Via proxy! While we can’t get you up in Bernie Madoff’s grill (yet), we are offering Dealbreaker readers the opportunity to ask one of the Ponz. Master’s minions, “WTF were you thinking?” or something along those lines. Here’s the deal: a friend of DB, who is an investor in one of the Madoff feeder funds, is meeting with his firm in the near future, mostly to discuss them losing all his money. But he’s also graciously offered to pose any questions you people might have, time permitting. We won’t name the fund, on the off-chance they put 2 and 2 together, though you can probably guess. We’ll take the five best questions and forward them on (and provide a full report with Q’s and A’s once we have them). Real queries should be e-mailed here, ones that will categorically not be asked left in comments (to protect our devoted investor from inadvertent disclosure).
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- Use the Bloomberg command
NH BLG_DEALBREAKER <GO>
to access Dealbreaker
Was any of it ever real, or was it a scam from the get-go?
@1 – Reading comprehension – ur doin it rong.
Gosh, Erin Burnett looks great today.
Write question here = dull enough for a Ponz
Why does Walter Noel refer to his 5 horses as his daughters?
Q)Looking back at everything don’t you wish you had moved the corporate offices to a non extradition country?
Q)Will you formulate your defense around your wife masterminding the entire thing so you can walk…on the beach with some fresh snapper?
Q)If you could be a tree what kind of tree would you be?
Teach me?
Two words: Independent Audit.
Ever heard of them ?
WIDECLOPS: a retrospective
@5….spectacular.
@11….weak
How would you distinguish between someone who can talk the talk and someone who can walk the walk?
Has Mr. Madoff decided if he would prefer buttsex or tossing salads?
-Persy Pommeroy – convict #41144
@12…..nutmilk does your body bad. even my own on your husband’s face.
Long time listener, first time caller…
What is this WIDECLOPS shit? has it ever been funny?
@16
It’s funny ALL the time.
If the moon was made of Spare Ribs, would you eat it? I know I would…..
How could a Jew do something like this to other Jews?
longtime firstime as well, whats with all the wearwolf chatter?
Please describe the Made-off approach to equine insemination ala Noel. Thanks.
@20 too spanish, didn’t inquisite
-the BAC Lycan
Are the Lycans good or bad, I’m confused…
@ 6 FTW
KY or Astroglide?
Tits, or GTFO? See that works as a question too.
I think they are like derivatives, ask Greenspan
@7- Your third question; Phil Purcell was asked that question late August of 1995. He looked at the person in complete confusion not knowing what to make of it. And with a quirky smile on his face he responded, “I’m not sure, I’ve never really thought about it.”
True story. Just wanted to name drop.
And I highly recommend the DABA Bitches website (even though they keep deleting all my posts. for the record, I have been “first” on the majority of those stories). Nut-Meg and Laney Faney Moe Maney collect and publish stories of sexually frustrated women who can’t get their dildo on due to a pull back in economic growth. DABA Bitches are hopeful the stimulus package coming through will be deep enough to hit the growth spot. Spa treatments and facials have been on hold and DABA Bitches will have non of that. “We want our facials and we want them now.”
SPODE
How many times do you think Bernie has watched Shawshank since he’s been under house arrest?
@27 maybe they need to create a central clearinghouse for the Lycans where they can give them haircuts
@30 too fluid, couldn’t repo
-the other IT guy
DABA is just a poor (wo)man’s LSO
I would ask Peter Madoff if he was aware that nothing puts a bigger smile on my face then knowing his only son died a horrible painful death. Cancerrrrrrific !!!
Just checked wikipedia and I think this explains both the extent of the current reccession and how it was able to spread across the globe so quickly:
Their bite releases an enzyme that carries Lycan DNA, which can agressively overtake a normal human’s physiology, causing them to become a Lycan as well.
Unlike Vampires though, Lycans possess the ability to crawl along walls and ceilings at a very fast pace for extended periods of time. This also allows Lycans to be able to scale tall walls and barriers with ease.
@28… They’re hillarious, and they keep deleting all my posts too. WTF is that shit?
Still operating….by the Madoff’s….I want in……I have some extra cash, is the fund still open for new customers?
What REALLY happens on all those fishing trips with your sons?
I would ask Peter Madoff if he was aware that nothing puts a bigger smile on my face then knowing his only son died a horrible painful death. Cancerrrrrrific !!!
@34
Sounds like they need to make AVP3: Alien vs. Predator vs. Lycan. Or AVPVL.
@34 are you implying that paulson would have been right about the subprime problem being contained, if not for the lychen’s ability to “crawl along walls and ceilings at a very fast pace for extended periods of time”
@40
I think he meant it was contained on the planet earth
hank should have to keep bernie company until the fake heart attack
What can I do about this horrible backne?
stone or sponge?
Do you still have your fore skin
Are you still accepting money from new investors?
@Spode, @ 35
Atleast they deleted yours. They modified mine and posted it to remove swears and me ripping on their vegtable lasagne FBFs. Ha, I must not have been the only one because their latest note was directed at these two phenomena. So incredibly weak. All I told them was the truth:
THEIR BOYFRIENDS ARE FUCKING PUSSIES
I mean, their descriptions just made them out to seem like serious vags.
-Harry Caray
what other magic tricks do you do?
He’s meeting with the feeder fund right? So he’s not gonna be asking Madoff or his firm any questions right?
right, rocket scientist@49.
got any stock tips?
46, you are my fucking hero!
How many yachts can you water-ski behind? How much is enough?
too Bernie – couldn’t get off
What kind of idiot would think that he wouldn’t get caught?
Why Rockland county?
QAE30C Major thanks for the article post.Really thank you! Really Cool.