• 12 Jan 2009 at 1:45 PM

Layoffs Watch ’09: BAC Cutlery

By Bess Levin

Picture 546.pngBank of Amerillwide is apparently supposed to announce today (if they haven’t already) that the firm will be eliminating all plastic knives, forks, and spoons, in addition to paper plates and styrofoam cups. All associates will receive “a BAC-branded coffee cup that its biodegradable in landfills over a five year period.” According to one disgruntled styro-loving employee “they are spinning it to sound like its being done to save the environment but it’s obviously just another crushing blow to employee morale.” OR: it’s a company-wide welcome wagon to the Merrill people, who we’re told prefer consuming food Medieval Times-style, and the Countrywiders, who 9 times out of 10 will pick a feed-bag over a knife and fork. Only Ken Lewis knows for sure.

Comments (40)

  1. 1
    Posted by guest | January 12, 2009 at 1:56 PM

    Those hicks know how to use forks and knives?

  2. 2
    Posted by guest | January 12, 2009 at 1:57 PM

    When is the “If its yellow let it mellow” memo due out? I wonder if ARS has that memo yet?

  3. 3
    Posted by guest | January 12, 2009 at 1:59 PM

    Really? I always envisione a trough system

  4. 4
    Posted by guest | January 12, 2009 at 2:06 PM

    @2, it’s “too” not “to” you frickin moron. If you’re going to make a lame ass attempt at humor on every one of these threads, at least try to get your grammar correct.

  5. 5
    Posted by guest | January 12, 2009 at 2:09 PM

    @5 – it’s “fucking” not “frickin”.

  6. 6
    Posted by guest | January 12, 2009 at 2:10 PM

    @5, thanks for the tip. In the case of my post, the correct spelling would be “to”. Others write “to” but mean “too”. Was making fun of them.

  7. 7
    Posted by guest | January 12, 2009 at 2:11 PM

    @5 – you’re joking, right?

  8. 8
    Posted by guest | January 12, 2009 at 2:12 PM

    @5 – you’re joking, right?

  9. 9
    Posted by guest | January 12, 2009 at 2:13 PM

    article just posted internally. not a joke.

  10. 10
    Posted by guest | January 12, 2009 at 2:16 PM

    Too Horsey, didn’t read.
    I didn’t know they were handing out executive oat sacks. Must get mine …

  11. 11
    Posted by guest | January 12, 2009 at 2:16 PM

    @10/11- what do you mean?

  12. 12
    Posted by guest | January 12, 2009 at 2:16 PM

    @5 Why do you feel so strongly that you need to comment in such a negative manner? Why do you feel you need to judge others in order to feel better about yourself. It is ok, we understand you feel inadequate not a big deal. Just keep it to yourself and maybe your boyfriend won’t notice.

  13. 13
    Posted by guest | January 12, 2009 at 2:17 PM

    Thanks @8&9 for support.
    -@2

  14. 14
    Posted by guest | January 12, 2009 at 2:19 PM

    @5- Its “grammer”. Whoes the moreon know.
    SPODE

  15. 15
    Posted by guest | January 12, 2009 at 2:20 PM

    @5- Its “grammer”. Whoes the moreon know.
    SPODE

  16. 16
    Posted by guest | January 12, 2009 at 2:23 PM

    @ 16.
    - Click once
    - Shut up twice

  17. 17
    Posted by guest | January 12, 2009 at 2:25 PM

    @ 16.
    - Click once
    - Shut up twice

  18. 18
    Posted by guest | January 12, 2009 at 2:25 PM

    @ 16.
    - Click once
    - Shut up twice

  19. 19
    Posted by guest | January 12, 2009 at 2:27 PM

    @18-20
    Take a bow champ.
    SPODE

  20. 20
    Posted by guest | January 12, 2009 at 2:27 PM

    18 just lit himself up.

  21. 21
    Posted by guest | January 12, 2009 at 2:36 PM

    BAC took away the soups and tea bags in January last year, prior to some bigtime WIDECLOPS action. Probably no great surprise that this is likely to mean that the bat-eyed bitch in the boots is making a comeback….

  22. 22
    Posted by guest | January 12, 2009 at 2:50 PM

    @16 & 17
    In the heartland of America, Grammar always gets the girls. Grammer washes the dirty, post-coital linen.

  23. 23
    Posted by guest | January 12, 2009 at 2:54 PM

    speaking of tea bags… If you are the guy, would you be getting teabagged, or teabagging someone? My friends and I disagree on this. I think it is the guy who teabags the girl

  24. 24
    Posted by guest | January 12, 2009 at 2:56 PM

    The cannibalism on this thread feels threatening, almost like a mosh pit.

  25. 25
    Posted by guest | January 12, 2009 at 2:57 PM

    @23 – nice try. plenty of teabags and instant soup still here.

  26. 26
    Posted by guest | January 12, 2009 at 3:04 PM

    teabags… YEAH THERE IS!

  27. 27
    Posted by guest | January 12, 2009 at 3:08 PM

    @25 it would be your second guess…you can get a teabag from the chica, but she is technically getting teabag’ged’…i.e. – u r teabagging her

  28. 28
    Posted by guest | January 12, 2009 at 3:11 PM

    25 Newsflash: a guy can give as well as get a teabag. You need to start thinking out of the box more. Esp in this difficult environment. GAnalYst

  29. 29
    Posted by guest | January 12, 2009 at 3:20 PM

    @27 Soups and teas were indeed temporarily removed, but perhaps you weren’t there then, or the mailroom was unaffected (see Dealbreaker passim)…
    Normal soup service was restored later in the year, after WIDECLOPS had done her work.

  30. 30
    Posted by guest | January 12, 2009 at 3:34 PM

    does this mean they’re getting rid of the dessert cart on the treasury floor???

  31. 31
    Posted by guest | January 12, 2009 at 3:48 PM

    What is a Hebrew?
    A male tea bag.
    …bada-bing!

  32. 32
    Posted by guest | January 12, 2009 at 4:30 PM

    I remember at bank of NY they took away our plastic cups for the water cooler and we had to buy cups upstairs..after bitching it to the MD of the CDO group (what a shitty product i worked on) we got our cups back…hell i got laid off but got severarnce….probably all due to the cups..or the CDO’s…

  33. 33
    Posted by guest | January 12, 2009 at 9:56 PM

    You can’t sip codeine and sprite out of a mug!!!! THIS IS BULLLSHIT.

  34. 34
    Posted by guest | January 13, 2009 at 9:14 AM

    have they done anything to MBS/CMBS yet? which one is going to be affected the least? any idea?

  35. 35
    Posted by guest | January 13, 2009 at 11:54 AM

    can anyone shed some light on what 1st year associates out of top 10 mba programs got for 2008 stub bonus, if any? thanks, started a new job in early august and need a comparison.

  36. 36
    Posted by guest | January 13, 2009 at 2:43 PM

    @37 what did you get? then i’ll tell you what i got

  37. 37
    Posted by guest | January 13, 2009 at 3:31 PM

    @37 – one stack of cups, 500 Spirit points (to be redeemed by 1st Feb) and the warm, fuzzy feeling of having a job for a further month.

  38. 38
    Posted by guest | January 14, 2009 at 1:28 PM

    The first years (and possibly others) have to take exams today. These exams include accouting, valuation,modeling, and writing. These tests follow interviews that they had yesterday. Lastly, apparently some were neither invited to the interviews or the exams..aka your fucked.

  39. 39
    Posted by guest | January 14, 2009 at 1:29 PM

    The first years (and possibly others) have to take exams today. These exams include accouting, valuation,modeling, and writing. These tests follow interviews that they had yesterday. Lastly, apparently some were neither invited to the interviews or the exams..aka your fucked.

  40. 40
    Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 6:31 AM

    @40/41 – “you’re” means “you are,” not “your;” cretin.

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