complete waste of human DNA.
    Someone out there is seriously leaking info on Thain to destroy his reputation. The inner halls of BAC must be a war right now.

  4. Posted by merkin capital partners | January 22, 2009 at 11:28 AM

    Dude, the rug really tied the room together.

  5. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 11:28 AM

    What, no golden shower? Surely he deserves one.

  6. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 11:30 AM

    They need a Wideclops bidet that fires fuck me boots up the asses of BofA’s IB division

  7. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 11:30 AM

    What does a $43,000 “guest chair” look like?
    And I didn’t even know $1,400 garbage cans existed. I thought the $5,000 shower curtain was the ne plus ultra of hedonism, but I must say – $1,400 to hold garbage is impressive.

  8. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 11:33 AM

    1 strike. 2 strikes. 3 strikes. THAIN IS OUT.

  9. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 11:34 AM

    Gasparino obviously has secret connections with Gay Interior Design Firm…..hmmmm, this is getting more interesting

  10. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 11:34 AM

    Also, my rug was stolen

  11. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 11:34 AM
  12. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 11:34 AM

    @4 You sound like my ex-wife.

  13. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 11:35 AM

    What does a $43,000 “guest chair” look like?
    —————
    @ 7 – it gives you a reacharound then aims the shooting member at Thain’s face for the money shot

  14. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 11:37 AM

    #13: Kramer, is that you?

  15. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 11:37 AM

    Gasparino needs to learn how to keep his congealed saliva inside his trap out of viewers sight.
    A tissue would be another alternative.

  16. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 11:38 AM

    marijuana inc tonight. finally something good out of cnbc

  17. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 11:38 AM

    Jesus, $87,000 for two chairs? What the fuck? Seriously, what the fucking fuck?

  18. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 11:38 AM

    Grow up kids. Do you all honestly think that Thain sat there and decorated his office? More likely, the facilities people were told a new CEO is coming, and found $1.2 million in their budget to accomodate him. Showed him a few pictures and he nodded yes or no. 1) Think of the facilities budget for ML. That amount would be lost in the rounding. A three day cold snap will increase the heating bills by 5x that much. 2) Most of the stuff on the list is hard assets, not like the $1.2 went down the toilet. It can be sold. This is a hatchet job.

  19. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 11:38 AM

    With that budget how is Linen’s N Things going out of business???

  20. Posted by merkin capital partners | January 22, 2009 at 11:39 AM

    @12 you sound like you’ve never seen the Big Lebowski

  21. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 11:39 AM

    16
    Pot and trish reagan? Doesn’t get any better than that

  22. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 11:39 AM

    Too gabagool drool, didn’t wipe.

  23. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 11:40 AM
  24. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 11:43 AM
  25. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 11:45 AM

    2) Most of the stuff on the list is hard assets, not like the $1.2 went down the toilet. It can be sold.
    Ha, and you probably thought the same thing about all the other assets on bank balance sheets as well right? TARP would be the only buyer of this stuff at what BAC paid for it.
    Good luck selling anything just bought through an interior designer at half what he billed you for.

  26. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 11:45 AM

    Complete lack of self-awareness.

  27. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 11:45 AM

    Here is an idea for all the layed off securisation bankers.
    Pot securistation: warehouse it, package it up, grade it, sell it.
    But remember the lessons of recent history, don’t fuck up the quality of the underlying assets.

  28. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 11:46 AM

    Too Liberace; didn’t read.

  29. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 11:46 AM

    @18 – a well deserved hatchet job. Thain has been an ass from the start. Unfortunately Lewis let it go on and on and now it’s become a joke. KDL must go as well.

  30. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 11:47 AM

    WAIT ! Commode on Legs: $35,115
    is that a euphemism for hooker?

  31. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 11:49 AM

    For you back-office employees who furnish your Jersey City studios with pieces from Ikea and Jennifer Convertibles, in refined company a commode is not a toilet, but a curved chest of drawers.
    Sayeth the Wikipedia: “The word commode comes from the French word for ‘convenient’ or ‘suitable.’”
    “In the English-speaking world, commode passed into London cabinet-makers’ parlance by the mid-eighteenth century, to describe chests of drawers with gracefully curved fronts, and sometimes with shaped sides as well, perceived as being in the ‘French’ taste.”

  32. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 11:50 AM

    #18 – Wow. You sound like his PR agent/apologist. Yes, Thain does know what those things cost. Sure he didn’t pick them himself, but he had to know what the items cost. Rounding error. Give me a break. These firms were cracking down on all kinds of expense items. His ego (given the ridiculous request for the bonus and then this) must be out of control.

  33. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 11:51 AM

    @18 – a well deserved hatchet job. Thain has been an ass from the start. Unfortunately Lewis let it go on and on and now it’s become a joke. KDL must go as well.

  34. Posted by grahamwscott | January 22, 2009 at 11:57 AM

    @12 – So your ex-wife sounds like Jeffrey Lebowski? (aka: The Dude) Can start to see why she is your ex.

  35. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 12:01 PM

    they cut back meals from $25 to $20, cut black car service, cut this, cut that…anything more than a cloth cubicle wall with the rest of us is too elaborate for that smarmy, slimy, pig fucking sonofabitch

  36. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 12:01 PM

    @20, 35, this aggression will not stand

  37. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 12:05 PM
  38. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 12:12 PM

    @18 – shhhh – stop interjecting reality. It will only serve to provoke those who wish to wield pitchforks.
    @28 – when you figure out what those words you’re trying to use mean, come back with some new sentences.

  39. Posted by Suits | January 22, 2009 at 12:17 PM

    The Dude: Walter, what is the point? Look, we all know who is at fault here, what the fuck are you talking about?
    Walter Sobchak: Huh? No, what the fuck are you… I’m not… We’re talking about unchecked aggression here, dude.
    Donny: What the fuck is he talking about?
    The Dude: My rug.
    Walter Sobchak: Forget it, Donny, you’re out of your element!
    The Dude: Walter, the chinaman who peed on my rug, I can’t go give him a bill, so what the fuck are you talking about?
    Walter Sobchak: What the fuck are you talking about? The chinaman is not the issue here, Dude. I’m talking about drawing a line in the sand, Dude. Across this line, you DO NOT… Also, Dude, chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please.
    The Dude: Walter, this isn’t a guy who built the railroads here. This is a guy…

  40. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 12:22 PM

    $90k buys a rookie Persian rug
    Dont even think Isfahan Silk or pre-Shah
    Mark-up is also north of 1000%

  41. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 12:22 PM

    Give us pictures! Will the new tax cheating US Treasury Secy get to be a guest in the $4 million BofA private suite at the new Yankee Stadium?

  42. Posted by Anal_yst | January 22, 2009 at 12:25 PM

    Wait, is this office @ Bryant park, I mean, I would have gone a little more modern if I were him, no?

  43. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 12:28 PM

    Obviously, @12 isn’t a bowler

  44. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 12:39 PM

    Antiques Roadshow is appraising the actual value of the office at $4,832.00

  45. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 12:46 PM

    @44 I can get you a toe

  46. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 12:49 PM

    To the guy who did not think Thain new about the costs. You do realise you personally signed off these expenses.

  47. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 12:53 PM

    it isn’t surprising to anyone that the area rug and the guest chairs cost exactly the same, to the dollar?
    a $1400 garbage can suggests he contracted with Halliburton “to handle the rebuilding effort.”

  48. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 12:59 PM

    @18 haha whatever.
    if, after walking in to his office, the thought didn’t cross his mind that the furnishings weren’t ridiculously expensive he is an idiot and should be gone.
    if, after realizing that it might be unwise or otherwise completely inappropriate he should have found out the cost and made some point to exchange the items or otherwise get them out of his office. the hatchet job was successful only because he’s an idiot, and, hence, gone.
    not all of the 1.22 million is hard assets. there are designer fees, labor fees, and probably extra costs involved in getting it all in order quickly, plus any inability to get anything other than the original price were they to be sold, nevermind the loss of interest. and they will be sold—what idiot of an executive is now going to show up and say, “hey, i’d really love thain’s rug?”
    and if it was facilities fault because they “had the budget” shouldn’t the good ol boy realized, after all the other cost cutting measures, that they might want to take a look at the executive facility budgets?
    it doesn’t matter whether they used a hatchet or a spiked fucking dildo. he deserves it if for no other reason than sheer stupidity.

  49. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 1:18 PM

    No comments on the fact that those things don’t remotely add up to 1.2 million dollars?
    No comments as to why they were all stacked on top of each other and guests had to climb the chair mountain or he wouldnt talk to them?

  50. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 1:35 PM

    50, that’s an enjoyable image, with the Legged Commode on top. Nice work.

  51. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 1:38 PM

    Did the commode have refrigeration capability to store the milk for the causcasians?

  52. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 1:42 PM

    I wouldn’t hold out much hope for the tape deck…or the Credence.
    -BeckyBootFan

  53. Posted by blndebnker | January 22, 2009 at 1:43 PM

    @32 – You’re a jackass. Most people wouldn’t know trivial crap like that, nor would they car.
    @40 – I can’t believe it took that long to post the chinaman quote.

  54. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 2:03 PM

    What a greedy shitbag. And to think I used to defend greedy Wall Street jack-legs like him.

  55. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 2:06 PM

    If Thain gets fired for wasting 1.2mm on his office, Lewis should be shot for wasting billions on Merrill.

  56. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 2:11 PM

    @54 – you writing that from your Boliden chair or did you blow your whole bonus on the Poang?

  57. Posted by blndebnker | January 22, 2009 at 2:14 PM

    @57 – 17th Century Setee, actually.

  58. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 2:30 PM

    So nobody shops at IKEA anymore

  59. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 2:30 PM

    So nobody shops at IKEA anymore

  60. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 2:45 PM

    So nobody shops at IKEA anymore

  61. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 2:45 PM

    So nobody shops at IKEA anymore

  62. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 3:58 PM

    Any clarification around the term “commode on legs?” A picture would be helpful here . . .

  63. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 4:29 PM

    Does a commode on legs have a pipe attached, or do you need someone to come in and empty it??

  64. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 4:29 PM

    Does a commode on legs have a pipe attached, or do you need someone to come in and empty it??

  65. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 4:29 PM

    Does a commode on legs have a pipe attached, or do you need someone to come in and empty it??

  66. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 4:30 PM

    Does a commode on legs have a pipe attached, or do you need someone to come in and empty it??

  67. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 4:31 PM

    Does a commode on legs have a pipe attached, or do you need someone to come in and empty it??

  68. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 11:17 PM

    A $35,000 commode for a real big piece of shit!

  69. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 11:17 PM

    A $35,000 commode for a real big piece of shit!

  70. Posted by guest | January 24, 2009 at 9:12 PM

    @66: can’t you read? the commode has legs, so obviously it walks away and empties itself

  71. Posted by guest | January 24, 2009 at 9:16 PM

    Thain > Lewis
    Thain’s interior decorator > Thain
    Thain pulled a fast one on Lewis. Thain’s interior decorator pulled a fast one on Thain.
    Thain’s decorator can now officially be designated as a wall street god ( FYI, you missed the real story. Thain’s wife set up the whole gig. Laugh)

  72. Posted by guest | January 25, 2009 at 2:06 PM

    Hang John Thain

  73. Posted by guest | September 15, 2009 at 8:25 PM

    @55 A truly greedy person would not waste such amounts of money on trivial items.