Seriously, Dennis Kneale?

Picture 522.pngWe've resisted jumping in on the "who should play Bernie and Co" in the Madoff Movie of the Week game but CNBC's Dennis Kneale has forced our hand. Spectacles suggested moments earlier on Power Lunch that the role of Bernie Madoff should go to Larry David. Larry David. One jew, any jew, I guess was his thinking but come on, Adolf, that's probably the worst pick we can think of. Gary Busey would be a better choice. Tia Tequila, even. Please scrub this great moment in anti-Semitism and, more importantly, poor casting ability from our consciousness by suggesting someone more suitable at this time. Shouldn't be hard, given the bar set by DK.

Comments

1

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 12:35PM

PRETTAY PRETTAY GOOD Bess!

2

Posted by Private , Jan 08, 2009 12:36PM

Why is there no grape pie? There's grape soda, grape jelly, and grape gum, but no grape pie? I don't get that...

3

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 12:37PM

Jerry Seinfeld

4

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 12:38PM

Totally agree - LD would be a ridiculous choice.

How about getting Ron Jeremy to have a shave, he's Jewish and likes to fuck people.

5

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 12:38PM

The cashew to peanut ratio in this post is way out of line.

6

Posted by Private , Jan 08, 2009 12:40PM

@5 yea it's very askew

7

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 12:41PM

Danny Aiello and Danny DeVito's lovechild as portrayed by Benjamin Button.

8

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 12:42PM

They look similar to me.

9

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 12:44PM

Michael Tucker (Stuart Markovitz in L.A Law.)

10

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 12:45PM

Ben Stern

11

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 12:45PM

I'm a big fan of Larry David and can't imagine him as Madoff. Since #4 stole my Ron Jeremy thunder, I say we bring Jeff Skilling out of retirement in Minnesota to play Madoff.

12

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 12:46PM

Michael Douglas IS Bernard Madoff
Meg Ryan IS Ruth Madoff

Peter Krause IS Andrew Madoff

13

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 12:46PM

Ben Stiller

14

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 12:47PM

Larry David would be a great choice, if the movie went in a satirical or parody style direction.

15

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 12:48PM

@14- which obviously it won't. david's just the only jew kneale knows.

16

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 12:50PM

Rodney Dangerfield would've made a great Bernie - RIP.

17

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 12:52PM

How about Brad Pitt?

18

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 12:54PM

@16 or RIP or whatever the fuck your name is...Rodney Dangerfield is dead! DUMBASS!

19

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 12:57PM

al from that old tv show "love and marriage"

20

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 12:57PM

@ 18....RIP means Rest in Peace....Jesus youre a retard you must have worked in the Risk Management Division of Lehman.

21

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 12:59PM

Elliot Spitzer to play Madoff - certainly could get the slimy, slithery conniving Jew part right!

Glenn Close to play Ruth - The Brains behind it all, with that perfectly made up WASPY Jewess look.

And Ben Stiller could play both "clueless" sons - he's quite good with the goofy hebe act.

22

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 1:00PM

@18, I hope you were being sarcastic. If you were, brilliant!

23

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 1:00PM

this movie is ON
Spielberg directs
Eric Roth writes screenplay
Katzenberg produces
Luke and Owen Wilson play Mark and Andy, the 2 bonefishing imbeciles
Kevin Bacon and Kyra can play Shana and her SEC husband, the token shaygitz aka the shabbos goy. Hey, they're gonna need some income

and Bernie.............Michael Caine. I know , i know the cockney accent but trust me, he can do a queens accent with a little studying
Ruthie; idunno, Joan Rivers?

24

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 1:00PM

Why stick so close to the mold? White? Jewish? You think Hollywood will stick to the real story? No, no and no.

Ad the text - "Based" on a true story, and go from there to make it good/better.

Why not Wayne Brady in the breakout role of his young life? "Is Bernie Madoff gonna hafta choke a bitch?"

-BBF

25

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 1:01PM

@18 - I hope you were being sarcastic, in which case you are a winner.

@21 - Ben Stiller could reprise his role as Simple Jack to play one of the Madoff boys!

26

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 1:04PM

@20...Wow a bite on the first cast! You are correct. I was one floor above you and the rest of the Sarcasm Awareness Division.

27

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 1:05PM

This is a no brainer.

Jeffrey Tambor as Bernie.
Jessica Walter as Ruth.

28

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 1:05PM

@26 there wasnt a Sarcasm Awareness Division at Lehman you IDIOT!

29

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 1:10PM

Anyone have first year associate numbers at Lehman Sarcasm Awareness Division?

30

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 1:10PM

please... no more madoff. I cant listen to these idiots i work with talk about anymore. Just Stop.

31

Posted by Seaman Bodine , Jan 08, 2009 1:13PM

Kirk Lazaras

32

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 1:14PM

1st Year Associate Lehman Sarcasm Awareness Division: 1,200 shares in Madoff Securities and free wine at McSorley's

33

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 1:15PM

Melissa Lee

34

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 1:15PM

Nice work @18/@26. @20 can now go back to the Yahoo! boards.

35

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 1:15PM

To add to #27,

Markopolos, the whistle blower, could be played by Jason Bateman.

36

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 1:16PM

@21 here’s an idea- Madoff is played by Ben Kingsley (with beard and wig) and all you other Wall Street assholes who ALSO fucked us can be played by the monkeys from “Gorillas in the Mist”.

37

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 1:16PM

I do not know much, but Mad Money host?

38

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 1:16PM

@20 lol trolled

39

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 1:19PM

christopher walken=bernie. end of discussion.

40

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 1:21PM

christopher reeves=bernie. end of discussion.

41

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 1:21PM

We should probably stick with the hellenic for Markopolos being played by melina kanakaredes...

42

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 1:22PM

Ben Stein makes a great Bernie-M, proving that evolution (the theory only, of course) and GS are responsible for bernie-m.- any int. designed society with any awareness of that very "fact" would have surely expelled such misbehavior...

43

Posted by Anal_yst , Jan 08, 2009 1:23PM

F. Murray Abraham, absolute look-alike

45

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 1:29PM

@37 - you are correct. You do not know much. Thanks for playing.

46

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 1:30PM

Lenny Kravitz

47

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 1:30PM

at first i was opposed. michael douglas is too "movie star" to play bernie, but.......imagine him and glenn close reuniting for this as bernie and ruthie?
they would scare the hell out of people!

48

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 1:30PM

david byrne (talking heads)

49

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 1:31PM

Bernie Mac

50

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 1:33PM

@45 - it's possible that @37 could be another one of these sarcastic types. Just guessing...

51

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 1:33PM

@49 Mac is dead go back to redtube idiot

52

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 1:34PM

Mickey Rourke as Madoff, and the guy the staples a 5 dollar bill to his head as his wife.

53

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 1:36PM

ahnald scwhazneagger

54

Posted by Anal_yst , Jan 08, 2009 1:36PM

@44

Just find a happier picture

http://www.imgartists.com/resources/artists/abraham_f_murray.jpg

Throw in a few xanax for that 'aloof/smug' look Bernie's got down pat and you're money!

55

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 1:37PM

@47: brilliant with Glenn Close.

Bernie Boils Bunny.

56

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 1:39PM

The movie should have Dennis Hopper in it. I don't know what role he would play. He just should be in it.

57

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 1:40PM

@51 duh

58

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 1:41PM

@54: FMA is too erudite. Whenever he is in something, you can see how smart he is. I totally had a crush on him after "Amadeus" - he seemed 2x as worthy as Wolfy. He is substance.

M.Douglas, however, is not that bright but he IS calculating, which is how I see Bernie: somewhat smart but not too much so, and highly calculating. All surface. Just like Bernie.

59

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 1:41PM

Kevin Bacon.

60

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 1:41PM

The movie should have Dennis Hopper in it. I don't know what role he would play. He just should be in it.

61

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 1:41PM

Rosie O'Donnell would be a boss ass Madoff

62

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 1:42PM

oh come on--- Jack Nic plays Madoff

Wife played by Streep

63

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 1:43PM

The movie should have Dennis Hopper in it. I don't know what role he would play. He just should be in it.

64

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 1:44PM

Martin Sheen might be able to pull it off

65

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 1:44PM

Annabel Vartanian as Ruth Madoff.

66

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 1:45PM

Nicholson can have it as long as he lson can have it as long as he doesn't climb into a hot tub with an old naked fat chick

67

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 1:47PM

Bob barker. total confidence man.

68

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 1:48PM

kurt. russell.

69

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 1:52PM

@68 - your.mom.

70

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 1:53PM

@65 -- wtf

71

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 2:04PM

Duh...Bernie plays himself and his pay goes to victims. He clearly has mad acting skills...

72

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 2:05PM

Oh, come on people! Kevin Pollak is a total ringer for Madoff. He's definitely the guy.

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001629/

73

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 2:07PM

@72 Winner!

74

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 2:15PM

DeNiro. C'mon, this is a huge part -- can't give it to Kevin Pollack just because he's a ringer! Italians play Jewish all the time. Imagine deNiro as ingratiating, scary, mystical. Works for me!

75

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 2:19PM

Gary Coleman

76

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 2:23PM

Funniest line goes to @23 for his "bone-fishing imbeciles" quote.

77

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 2:25PM

@27 FTW

"I might have committed some light Ponzi scheming"

78

Posted by e_anthony58 , Jan 08, 2009 2:31PM

Dennis Kneale.

They both got the same smirk.

79

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 2:32PM

OBVIOUSLY it should be the guy who plays Larry's Dad on Curb.

[once he smokes enough weed to get rid of the glaucoma, turns to the hooker and says]

SHE'S A SCHWARTZA!!?

80

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 2:43PM

Will Smith, wikki wikki wild wild west

81

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 2:47PM

Aleskey Vayner should play Bernie

82

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 2:50PM

Alan Greenspan

83

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 2:51PM

Mark Haines

84

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 2:52PM

@73 = big bucket of suck.

85

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 2:52PM

in all honesty, it's gotta be Alec Baldwin.

86

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 2:54PM

Annabel Vartanian

87

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 2:57PM

Walter Matthau....is he still alive?

88

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 2:59PM

72 has it...This ain't gonna be a major motion pic with Nicholsons or DeNiros...a Network pitch which makes Pollak perfect.

89

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 3:07PM

if it were network you are right but i think this goes major motion picture. I think jack rolls in this with streep. it doesnt mean Law & Order wont use it.

90

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 3:09PM

This goes goes major motion pict. Nic will totally have it.

I bet you see it on TV with Law & Order.

yes retard Walter is sleepin with the fishes...

91

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 3:10PM

This goes major motion pict. Nic will totally have it.

I bet you see it on TV as a Law & Order plot.

yes retard Walter is sleepin with the fishes...

92

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 3:10PM

This goes major motion pict. Nic will totally have it.

I bet you see it on TV as a Law & Order plot.

yes retard Walter is sleepin with the fishes...

93

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 3:13PM

@90, 91, 92, i wish u were sleepin with the fishes

94

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 3:16PM

93 fuck you. It was an accedent. Go watch your porn.

95

Posted by Last Man Standing , Jan 08, 2009 3:20PM

Over 90 post and noone thought of the most obvious:
TIMMAY
He claims he's Jewish and already has the ponzi thing going.

96

Posted by Last Man Standing , Jan 08, 2009 3:21PM

Over 90 post and noone thought of the most obvious:
TIMMAY
He claims he's Jewish and already has the ponzi thing going.

97

Posted by Last Man Standing , Jan 08, 2009 3:22PM

Over 90 post and noone thought of the most obvious:
TIMMAY
He claims he's Jewish and already has the ponzi thing going.

98

Posted by Last Man Standing , Jan 08, 2009 3:28PM

Sorry for the triple post. Trying this from the crackberry after being locked out of DB

99

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 3:36PM

Dustin Hoffman of course

100

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 3:38PM

@78 I totally agree. They asked for people to email them who should play. Right away Dennis popped into my head. If you put a baseball cap on his head and dye his hair gray then they would look pretty similar!

101

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 3:43PM

@78 I totally agree. They asked for people to email them who should play. Right away Dennis popped into my head. If you put a baseball cap on his head and dye his hair gray then they would look pretty similar!

102

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 3:50PM

@78 I totally agree. They asked for people to email them who should play. Right away Dennis popped into my head. If you put a baseball cap on his head and dye his hair gray then they would look pretty similar!

103

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 3:50PM

OK I'm on the FMA bandwagon as well...

He has that "smug because I'm insecure" air to him...

104

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 3:56PM

there's nothing anti-semitic about suggesting larry david to play madoff. the accusation is extremely lame, and lays bare bess' lack of a sense of humor or satire or irony. lame post.

105

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 3:58PM

@94, go buy a dictionary

106

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 4:06PM

Looks wise, I definitely think that Michael Douglas should play Madoff. As for his wife, Merrill Streep and Glenn Close are both WAY to classy. Joan Rivers would be a much better fit.

107

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 4:08PM

Wesley Snipes.

108

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 4:08PM

Wesley Snipes. Bernie. Always bet on Bernie.

109

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 4:09PM

Bernie. Always Bet on Bernie.

110

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 5:00PM

Tony Curtis and Kirk Douglas a la Sparticus. No I'm Bernie, I'm Bernie.

111

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 5:30PM

Michael "half-a-MOT" Douglas for Bernie... but give some meth to Meg Ryan and she *is* Ruth

112

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 5:37PM

John McCain as Bernie.

Blonde bombshell David Duke as Ruthie.

Terrell Owens and Brooke Shields as the sons.

And Walter Cronkite as Adam Shapiro of Fox Business News - they are both asleep at the switch.

The real question is, who plays all of us posters here on dealbreaker?

113

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 5:58PM

@112 - Simple. 200 Dead monkeys:

http://www.ilikemonkeys.org/index.shtml

114

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 6:30PM

Cheryl Hines (from Curb) as Ruth. Dennis Hoffman as Bernie.

115

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 7:59PM

JT Walsh would have been perfect RIP

Maybe some CGI could make that happen

116

Posted by NotNasser , Jan 08, 2009 8:31PM

If he has no more anti-Darwin movies on his "to do" list: Ben Stein.

Can't you just hear hin calling his sons into his office for that fateful showdown?

"Bueller A? Bueller B?"

117

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 9:13PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fAkd9aJjrHo


HOLY MOTHERFUCKING CAPS LOCKS!!!!!!

OAKLAND POLICE SHOOT AN UNARMED MAN IN HANDCUFFS ON NEW YEARS EVE!!!!

HOW IS THIS NOT EVENING NEWS???

118

Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 9:14PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fAkd9aJjrHo

CAN'T BELIEVE THE SHIT WAS CAUGHT ON CAMERA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

119

Posted by guest , Jan 11, 2009 12:12AM

Richard Lewis

120

Posted by guest , Jan 11, 2009 11:14AM

Al Pacino = Bernie
Diane Keaton = Mrs Bernie
Director = Woody Allen
Set Designer = Santo Loquasto
Script = Estate of Mario Puzo

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