Pack-Mentality Noels Ruined Mustique Tennis Matches

Posted by Bess Levin, Jan 06, 2009, 9:45am

Picture 499.pngAs you know, we experienced a terrible case of second-hand heartbreak upon learning that Fairfield Greenwich founder Walter Noel and his family would not be making it to their quaint little place on Mustique this year, due to other obligations. You probably grieved as well, but apparently one group of people is a-okay with the turn events-- their neighbors on the island. According to one local resident, "they are definitely not missed" and "the No. 1 comment this winter was how much nicer it is on the island without the Noels." Another told the Post that the fam, which had a rep for moving in "an aggressive, pack-like fashion," straight up ruined tennis for everyone because "they would all come onto the side of the courts and talk so loudly you had to stop your game because you couldn't concentrate." To celebrate the Noel's absence, one enterprising young bartender has created the "No Noel" cocktail, which is "a take on a mojito." Any guess what the secret ingredient is?

6Recommend this! 36Comments

Comments

1

Posted by guest , Jan 06, 2009 9:51AM

Hemlock

2

Posted by Suits , Jan 06, 2009 9:52AM

Carrots?

3

Posted by guest , Jan 06, 2009 9:54AM

Diet Coke

4

Posted by guest , Jan 06, 2009 9:54AM

all sugar cubes, all the time

5

Posted by guest , Jan 06, 2009 9:55AM

ginned up profits

6

Posted by guest , Jan 06, 2009 9:56AM

Bacon fat?

7

Posted by guest , Jan 06, 2009 9:57AM

the tears of children

8

Posted by guest , Jan 06, 2009 9:58AM

@3- it's bernie who drinks diet coke, not the noels.

9

Posted by guest , Jan 06, 2009 10:01AM

@8 - Sorry, I thought the Noels and Bernie had something in common. My bad.

10

Posted by guest , Jan 06, 2009 10:01AM

p'tang??

11

Posted by guest , Jan 06, 2009 10:02AM

Salt Lick?

12

Posted by guest , Jan 06, 2009 10:02AM

Crow

13

Posted by miami , Jan 06, 2009 10:04AM

hormones?

14

Posted by guest , Jan 06, 2009 10:06AM

botox

15

Posted by guest , Jan 06, 2009 10:09AM

Noel Daughter Vagina Fluid...or whatever it excreets.

16

Posted by guest , Jan 06, 2009 10:10AM

Horse meat

17

Posted by cy , Jan 06, 2009 10:11AM

anabolic steriods

18

Posted by guest , Jan 06, 2009 10:18AM

@15

Thanks ahole-was just eating my morning yoghurt.

19

Posted by Anal_yst , Jan 06, 2009 10:22AM

haaaayyyyyyy

20

Posted by guest , Jan 06, 2009 10:33AM

Ponzu sauce

21

Posted by guest , Jan 06, 2009 10:36AM

@18, perfect response

22

Posted by girl , Jan 06, 2009 10:41AM

The hierarchy of wasp enjoyment, in descending order:

Complaining About Vacation-Home Neighbors

Red Pants

Cocaine

Racquet sports

Sex

23

Posted by guest , Jan 06, 2009 10:46AM

22 No mention of gin? I would also argue that the acquisition and consumption of cocaine takes a little more courage than most wasps can muster.

24

Posted by Lowly Assistant , Jan 06, 2009 10:51AM

Girl, you crack me up. And I believe 23's on to something. Something big.

25

Posted by guest , Jan 06, 2009 10:52AM

Widow and orphan tears!

26

Posted by girl , Jan 06, 2009 10:56AM

Au contraire my friends, gin replaces cocaine around the ages of 24-26. In the meantime, there's is always one guy with the severe addiction, and most importantly, ability to locate a non-threatening white dealer, who martyrs himself for the meek.

@ Lowly, right back at you, kid.

27

Posted by guest , Jan 06, 2009 11:00AM

23 here I stand corrected.

28

Posted by guest , Jan 06, 2009 11:41AM

i just google-earthed Mustique - its the size of my left nut. there are 5, maybe 6 tennis courts identifiable on the entire island. i doubt the Noels were disrupting the wasp equivalent of Federer-Nadal over there. Still, shut up, I'm trying to get a second serve in here, man.

29

Posted by guest , Jan 06, 2009 12:45PM

@28 WIN

30

Posted by guest , Jan 06, 2009 1:03PM

@23 You have sex too high. It should come after gardening and model trains.

31

Posted by guest , Jan 06, 2009 1:07PM

My vote goes to #20 for the ponzu sauce comment.

32

Posted by StillNoCouch , Jan 06, 2009 1:22PM

De Lamentations of de women ... ?

33

Posted by guest , Jan 06, 2009 5:02PM

Someone's "sloppy seconds"

34

Posted by guest , Jan 07, 2009 4:21PM

Oats

35

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 6:47AM

Catalina wine?

36

Posted by guest , Jan 28, 2009 5:04PM

Willlbbbuuurrrrrrrr

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