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John Thain To Get Canned For Having Fabulous Taste?

CNBC’s Senior Interior Decorator Charlie Gasparino dug deep and reports that upon taking over at Merrill last year, John Thain spent $1.22 million redecorating his office (itemized receipt after the jump). We don’t really care either way if JT “gets” to stay at Bank of Amerillwide or not, but please for the love of Angelo Mozilo (who, btw, didn’t get any heat for converting his office into a Hollywood Tans in ’89), if he does, can it be over the issue of spending $35k on a Porta Potty? This is something we want, nay, need, to hear Ken Lewis get worked up over. If that can’t be arranged, we’ll settle for Lewis sending a bunch of men over to Thain’s office to pee on, and then steal, the 90k rug.


Area rug: $87,784
Mahogany pedestal table: $25,713
19th Century Credenza: $68,179
Pendant Light Furniture: $19,751
4 pairs of curtains: $28,091
Pair of guest chairs: $87,784
George IV chair: $18,468
6 Wall Sconces: $2,741
Parchment waste can: $1,405
Roman Shade Fabric: $10,967
Roman Shades: $7,315
Coffee Table: $5,852
Commode on Legs: $35,115

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73 Responses to “John Thain To Get Canned For Having Fabulous Taste?”

  1. guest says:

    Bess Salary > Bankers Salaries Combined

  2. guest says:

    They need a Wideclops bidet that fires fuck me boots up the asses of BofA’s IB division

  3. guest says:

    Total scumbag. Complete waste of human DNA.
    Someone out there is seriously leaking info on Thain to destroy his reputation. The inner halls of BAC must be a war right now.

  4. merkin capital partners says:

    Dude, the rug really tied the room together.

  5. guest says:

    What, no golden shower? Surely he deserves one.

  6. guest says:

    They need a Wideclops bidet that fires fuck me boots up the asses of BofA’s IB division

  7. guest says:

    What does a $43,000 “guest chair” look like?
    And I didn’t even know $1,400 garbage cans existed. I thought the $5,000 shower curtain was the ne plus ultra of hedonism, but I must say – $1,400 to hold garbage is impressive.

  8. guest says:

    1 strike. 2 strikes. 3 strikes. THAIN IS OUT.

  9. guest says:

    Gasparino obviously has secret connections with Gay Interior Design Firm…..hmmmm, this is getting more interesting

  10. guest says:

    Also, my rug was stolen

  11. guest says:

    @4 You sound like my ex-wife.

  12. guest says:

    What does a $43,000 “guest chair” look like?
    —————
    @ 7 – it gives you a reacharound then aims the shooting member at Thain’s face for the money shot

  13. guest says:

    #13: Kramer, is that you?

  14. guest says:

    Gasparino needs to learn how to keep his congealed saliva inside his trap out of viewers sight.
    A tissue would be another alternative.

  15. guest says:

    marijuana inc tonight. finally something good out of cnbc

  16. guest says:

    Jesus, $87,000 for two chairs? What the fuck? Seriously, what the fucking fuck?

  17. guest says:

    Grow up kids. Do you all honestly think that Thain sat there and decorated his office? More likely, the facilities people were told a new CEO is coming, and found $1.2 million in their budget to accomodate him. Showed him a few pictures and he nodded yes or no. 1) Think of the facilities budget for ML. That amount would be lost in the rounding. A three day cold snap will increase the heating bills by 5x that much. 2) Most of the stuff on the list is hard assets, not like the $1.2 went down the toilet. It can be sold. This is a hatchet job.

  18. guest says:

    With that budget how is Linen’s N Things going out of business???

  19. merkin capital partners says:

    @12 you sound like you’ve never seen the Big Lebowski

  20. guest says:

    16
    Pot and trish reagan? Doesn’t get any better than that

  21. guest says:

    Too gabagool drool, didn’t wipe.

  22. guest says:

    2) Most of the stuff on the list is hard assets, not like the $1.2 went down the toilet. It can be sold.
    Ha, and you probably thought the same thing about all the other assets on bank balance sheets as well right? TARP would be the only buyer of this stuff at what BAC paid for it.
    Good luck selling anything just bought through an interior designer at half what he billed you for.

  23. guest says:

    Complete lack of self-awareness.

  24. guest says:

    Here is an idea for all the layed off securisation bankers.
    Pot securistation: warehouse it, package it up, grade it, sell it.
    But remember the lessons of recent history, don’t fuck up the quality of the underlying assets.

  25. guest says:

    Too Liberace; didn’t read.

  26. guest says:

    @18 – a well deserved hatchet job. Thain has been an ass from the start. Unfortunately Lewis let it go on and on and now it’s become a joke. KDL must go as well.

  27. guest says:

    WAIT ! Commode on Legs: $35,115
    is that a euphemism for hooker?

  28. guest says:

    For you back-office employees who furnish your Jersey City studios with pieces from Ikea and Jennifer Convertibles, in refined company a commode is not a toilet, but a curved chest of drawers.
    Sayeth the Wikipedia: “The word commode comes from the French word for ‘convenient’ or ‘suitable.'”
    “In the English-speaking world, commode passed into London cabinet-makers’ parlance by the mid-eighteenth century, to describe chests of drawers with gracefully curved fronts, and sometimes with shaped sides as well, perceived as being in the ‘French’ taste.”

  29. guest says:

    #18 – Wow. You sound like his PR agent/apologist. Yes, Thain does know what those things cost. Sure he didn’t pick them himself, but he had to know what the items cost. Rounding error. Give me a break. These firms were cracking down on all kinds of expense items. His ego (given the ridiculous request for the bonus and then this) must be out of control.

  30. guest says:

    @18 – a well deserved hatchet job. Thain has been an ass from the start. Unfortunately Lewis let it go on and on and now it’s become a joke. KDL must go as well.

  31. grahamwscott says:

    @12 – So your ex-wife sounds like Jeffrey Lebowski? (aka: The Dude) Can start to see why she is your ex.

  32. guest says:

    they cut back meals from $25 to $20, cut black car service, cut this, cut that…anything more than a cloth cubicle wall with the rest of us is too elaborate for that smarmy, slimy, pig fucking sonofabitch

  33. guest says:

    @20, 35, this aggression will not stand

  34. guest says:

    @18 – shhhh – stop interjecting reality. It will only serve to provoke those who wish to wield pitchforks.
    @28 – when you figure out what those words you’re trying to use mean, come back with some new sentences.

  35. Suits says:

    The Dude: Walter, what is the point? Look, we all know who is at fault here, what the fuck are you talking about?
    Walter Sobchak: Huh? No, what the fuck are you… I’m not… We’re talking about unchecked aggression here, dude.
    Donny: What the fuck is he talking about?
    The Dude: My rug.
    Walter Sobchak: Forget it, Donny, you’re out of your element!
    The Dude: Walter, the chinaman who peed on my rug, I can’t go give him a bill, so what the fuck are you talking about?
    Walter Sobchak: What the fuck are you talking about? The chinaman is not the issue here, Dude. I’m talking about drawing a line in the sand, Dude. Across this line, you DO NOT… Also, Dude, chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please.
    The Dude: Walter, this isn’t a guy who built the railroads here. This is a guy…

  36. guest says:

    $90k buys a rookie Persian rug
    Dont even think Isfahan Silk or pre-Shah
    Mark-up is also north of 1000%

  37. guest says:

    Give us pictures! Will the new tax cheating US Treasury Secy get to be a guest in the $4 million BofA private suite at the new Yankee Stadium?

  38. Anal_yst says:

    Wait, is this office @ Bryant park, I mean, I would have gone a little more modern if I were him, no?

  39. guest says:

    Obviously, @12 isn’t a bowler

  40. guest says:

    Antiques Roadshow is appraising the actual value of the office at $4,832.00

  41. guest says:

    @44 I can get you a toe

  42. guest says:

    To the guy who did not think Thain new about the costs. You do realise you personally signed off these expenses.

  43. guest says:

    it isn’t surprising to anyone that the area rug and the guest chairs cost exactly the same, to the dollar?
    a $1400 garbage can suggests he contracted with Halliburton “to handle the rebuilding effort.”

  44. guest says:

    @18 haha whatever.
    if, after walking in to his office, the thought didn’t cross his mind that the furnishings weren’t ridiculously expensive he is an idiot and should be gone.
    if, after realizing that it might be unwise or otherwise completely inappropriate he should have found out the cost and made some point to exchange the items or otherwise get them out of his office. the hatchet job was successful only because he’s an idiot, and, hence, gone.
    not all of the 1.22 million is hard assets. there are designer fees, labor fees, and probably extra costs involved in getting it all in order quickly, plus any inability to get anything other than the original price were they to be sold, nevermind the loss of interest. and they will be sold—what idiot of an executive is now going to show up and say, “hey, i’d really love thain’s rug?”
    and if it was facilities fault because they “had the budget” shouldn’t the good ol boy realized, after all the other cost cutting measures, that they might want to take a look at the executive facility budgets?
    it doesn’t matter whether they used a hatchet or a spiked fucking dildo. he deserves it if for no other reason than sheer stupidity.

  45. guest says:

    No comments on the fact that those things don’t remotely add up to 1.2 million dollars?
    No comments as to why they were all stacked on top of each other and guests had to climb the chair mountain or he wouldnt talk to them?

  46. guest says:

    50, that’s an enjoyable image, with the Legged Commode on top. Nice work.

  47. guest says:

    Did the commode have refrigeration capability to store the milk for the causcasians?

  48. guest says:

    I wouldn’t hold out much hope for the tape deck…or the Credence.
    -BeckyBootFan

  49. blndebnker says:

    @32 – You’re a jackass. Most people wouldn’t know trivial crap like that, nor would they car.
    @40 – I can’t believe it took that long to post the chinaman quote.

  50. guest says:

    What a greedy shitbag. And to think I used to defend greedy Wall Street jack-legs like him.

  51. guest says:

    If Thain gets fired for wasting 1.2mm on his office, Lewis should be shot for wasting billions on Merrill.

  52. guest says:

    @54 – you writing that from your Boliden chair or did you blow your whole bonus on the Poang?

  53. blndebnker says:

    @57 – 17th Century Setee, actually.

  54. guest says:

    So nobody shops at IKEA anymore

  55. guest says:

    So nobody shops at IKEA anymore

  56. guest says:

    So nobody shops at IKEA anymore

  57. guest says:

    So nobody shops at IKEA anymore

  58. guest says:

    Any clarification around the term “commode on legs?” A picture would be helpful here . . .

  59. guest says:

    Does a commode on legs have a pipe attached, or do you need someone to come in and empty it??

  60. guest says:

    Does a commode on legs have a pipe attached, or do you need someone to come in and empty it??

  61. guest says:

    Does a commode on legs have a pipe attached, or do you need someone to come in and empty it??

  62. guest says:

    Does a commode on legs have a pipe attached, or do you need someone to come in and empty it??

  63. guest says:

    Does a commode on legs have a pipe attached, or do you need someone to come in and empty it??

  64. guest says:

    A $35,000 commode for a real big piece of shit!

  65. guest says:

    A $35,000 commode for a real big piece of shit!

  66. guest says:

    @66: can’t you read? the commode has legs, so obviously it walks away and empties itself

  67. guest says:

    Thain > Lewis
    Thain’s interior decorator > Thain
    Thain pulled a fast one on Lewis. Thain’s interior decorator pulled a fast one on Thain.
    Thain’s decorator can now officially be designated as a wall street god ( FYI, you missed the real story. Thain’s wife set up the whole gig. Laugh)

  68. guest says:

    Hang John Thain

  69. guest says:

    @55 A truly greedy person would not waste such amounts of money on trivial items.