mmpsmall.png“Ok, let’s see. Emergency. Emergency. Something that would make me just keep flying like… like on… autopilot. Yes. Autopilot. Why would I put the autopilot on. Hmmm. Weather? Mile high club? Heh heh heh. Hmmm. Damaged aircraft? Damaged aircraft that I can’t see out of. Damaged… window? Damaged windscreen. Jacksonville Center, November 428 Delta Charlie, my face has exploded and my windscreen is bleeding massively. No… no, that’s not it. Jacksonville Center, my windscreen has exploded and I’m bleeding horribly. No… sounds to… ghoulish. I need it to be professional. I’m being recorded. This will be in the history books, my last words. It has to sound… like I’m still in command going down fighting. A hero to the last. My windscreen is broken and I… no. Windscreens don’t explode, or just break they… implode. Imploded. My windscreen has imploded. Jacksonville Center, November 428 Delta Charlie, my windscreen has imploded and… hmmmm. And… and I’m bleeding… how am I bleeding? Glass… everywhere. Cut… jugular. What’s the word? Prolifically? Protagonist? Pro… fusely. Profusely. Jacksonville Center, November 428 Delta Charlie, my windscreen has imploded and I’m bleeding profusely. Yes… yes… that’s it.”
“What in the world are you doing in there?”
“Nothing!”
“You know, I can’t find the map book anywhere and your wife’s attorney was calling earlier and… hey, what happened?”
“Nothing. I just cut myself shaving, that’s all.”

…when rescuers reached his crashed aircraft, they found “evidence including a book of campsites in America missing its pages on Alabama and Florida, and a bullet-point list scribbled on the back of a book that read: ‘cracked windshield, window imploded, bleeding profusely’.”

Fake plane death businessman left SOS bullet-point list [The Register]

Comments (10)

  1. Posted by guest | January 20, 2009 at 3:28 PM

    dude is such a dumbass!

  2. Posted by guest | January 20, 2009 at 3:31 PM

    EP, your work rate is prolific today.

  3. Posted by guest | January 20, 2009 at 3:33 PM

    man that chick really screams IN or KY huh?

  4. Posted by guest | January 20, 2009 at 3:33 PM

    hehe..you don’t mess with the zohan!

  5. Posted by guest | January 20, 2009 at 3:34 PM

    Classic. Leave your notes on how your plan to fake your suicide in the ditched aircraft. HOW did this guy fool so many people? Did he drug them?

  6. Posted by guest | January 20, 2009 at 3:38 PM

    and the NY Post found his mistress, who he was with right before his crash:
    http://www.nypost.com/seven/01192009/news/nationalnews/on_the_wings_of_lust_150819.htm

  7. Posted by guest | January 20, 2009 at 3:46 PM

    Doing dougnuts in the field? what a hick. I bet he was a mastermind and this was all going to work out. “Don’t worry honey, I have the perfect plan…” What a tool.

  8. Posted by guest | January 20, 2009 at 4:22 PM

    EP, I’ve got to ask..mile high club?

  9. Posted by guest | January 20, 2009 at 5:02 PM

    That’s like the woman who hid her gambling habit from her family until she couldn’t afford to pay the house bills, food, etc. She killed herself and left a note apologizing for the debt, and let her husband and son know that the life insurance she had would cover the debt. She didn’t read the fine print that excluded death benefit payout in the event of a suicide!!! What a crying shame…

  10. Posted by guest | January 20, 2009 at 5:05 PM

    EP, it looks like you finished your “How To Properly Escape Capture Following Your Massive (or Relatively Massive) Financial Fraud: A Dealbreaker Guide” too early.

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