As you know, we experienced a terrible case of second-hand heartbreak upon learning that Fairfield Greenwich founder Walter Noel and his family would not be making it to their quaint little place on Mustique this year, due to other obligations. You probably grieved as well, but apparently one group of people is a-okay with the turn events– their neighbors on the island. According to one local resident, “they are definitely not missed” and “the No. 1 comment this winter was how much nicer it is on the island without the Noels.” Another told the Post that the fam, which had a rep for moving in “an aggressive, pack-like fashion,” straight up ruined tennis for everyone because “they would all come onto the side of the courts and talk so loudly you had to stop your game because you couldn’t concentrate.” To celebrate the Noel’s absence, one enterprising young bartender has created the “No Noel” cocktail, which is “a take on a mojito.” Any guess what the secret ingredient is?
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Hemlock
Carrots?
Diet Coke
all sugar cubes, all the time
ginned up profits
Bacon fat?
the tears of children
@3- it’s bernie who drinks diet coke, not the noels.
@8 – Sorry, I thought the Noels and Bernie had something in common. My bad.
p’tang??
Salt Lick?
Crow
hormones?
botox
Noel Daughter Vagina Fluid…or whatever it excreets.
Horse meat
anabolic steriods
@15
Thanks ahole-was just eating my morning yoghurt.
haaaayyyyyyy
Ponzu sauce
@18, perfect response
The hierarchy of wasp enjoyment, in descending order:
Complaining About Vacation-Home Neighbors
Red Pants
Cocaine
Racquet sports
Sex
22 No mention of gin? I would also argue that the acquisition and consumption of cocaine takes a little more courage than most wasps can muster.
Girl, you crack me up. And I believe 23′s on to something. Something big.
Widow and orphan tears!
Au contraire my friends, gin replaces cocaine around the ages of 24-26. In the meantime, there’s is always one guy with the severe addiction, and most importantly, ability to locate a non-threatening white dealer, who martyrs himself for the meek.
@ Lowly, right back at you, kid.
23 here I stand corrected.
i just google-earthed Mustique – its the size of my left nut. there are 5, maybe 6 tennis courts identifiable on the entire island. i doubt the Noels were disrupting the wasp equivalent of Federer-Nadal over there. Still, shut up, I’m trying to get a second serve in here, man.
@28 WIN
@23 You have sex too high. It should come after gardening and model trains.
My vote goes to #20 for the ponzu sauce comment.
De Lamentations of de women … ?
Someone’s “sloppy seconds”
Oats
Catalina wine?
Willlbbbuuurrrrrrrr