…is that Merrill President and Chief Operating Officer Greg Fleming might be out. Angelo Mozilo, head door greeter of the newly formed entity, is still all good.
Archive for January 2009
Apparently, nearly everyone, even the group supervisor at Rand, a player in most major futures and options exchanges, was sent packing if rumors are to be believed. We thought commodities were supposed to be the one saving grace asset class. Suppose not.
You know damn well they were just more Hannukah gifts. Not a big deal.
Federal prosecutors said Thursday that investigators who searched Bernard Madoff’s office desk after the money manager’s arrest on Dec. 11 found about 100 signed checks totaling more than $173 million.
We’ve resisted jumping in on the “who should play Bernie and Co” in the Madoff Movie of the Week game but CNBC’s Dennis Kneale has forced our hand. Spectacles suggested moments earlier on Power Lunch that the role of Bernie Madoff should go to Larry David. Larry David. One jew, any jew, I guess was his thinking but come on, Adolf, that’s probably the worst pick we can think of. Gary Busey would be a better choice. Tia Tequila, even. Please scrub this great moment in anti-Semitism and, more importantly, poor casting ability from our consciousness by suggesting someone more suitable at this time. Shouldn’t be hard, given the bar set by DK.
Take heart Wachovia employees! John Stumpf, CEO of the newly formed Wells Wachovia, told the Charlotte Observer yesterday that while there will be layoffs on the horizon, he’s “a big pro-jobs person.” So with the exception of these guys, most of you should consider yourselves safe!
We admit to having a serious soft spot for Bill Ackman and Pershing Square. For one, you have to love the hedge fund manager that actually sits down with Charlie Rose for an hour (or more). Plus, well, it’s Bill Ackman! So you can imagine our relief when we learned that Pershing Square had mostly dodged the bullet in 2008 and emerged down just 11.8% net of fees, including a totally flat (0.0% gross -0.2% net) return in December. Phew!
Oddly, they don’t report much of a short portfolio (6% overall). But who knows when that snapshot was taken and their hedged-sounding returns might have something to do with the $1.6 billion in credit default swaps that they’ve been holding.
Anyhow, we love you Bill! Call us, ‘kay? We’d love to hear about your strategies and maybe we could make an EP-BA-BL sandwich after? No promises.
Our favorite midwestern hedge fund (top 25) has closed its Emerging Markets group. We’re told that, among other things, like the matter of misplacing more than half its clients’ money in the flagship, one of the factors that went into the decision was a matter of redundancy. Apparently higher ups in Chicago deemed it just plain silly to keep the unit going in light of the fact that Kaveh Alamuti, head of the global macro biz, also trades some EMs in his spare time. Still, tears have been shed for the 8 employees who comprised the little group that could, and we pray to god the rumor circulating about Griffin’s plans to get rid of the distressed debt team, because it turns out the lady who waters the plants on Wednesdays has it covered, is bull shit.
The Securities and Exchange Commission has charged a Philadelphia-area investment fund manager and his firm for conducting a multi-million dollar Ponzi scheme, and has obtained an emergency court order freezing their assets.
According to the SEC’s complaint, Joseph S. Forte of Broomall, Pa., fraudulently obtained an estimated $50 million from as many as 80 investors through the sale of securities in the form of limited partnership interests in his firm, Joseph Forte, L.P. The SEC alleges that Forte told investors that he would invest the funds in an account that would trade in securities futures contracts, including S&P 500 stock index futures. According to the complaint, despite the impressive and consistent returns he reported to investors, Forte consistently lost money in the limited trading that he did, withdrew millions of dollars in so-called fees for his personal use based on the falsely inflated value of Forte LP, and used investor funds to repay other investors.
This is our favorite part though:
“Forte engaged in lies, deception and rapacious behavior at the expense of innocent investors, many of whom considered themselves his friends and close acquaintances.”
Oh, the humanity!
Buffett really wasn’t kidding with the swimming naked / tide metaphor.
SEC Charges Philadelphia-Area Fund Manger For Multi-Million Dollar Ponzi Scheme [StreetInsider]
The canning campaign begun yesterday at Bank of Amerillwide proceeds at a pace, and is expected to continue through Friday and into next week. Apparently the employees relieved of their duties yesterday were given 3-months plus 2-weeks for every year of service, no bonus. According to one current (and, fingers crossed, future) worker, three rounds of cuts are planned. He (Angelo Mozilo) added:
It could’ve been worse? Eh?
BoA Begins Layoffs (NYP)
The Post relays the news we told you yesterday: Bank of Amerillwide has begun it canning campaign. More details later this morning.
BOE Cuts Rate to Lowest Since Bank’s Creation in 1694 (Bloomberg)
“The Monetary Policy Committee, led by Governor Mervyn King, trimmed the bank rate by a half point to 1.5 percent. The result matched the median forecast of 60 economists in a Bloomberg News survey. The pound rose against the euro and the dollar.
“The availability of credit to both households and businesses has tightened further, pointing to the need for further measures to increase the flow of lending to the non- financial sector,” the Bank of England said in a statement. “Output is likely to continue to fall sharply during the first part of this year.”
SEC Reopens Pequot Insider Trading Probe (FINalternatives)
I can imagine that divorce sucks, but when your divorce proceedings bring to light the evidence needed for charges against your employer for insider trading: you’ve just fucked up.
“The resurrected probe comes following the revelation that Pequot or founder Arthur Samberg paid a former Microsoft employee who briefly worked for the hedge fund $1.4 million. The payments–two each of $700,000, with another due in April–came to light in financial statements filed by former analyst David Zilkha in divorce proceedings.”
And by God, since the SEC is just a bunch of ingrates walking around banging their heads on doorknobs, let’s get the Senate involved too: “Re-opening this case is overdue,” Sen. Charles Grassley (R-Iowa) said in a statement yesterday. “There are questions about why the SEC’s investigation was shut down in the first place. I hope this isn’t too little, too late.”
Citi Meeting With Senators In Re: Mortgages (Reuters)
Citi is one of the most tragically defunct banks in all of history, so of course they should be the advising government. What’s more: the US Senate appears to be listening as though Citi’s advice and insight aren’t what caused Citi to need enough money to float an island nation until the apocalypse.
If anyone on the Hill is reading: You screwed us with relative inaction last year, and now you’re taking advice from the most unstable-yet-operating bank within your geographic boundaries. Do you really think you have a firm grasp on the situation?
Popular Internet Financial Pundit Arrested In South Korea (DJ)
The Internet user, under the alias “Minerva,” caused a stir in recent months with more than 200 postings about the country’s financial crunch and the global economic crisis.
[...]
His writings irritated authorities with their sharp criticism of the government’s economic policy and its intervention in the foreign exchange market.
