*PERSON FAMILIAR WITH SEC INQUIRIES DECLINES TO IDENTIFY MANAGER
*SEC SAID TO OPEN NEW PONZI-SCHEME PROBES IN WAKE OF MADOFF CASE
*SEC SAID TO PROBE MANAGER SUSPECTED OF $1 BILLION PONZI SCHEME
Surely there are many scams besides Madoff going on, and the paradoxically named Chris Cox did tell us we were going to see those skeletons wash ashore, but I’m mildly amused by the idea of the SEC coming in and in an attempt to prove it is neither incompetent nor irrelevant, not only shutting down, like hundreds of fraudulent firms, but also throwing in a few legit ones (let us know which ones you’d like to be considered) for good measure.* Additionally worth it, entertainment wise, would be for them to go corrupt cop on us and rough up a few big names just to keep everyone honest, since the whole idea of them policing shit with competence and integrity was clearly a bit of a fool’s mission (to keep it legal, Cox will hold a press conference tomorrow forewarning everyone that “the next firm to go Ponzi on us will be looking at the business end of a broom stick up its ass.”)** In any event, I you should probably ahead and guess the next Madoff now.
Earlier: We Have To Be Able To Laugh About This Stuff
*Only those offering to tattoo Chris Cox’s name on their asses will be spared.
**We have it on good authority that Larry Robbins is going to be roughed up in a Hooters parking lot tonight, not because he’s necessarily done anything wrong, but because the SEC is in “we’ll show you, WE’LL SHOW ALL OF YOU!!!” mode.
Hm…who do we know who manages only $1B?
SAC in 1995?
The massage enthusiast perhaps? Always very vague about the money he supposedly manages, doesn’t really have any sort of infrastructure yet still maintains a lifestyle that blows away Madoffs.
does it rhyme with shitadel?
Pretty soon this whole Ponzi thing is gonna be discredited as a business model…
Whatever you want to call it…it’s about goddamn time someone got off their asses (Congress) and looked into what Chris Cox and the SEC have been doing, or who they have been diddlin for his (Cox) tenure. Good Luck….it probably will prove to be a waste. Congress is so busy you know, trying to figure out what their job is.
@3
Does anyone actually know Epstein’s AUM, # of clients, performance, or any other remotely interesting information?
come on. it’s not epstein.
Yeah, the other SEC had a much better year.
CALPERS?
Anal_yst, #3 here. That’s exactly my point. Personal issues aside, nobody seems to know anything concrete about his business yet his expenses must run at least 8 figures a year.
Companies with $1 bil AUM (this just from Google searching, don’t know these guys at all)
Algebra Capital
http://www.cpifinancial.net/v2/news.aspx?v=1&aid=107&sec=Results
New Stream capital
http://www.reuters.com/article/pressRelease/idUS204415+07-Aug-2008+MW20080807
Newport Pacific
http://www.allbusiness.com/banking-finance/financial-markets-investing-investment/7159184-1.html
Rexiter Capital
http://www.allbusiness.com/banking-finance/financial-markets-investing-funds/5587513-1.html
Advanced Investment Partners
http://www.tmcnet.com/usubmit/2004/apr/1036372.htm
“Little is known or said about Epstein’s business except this: He manages money for the extremely wealthy. He is said to handle accounts only of $1 billion or greater.
It has been estimated he has roughly 15 clients, but their identities are the subject of only speculation. All except for one: Leslie Wexner, founder of The Limited retail chain and a former Palm Beacher who is said to have been a mentor to Epstein. ”
and
http://www.portfolio.com/views/blogs/market-movers/2008/07/02/jeffrey-epstein-and-the-private-banking-industry
personally, I think Epstein is a high-end pimp and possibly dealer. No other reason anyone needs his super-discreet services.
Whatever it is that he does (assuming he actually does anything at all), I want to do, like asap, that’s all I know. Lesson learned though, always carry a wireless ID scanner.
#12. You are a complete moron.
Man, those pearly whites have got to be fake.
“Additionally worth it, entertainment wise, would be for them to go corrupt cop on us and rough up a few big names just to keep everyone honest, since the whole idea of them policing shit with competence and integrity was clearly a bit of a fool’s mission (to keep it legal, Cox will hold a press conference tomorrow forewarning everyone that “the next firm to go Ponzi on us will be looking at the business end of a broom stick up its ass.”)**
**We have it on good authority that Larry Robbins is going to be roughed up in a Hooters parking lot tonight, not because he’s necessarily done anything wrong, but because the SEC is in “we’ll show you, WE’LL SHOW ALL OF YOU!!!” mode.”
this post makes me excited for db to be back from vacation status on monday.
@17- it’s less the fact that they’re so white and more that they look like fucking chicklets.
That is sort of funny that SEC would say it found a $1 billion Ponzi fund without identifying it, basically putting them all into question.
@19
Now that’s a headline image: SEC bitch stuck to Cox.
I told the bitch to swallow not chew!
UP FOR THE YEAR, MARK IT BITCHES!!
GS=Madoff Scheme
Ponzi is so 1920.
I find his strange upper lip (or lack thereof) more peculiar than his chicklets.
@24: ditto
@24
Dude, after paying for the chicklet implants he needed the upper lip plastic surgery to show em off.
Larry Robbins…any relation to Tom Robbins?
Wait till the SEC gets a look at the books for social security, we’ll be refering to it as a Roosevelt scheme from that point on.
@27- larry robbins = glenview founder.
Guaran-fuckin’-teed this twerk was a harelip growin’ up.
Said it before and I’ll say it again: if ever there was a face asking for a shovel to be smashed into it, it’s his.
Teeth are likely caps, but judging from the lack of space between teeth, a crown
My uncle Sam is running some type of scam.
I lost a billion too, can I take if off my taxes?
How about Superfund? I loved the quote from Baha: “Why shouldn’t everyone be able to make above average returns in any market?” Umm…. because of the laws of simple arithmetic??
http://nakedshorts.typepad.com/nakedshorts/2006/03/another_load_of.html
No way Epstein is legit. Was he managing the portfolios from jail?
Those are definitely veneers; my sister has the same ones.
@36
surname, Noel?
Tom Petters already covered the Midewst for $3.5 bilion. Solid scam, yet mostly unreported by the east coast media. Ever wonder how Polaroid managed to make it after, y’know, digital technology, they didn’t along with others. Only gets a silver in ’08 though. What’s the over/under on the ACTUAL $ Madoff investor loss count? I say $30billion
Tom Petters… so funny you should bring him & Polaroid up
looked at a Petters co. named “Zink”– “zero ink”, film for printers, cameras, mobile phones, legacy team from polaroid. when the background checks came back on those guys, they were dirty_as_fuck– SEC charges on ponzi-type shit, convoluted relationships between legal entities/PE shop/portflio cos., and much more. very, very boiler-room… i believe some chinese film shop ultimately took the bait. the erstwhile Bob White was the main dirtbag…
another incompetent republican….shocking….
heckuva job coxsucker – thank God the market survived madoff regardless
@40 What untl you are sucking black jizzum and tell us how bad the reps are
@41
Darling facist bully-boy, Give me some
more money, you bastard. May the seed of
your loin be fruitful in the belly of our
woman.
Niel.
All the hedge funds are the first to cry about the SEC not properly regulating things so they lost all their money to Madoff. As in 2005, the SEC will reintroduce the Advisers Act rule this year requiring most fund to register with the SEC (already in the works from what I hear), this time with Congressional backing. And who will be the first to cry about unfair regulations? You guessed it . . . hedge funds!
@41
You must be one of those frightened folk from the burbs. Take a look at this I’m sure you’ll identify with it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zqh6Ap9ldTs
@42 – You must be BORED, BORED, BORED!!!
– Vyvyan