• 02 Jan 2009 at 9:09 AM

Opening Bell: 01.02.09

By Bess Levin

Picture 483.pngPonzi Pal Pimps Out House (Page Six)
Victory for the Noels! The Fairfield Greenwich family has finally recouped some of its $7.5 billion losses. It’ll spread pretty thinly over the firm’s many, many now-destitute investors but what can you do? We’re just happy to see Greenwich’s finest finally catch a break, and hope it’s a sign of things to come. The Post reports that after weeks of attempting to rent out their shack on the island of Mustique, the Noel’s were able to find a couple willing to shell out $55,000 a week for the opportunity to have a good laugh. For those of you unable to afford the comedic relief (Walter, Monica), JO&C to what you’re missing here.
Bank of America, Wells close mergers as banking transforms (Reuters)
Bank of AmerrillWide was made official yesterday. A Mount Rushmore-esque erection but with the faces of Ken Lewis, Stan O’Neal and Angelo Mozilo will be on display in the BoA lobby starting Monday.
GMAC, GM to Amend Financing Agreement (WSJ)

GMAC LLC said Friday that it agreed to amend its financing-services agreement with General Motors Corp., allowing GM the option to offer auto financing incentives through a third-party financing source for two years under some circumstances.
Under the original 2006 agreement, whenever GM offers financing incentives such as lower interest rates than market rates, it was obliged to do so through GMAC. GM received an annual fee from GMAC for granting the exclusive right to provide that financing, which was effective through November 2016. GM and GMAC agreed to finalize the amendment by March 29.
In a filing with the Securities and Exchange Commission, GMAC said that after the two-year period, GM can offer any such incentive programs on a graduated basis through third parties on a non-exclusive, side-by-side basis with GMAC.

Performance for the Kensington segment of our favorite Midwestern hedge fund (okay, top five), supposedly:


Through 12/24/08:
MTD: -9.35%
YTD: -57.5%
And don’t forget, ladies!

Comments (45)

Newer Comments
  1. 1
    Posted by guest | January 2, 2009 at 9:19 AM

    Let’s get to work here.

  2. 2
    Posted by guest | January 2, 2009 at 9:22 AM

    OK, my prediction for 2009. It’s going to be a bad year for Bernie Madoff.

  3. 3
    Posted by Anal_yst | January 2, 2009 at 9:27 AM

    anyone else sick, miserable, and stuck at work on this beautiful day?

  4. 4
    Posted by Phobos | January 2, 2009 at 9:31 AM

    @3
    Yeah, aren’t we lucky?

  5. 5
    Posted by guest | January 2, 2009 at 9:41 AM

    OK – how big is Kensington vs. rest of Citadel, and is this indicative of overall Kenny G performance?

  6. 6
    Posted by guest | January 2, 2009 at 9:42 AM

    @5- have you been living under a rock? kensington (and wellington) are the flagship funds

  7. 7
    Posted by AJ | January 2, 2009 at 9:44 AM

    @4 at least we aren’t fired… yet…

  8. 8
    Posted by guest | January 2, 2009 at 9:45 AM

    @6: Yes, but Medallion is considered Simon’s “flagship” and it is up, but investors are only able to get into RIEF, which is down, so that is the number that means anything. just want to get facts, but I can Google, thanks.

  9. 9
    Posted by guest | January 2, 2009 at 9:48 AM

    Why didn’t they put all of Kensington funds on one spin of the roulette wheel and double up? Certainly they could have hedged this by options on casino stocks. I would make a great HF manager.

  10. 10
    Posted by guest | January 2, 2009 at 9:59 AM

    9, you mean HF CEO.

  11. 11
    Posted by guest | January 2, 2009 at 10:02 AM

    Why isn’t anyone trading???? WTF??? Let’s go!…Lets get crackin’..!! Dammit!! I’m co-dependent!!!
    ~The Obsessed, Over-Caffeinated Oil Trader

  12. 12
    Posted by guest | January 2, 2009 at 10:18 AM

    @11 Check out the movement on Teldar Paper.

  13. 13
    Posted by Anal_yst | January 2, 2009 at 10:18 AM

    @11
    Because they’re home sleeping?
    –Sick, annoyed, bitter, soon-to-be-overcaffinated Anal_yst

  14. 14
    Posted by mrpink | January 2, 2009 at 10:18 AM

    Happy New Year all…
    God, I hope this year is better than last year.
    and yes, anal_yst… i’m sitting here looking out the window feeling like a prisoner. But, i’m happy to be here to get the check.
    -mrp

  15. 15
    Posted by guest | January 2, 2009 at 10:19 AM

    http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=28c_1230704298
    check out this link…..funny, but disturbing, thought I would share
    CSWTF

  16. 16
    Posted by guest | January 2, 2009 at 10:19 AM

    now was that -57.5% before or after the gates closed. i’m guessing it got registered the day after…

  17. 17
    Posted by guest | January 2, 2009 at 10:21 AM

    @15 – Is that Steve Cohen?

  18. 18
    Posted by ab | January 2, 2009 at 10:23 AM

    @anal_yst
    “beautiful day”?? you can’t be talking about nyc today…

  19. 19
    Posted by guest | January 2, 2009 at 10:25 AM

    S&P -41.175% to 12/24/08. Another year of outperformance for the fund…

  20. 20
    Posted by guest | January 2, 2009 at 10:37 AM

    I am updated my CEO deathpool…is Vikram still CEO?

  21. 21
    Posted by NotNasser | January 2, 2009 at 10:38 AM

    A bit like the plot of the Lemmon/MacMurray/MacLaine picture “The Apartment”, no?

  22. 22
    Posted by Anal_yst | January 2, 2009 at 10:39 AM

    @ ab
    Text doesn’t quite capture the bitter sarcasm I was trying for, apparently.
    @ Mr. P
    No doubt about it; as much as I dislike being in the office especially today, I remember how depressing being unemployed was. Those of us still employed (knock on wood) gotta hold on as long as we can.

  23. 23
    Posted by guest | January 2, 2009 at 10:39 AM

    Hey Pikers…GET ON THE PHONE !!!

  24. 24
    Posted by guest | January 2, 2009 at 10:56 AM

    I’ve been battling a Mount Rushmore-esque erection all morning.

  25. 25
    Posted by guest | January 2, 2009 at 11:00 AM

    @24 please contact your physician and lay off the Viagra and Red Bulls.

  26. 26
    Posted by guest | January 2, 2009 at 11:12 AM

    @24: Has it been more than six hours? If so, please contact the Guinness Book of World Records.

  27. 27
    Posted by guest | January 2, 2009 at 11:17 AM

    If you showed up at a Noel family function with carrots, sugar cubes, apples and a big bag of oaks I bet you could get a ton of poon tang.
    Hey Mr. Ed, forget the Courvoisier, the ladies Noel like to party Saratoga style.

  28. 28
    Posted by guest | January 2, 2009 at 11:23 AM

    Lots of slapchop going on here. Not enough shamwow.

  29. 29
    Posted by guest | January 2, 2009 at 11:30 AM

    again, i am bored. wit, sarcasm, irony please. how about some one liners…or a line, oh no wait-cant do that anymore

  30. 30
    Posted by guest | January 2, 2009 at 11:32 AM

    The Noels are only the most recent swindlers who funneled money to Bernie.
    Michael Bienes is a cheap hustler and immoral swindler who has been funneling money to Madoff for over 35 years. There is evidence to suggest his relationship with Madoff never ceased and has just been moved overseas to London http://mehtafiscal.wordpress

  31. 31
    Posted by guest | January 2, 2009 at 11:34 AM

    picture (sort of) of Bess: http://guestofaguest.com/nyc-new-years-eve/nyc-writers-artists-and-socials-share-their-new-years-resolutions/
    cute, but when you add in the MOT-y vitriol… hotness!
    anyone have a pic of EP, perhaps from her middling-market PE stint at Kaupthing? she intimated that she was hot, though being english she might be a snaggletoothed version of the Noel “stable”…

  32. 32
    Posted by guest | January 2, 2009 at 11:53 AM

    Bess,
    wanna come over today?
    we can drink cheap red wine, listen to Otis Redding and ruin my new Leron sheets?

  33. 33
    Posted by guest | January 2, 2009 at 11:56 AM

    @31 I would like to play hide-the-pickle with Anisha & Summer in 2009

  34. 34
    Posted by guest | January 2, 2009 at 11:56 AM

    #24….Don’t the Lilliputions have a Mt. Rushmore, too?

  35. 35
    Posted by Anal_yst | January 2, 2009 at 11:57 AM

    @31
    EP is not a snaggletooth

  36. 36
    Posted by mrpink | January 2, 2009 at 12:02 PM

    I’m going to go romp with wideclops(male) in the bathroom.
    -mrp

  37. 37
    Posted by guest | January 2, 2009 at 12:06 PM

    @31- i believe carney was the one with the snaggle tooth actually

  38. 38
    Posted by guest | January 2, 2009 at 12:13 PM

    Where the hell are the rice market updates???

  39. 39
    Posted by guest | January 2, 2009 at 12:26 PM

    Chicago Board of Trade rice futures stumbled into the close Tuesday after trading higher for most of the session.
    January rice dropped 5 1/2 cents to settle at $15.37 1/2 per cwt. March rice lost 5 cents to $15.33 1/2.

  40. 40
    Posted by guest | January 2, 2009 at 12:43 PM

    Is the PureSleep mouth guard the Snuggie/Pajama Gram of 2008?
    -Nominat me

  41. 41
    Posted by Anal_yst | January 2, 2009 at 1:27 PM

    More importantly, snuggie: appropriate office attire?
    Discuss.

  42. 42
    Posted by guest | January 2, 2009 at 2:01 PM

    @ Anal_yst
    Depends. What shoes are you wearing with the Snuggie?
    -Nominate me

  43. 43
    Posted by guest | January 3, 2009 at 10:30 AM

    @ 41
    only on Sat / Sun, though no ‘internal’ JO&C allowed (i.e., normal bathroom JO&C rules apply)

  44. 44
    Posted by Investorcluzo | January 3, 2009 at 3:53 PM

    snuggie is the new shamwow! I was a buyer until they showed the people on the fake bleachers at the fake football game. seriously, snuggies are not to be worn outside of the house…

  45. 45
    Posted by guest | January 5, 2009 at 7:46 AM

    The New York Times reports that Lettie Noel debuted at the International Debutante Ball on Dec 29 2008 in NYC (http://www.nytimes.com/imagepages/2009/01/02/fashion/04parties.ready.html)
    Is this also a Noel of the Noels that screw people over?

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