Consumer Reports Reports:
For example, at the liquidation, a 50-inch Panasonic plasma TV was discounted to $1,800, a $200 savings. That might sound like a bargain, but if you check the circular you’ll see that Circuit City had planned to cut the price this week by $500. What’s more, we found the same model online for $1,365, including free shipping.
An HP all-in-one printer, at the liquidation for $270, was scheduled to be on sale for $150. And we found it as low as $135 online. A Garmin GPS system, discounted to $225, was $160 in the circular and $141 online.
Despite the modest discounts, the checkout counter was mobbed. We repeatedly overheard salespeople telling customers that they had run out of merchandise. Shoppers were undeterred by signs proclaiming that all sales are final; that the store no longer was accepting the Circuit City credit cards, personal checks, or coupons; and that it wouldn’t match competitors’ prices.
This is either massive genius, or complete incompetence, depending on how the liquidation goes.
Bargain Hunting? Not So Much [Banker Gone Broke]
Stub: 7.5k
2nd year analyst (which at JPM means started training July ’07): 60 (top), 40 (middle), 12 (bottom).
Earlier: Comp Watch ’09: JPM
Have you considered Sarasota, Florida?
Culturally elegant and brimming with adventure, yet laid back and tranquil. This is a vacation destination like no other.
Wrapped with 35 miles of silken beachfront, Sarasota is a package of rich cultural history, sun-drenched islands, natural treasures and unlimited discoveries. Come … get to know Sarasota and Her Islands and see for yourself what makes this area so remarkable.
You’ll come for the white sands and breathtaking sunsets, but find there’s so much more to discover in Sarasota and Her Islands when you go beyond the beaches. Family festivals and activities. Arts, music and film. Romantic, gourmet dinners. Golf, sailing and fishing. World-class shopping. Weddings full of wonder.
Our lax attitude towards living mirrors our lax attitude to law enforcement. You will be pleased to know that our easy going law enforcement officials spend little time running down white collar crime. In many cases simply the expression of the desire to be left alone is enough to prompt our officers to pursue other, more rewarding opportunities. Police have already given up looking for our latest distinguished visitor, the now missing hedge fund manager Arthur Nadel as it is clear “he doesn’t want to be found.”
Our inviting atmosphere and easy to live with regulatory environment, combined with a high concentration of high net worth individuals nearing the end of their intellectual and cerebral lives makes Sarasota an ideal place to relocate. Come find out for yourself that sunshine and shady characters go hand in hand!
Nadel ‘Doesn’t Want To Be Found,’ Sheriff Says [FinAlternatives]
Not that we’re not thrilled with your genius decision, but, without digging too deep, can we just ask, why the change of heart? Does it really appear as though we’ve figured out how to make this thing work, or did ’09 just feel like your year to make some risky decisions, and unprotected sex with a junkie wasn’t feasible at this time?
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The U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission on Wednesday charged missing fund manager Arthur Nadel with defrauding investors at six Florida-based hedge funds.
The SEC said Nadel provided false information to investors about the funds’ returns and overstated the value of the investments by about $300 million.
Nadel, the 76-year-old head of a Sarasota fund management company, was reported missing by his family a week ago. Two days later investors began complaining to police that possibly hundreds of millions of dollars were missing from the funds he ran.
The fact that this guy, at 76, has managed to put our 38 year old DB Cooper wannabe to shame (the last sign of Nadel was his green Suburu found in the airport parking lot- which makes me think he is driving to Mexico in another vehicle while police waste their time looking at ticket records) makes him the leading candidate for the Dealbreaker Ponzi Escape Award (sponsored by the Dealbreaker Guide: How To Properly Escape Capture Following Your Massive (or Relatively Massive) Financial Fraud. Part II is presently in development!) We are still deciding on a trophy design. Feel free to put your suggestions (as well as any nominees we may have overlooked) into comments.
US SEC charges missing Florida fund manager [Reuters]
Bloomberg Reports:
A former Texas bail bondsman who told investors he ran a $45 million hedge fund and installed a swimming pool at his office was sued by U.S. regulators for allegedly operating a Ponzi scheme.
Ok, just stop for a second. Let’s deconstruct this one using Equity Private’s Guidebook for Financial Fraud Analysis (1st Edition).
Purported Hedge Fund Manager (Section 2: Base score: -1):
1. Former (-1)
2. Texas (-3)
3. Bail Bondsman (Not in the guidebook, use Section 4.5(a)(c): “The analyst should use her discretion in assigning a Purported Hedge Fund Manager element score. For reference the element ‘White Eyeshadow (male)’ is ranked as a -6). (Use: -4)
Environmental Signs Of Affluence:
1. Swimming Pool at Office (No direct rule. Author likely did not anticipate such a development. Use Section 3.4 as a guide: Accoutrements of leisure in the place of business. Pool table: -2. Liquor cabinet: -4). (Use: -7)
Hmmmm ok. Continue….
Rod Cameron Stringer of Lamesa misappropriated millions of dollars from investors since 2001 while touting a stock-trading strategy he said had annual profits of as much as 61 percent, the Securities and Exchange Commission said in a statement today, announcing the suit at federal court in Lubbock, Texas.
Rates Of Return:
Purported Annual Rate of Return: 61% (Section 7.5(a)-(d): Select from the following sliding scale where returns are claimed for more than one year) (Use: -14, see below)
[...]
55%-59% (-12)
60%-64% (-14)
65%-69% (-16)
[...]
A judge froze the assets and appointed a receiver to recover investor funds, the agency said. The location of investor money “is presently unknown,” the SEC said, noting some was used to finance a horse-racing partnership, buy a boat and build the pool at Stringer’s office.
Social Climbing Behavior:
Socially Elevated Endeavors: (Section 15(g): Equestrian (Use: -5)
Miscellaneous:
Unusual Firm or Owner Name: (Section 36: Examples provided: Vortex Capital Management, LLC, Tornado Partners, LLP, Mr. Nemo, Mr. Incognito, Mr. Shade E. Figur: Use: -5)
“Mr. Rod Stringer” (Use: -5)
Total: -36
Section 52: Impact of Scores:
-25 to -29: Very High Probability of Fraud (Consider notifying authorities outright).
-30 to -34: Very Very High Probability of Fraud (Notify Federal authorities immediately).
-35 to -39: Near Certainty of Fraud (Immediately solicit investment from Ken Lewis, seek referral fees).
Hedge Fund Run by Ex-Bondsman Is Ponzi Scam, SEC Says [Bloomberg]
Greenlight held its thirteenth annual partner dinner at the Museum of Natural History last night and the take-away, as previously prognosticated by us, is that David Einhorn is BACK. IN. THE. GAME. We say this not based on performance numbers, but on circumstantial evidence, that being the Green Lantern’s decision to send investors home with a very special gift: If You Try To Please Everybody, You Will Lose Your Ass, a book by DE’s father, Stephen Einhorn. Now, the cynical assholes among us will be quick to suggest that free books were all Einhorny could afford to distribute. WRONG-O.
The real implication is this: when you’ve got the the pair to offer investors anything less than “Sorry for losing your money” blow jobs, it’s ’cause you’ve got something big (positive territory returns) on the horizon. Porno-Dave is going to be huge in ’09.
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Could it be? Is the Donald about to fire bankruptcy? That’s what our totally unfounded (and usually spot on) sources claim. I have to say, looking at that monstrosity of a tower on the river in Chicago, I am unsurprised. (Let’s not even start on the Atlantic City casinos). We’d love to say Donald is everything that’s wrong with this country, but at least the guy tries to pay off his debts in bankruptcy (all of which so far have been limited to corporate bankruptcy though he had a close shave in the ’90s) and he’s certainly had a lot of experience in the field, so things are looking up for his creditors (maybe). So really, when you think about it, it’s actually Donald’s hair that is everything that is wrong with this country.
Re: Bearpont Morgan Chase employees being compensated (partially) in stock, we’re told 50% of the worthless portion (JK…JK I’m serious) of their bonuses will vest after two years, and the other 50% after three. In related news, the House of Dimon has instituted salary freezes for all worker bees making over 60K, including those who’ve been promoted (“new positions take effect at old salary”). The freeze was rumored as early as September, but MDs apparently claimed as recently as two weeks ago that promotions would go through “at less than expected salary bumps but increases still, and also that standard raises across business lines were coming. Now they’re saying we will be taken care of mid-year, ‘once the pressure is off,’ but no one has their fingers crossed.”
On the one hand: that’s cold, Dimon. On the other: it could be worse?
Earlier: Bonus Watch ’09 JPM
From the front lines of what is apparently turning out to be a massacre: “I’m hearing that 80% of BofA IB is being let go…and the head of BofA REIB covering hospitality was definitely canned.”
Earlier: Cutters At Bank of Amerillwide
