We’ve resisted jumping in on the “who should play Bernie and Co” in the Madoff Movie of the Week game but CNBC’s Dennis Kneale has forced our hand. Spectacles suggested moments earlier on Power Lunch that the role of Bernie Madoff should go to Larry David. Larry David. One jew, any jew, I guess was his thinking but come on, Adolf, that’s probably the worst pick we can think of. Gary Busey would be a better choice. Tia Tequila, even. Please scrub this great moment in anti-Semitism and, more importantly, poor casting ability from our consciousness by suggesting someone more suitable at this time. Shouldn’t be hard, given the bar set by DK.
— Advertisement —
Comments (117)
Leave a comment
You can log in with your account or comment as a guest below.

PRETTAY PRETTAY GOOD Bess!
Why is there no grape pie? There’s grape soda, grape jelly, and grape gum, but no grape pie? I don’t get that…
Jerry Seinfeld
Totally agree – LD would be a ridiculous choice.
How about getting Ron Jeremy to have a shave, he’s Jewish and likes to fuck people.
The cashew to peanut ratio in this post is way out of line.
@5 yea it’s very askew
Danny Aiello and Danny DeVito’s lovechild as portrayed by Benjamin Button.
They look similar to me.
Michael Tucker (Stuart Markovitz in L.A Law.)
Ben Stern
I’m a big fan of Larry David and can’t imagine him as Madoff. Since #4 stole my Ron Jeremy thunder, I say we bring Jeff Skilling out of retirement in Minnesota to play Madoff.
Michael Douglas IS Bernard Madoff
Meg Ryan IS Ruth Madoff
Peter Krause IS Andrew Madoff
Ben Stiller
Larry David would be a great choice, if the movie went in a satirical or parody style direction.
@14- which obviously it won’t. david’s just the only jew kneale knows.
Rodney Dangerfield would’ve made a great Bernie – RIP.
How about Brad Pitt?
@16 or RIP or whatever the fuck your name is…Rodney Dangerfield is dead! DUMBASS!
al from that old tv show “love and marriage”
@ 18….RIP means Rest in Peace….Jesus youre a retard you must have worked in the Risk Management Division of Lehman.
Elliot Spitzer to play Madoff – certainly could get the slimy, slithery conniving Jew part right!
Glenn Close to play Ruth – The Brains behind it all, with that perfectly made up WASPY Jewess look.
And Ben Stiller could play both “clueless” sons – he’s quite good with the goofy hebe act.
@18, I hope you were being sarcastic. If you were, brilliant!
this movie is ON
Spielberg directs
Eric Roth writes screenplay
Katzenberg produces
Luke and Owen Wilson play Mark and Andy, the 2 bonefishing imbeciles
Kevin Bacon and Kyra can play Shana and her SEC husband, the token shaygitz aka the shabbos goy. Hey, they’re gonna need some income
and Bernie………….Michael Caine. I know , i know the cockney accent but trust me, he can do a queens accent with a little studying
Ruthie; idunno, Joan Rivers?
Why stick so close to the mold? White? Jewish? You think Hollywood will stick to the real story? No, no and no.
Ad the text – “Based” on a true story, and go from there to make it good/better.
Why not Wayne Brady in the breakout role of his young life? “Is Bernie Madoff gonna hafta choke a bitch?”
-BBF
@18 – I hope you were being sarcastic, in which case you are a winner.
@21 – Ben Stiller could reprise his role as Simple Jack to play one of the Madoff boys!
@20…Wow a bite on the first cast! You are correct. I was one floor above you and the rest of the Sarcasm Awareness Division.
This is a no brainer.
Jeffrey Tambor as Bernie.
Jessica Walter as Ruth.
@26 there wasnt a Sarcasm Awareness Division at Lehman you IDIOT!
Anyone have first year associate numbers at Lehman Sarcasm Awareness Division?
please… no more madoff. I cant listen to these idiots i work with talk about anymore. Just Stop.
Kirk Lazaras
1st Year Associate Lehman Sarcasm Awareness Division: 1,200 shares in Madoff Securities and free wine at McSorley’s
Melissa Lee
Nice work @18/@26. @20 can now go back to the Yahoo! boards.
To add to #27,
Markopolos, the whistle blower, could be played by Jason Bateman.
@21 here’s an idea- Madoff is played by Ben Kingsley (with beard and wig) and all you other Wall Street assholes who ALSO fucked us can be played by the monkeys from “Gorillas in the Mist”.
I do not know much, but Mad Money host?
@20 lol trolled
christopher walken=bernie. end of discussion.
christopher reeves=bernie. end of discussion.
We should probably stick with the hellenic for Markopolos being played by melina kanakaredes…
Ben Stein makes a great Bernie-M, proving that evolution (the theory only, of course) and GS are responsible for bernie-m.- any int. designed society with any awareness of that very “fact” would have surely expelled such misbehavior…
F. Murray Abraham, absolute look-alike
@43: No way
http://www.nndb.com/people/123/000024051/fma.jpg
I’m sticking with Michael Douglas:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/da/Michael_Douglas_Navy3.jpg
@37 – you are correct. You do not know much. Thanks for playing.
Lenny Kravitz
at first i was opposed. michael douglas is too “movie star” to play bernie, but…….imagine him and glenn close reuniting for this as bernie and ruthie?
they would scare the hell out of people!
david byrne (talking heads)
Bernie Mac
@45 – it’s possible that @37 could be another one of these sarcastic types. Just guessing…
@49 Mac is dead go back to redtube idiot
Mickey Rourke as Madoff, and the guy the staples a 5 dollar bill to his head as his wife.
ahnald scwhazneagger
@44
Just find a happier picture
http://www.imgartists.com/resources/artists/abraham_f_murray.jpg
Throw in a few xanax for that ‘aloof/smug’ look Bernie’s got down pat and you’re money!
@47: brilliant with Glenn Close.
Bernie Boils Bunny.
The movie should have Dennis Hopper in it. I don’t know what role he would play. He just should be in it.
@51 duh
@54: FMA is too erudite. Whenever he is in something, you can see how smart he is. I totally had a crush on him after “Amadeus” – he seemed 2x as worthy as Wolfy. He is substance.
M.Douglas, however, is not that bright but he IS calculating, which is how I see Bernie: somewhat smart but not too much so, and highly calculating. All surface. Just like Bernie.
Kevin Bacon.
Rosie O’Donnell would be a boss ass Madoff
oh come on— Jack Nic plays Madoff
Wife played by Streep
The movie should have Dennis Hopper in it. I don’t know what role he would play. He just should be in it.
Martin Sheen might be able to pull it off
Annabel Vartanian as Ruth Madoff.
Nicholson can have it as long as he lson can have it as long as he doesn’t climb into a hot tub with an old naked fat chick
Bob barker. total confidence man.
kurt. russell.
@68 – your.mom.
@65 — wtf
Duh…Bernie plays himself and his pay goes to victims. He clearly has mad acting skills…
Oh, come on people! Kevin Pollak is a total ringer for Madoff. He’s definitely the guy.
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001629/
@72 Winner!
DeNiro. C’mon, this is a huge part — can’t give it to Kevin Pollack just because he’s a ringer! Italians play Jewish all the time. Imagine deNiro as ingratiating, scary, mystical. Works for me!
Gary Coleman
Funniest line goes to @23 for his “bone-fishing imbeciles” quote.
@27 FTW
“I might have committed some light Ponzi scheming”
Dennis Kneale.
They both got the same smirk.
OBVIOUSLY it should be the guy who plays Larry’s Dad on Curb.
[once he smokes enough weed to get rid of the glaucoma, turns to the hooker and says]
SHE’S A SCHWARTZA!!?
Will Smith, wikki wikki wild wild west
Aleskey Vayner should play Bernie
Alan Greenspan
Mark Haines
@73 = big bucket of suck.
in all honesty, it’s gotta be Alec Baldwin.
Annabel Vartanian
Walter Matthau….is he still alive?
72 has it…This ain’t gonna be a major motion pic with Nicholsons or DeNiros…a Network pitch which makes Pollak perfect.
if it were network you are right but i think this goes major motion picture. I think jack rolls in this with streep. it doesnt mean Law & Order wont use it.
This goes goes major motion pict. Nic will totally have it.
I bet you see it on TV with Law & Order.
yes retard Walter is sleepin with the fishes…
This goes major motion pict. Nic will totally have it.
I bet you see it on TV as a Law & Order plot.
yes retard Walter is sleepin with the fishes…
This goes major motion pict. Nic will totally have it.
I bet you see it on TV as a Law & Order plot.
yes retard Walter is sleepin with the fishes…
@90, 91, 92, i wish u were sleepin with the fishes
93 fuck you. It was an accedent. Go watch your porn.
Over 90 post and noone thought of the most obvious:
TIMMAY
He claims he’s Jewish and already has the ponzi thing going.
Over 90 post and noone thought of the most obvious:
TIMMAY
He claims he’s Jewish and already has the ponzi thing going.
Over 90 post and noone thought of the most obvious:
TIMMAY
He claims he’s Jewish and already has the ponzi thing going.
Sorry for the triple post. Trying this from the crackberry after being locked out of DB
Dustin Hoffman of course
@78 I totally agree. They asked for people to email them who should play. Right away Dennis popped into my head. If you put a baseball cap on his head and dye his hair gray then they would look pretty similar!
@78 I totally agree. They asked for people to email them who should play. Right away Dennis popped into my head. If you put a baseball cap on his head and dye his hair gray then they would look pretty similar!
OK I’m on the FMA bandwagon as well…
He has that “smug because I’m insecure” air to him…
there’s nothing anti-semitic about suggesting larry david to play madoff. the accusation is extremely lame, and lays bare bess’ lack of a sense of humor or satire or irony. lame post.
@94, go buy a dictionary
Wesley Snipes.
Wesley Snipes. Bernie. Always bet on Bernie.
Bernie. Always Bet on Bernie.
Tony Curtis and Kirk Douglas a la Sparticus. No I’m Bernie, I’m Bernie.
Michael “half-a-MOT” Douglas for Bernie… but give some meth to Meg Ryan and she *is* Ruth
John McCain as Bernie.
Blonde bombshell David Duke as Ruthie.
Terrell Owens and Brooke Shields as the sons.
And Walter Cronkite as Adam Shapiro of Fox Business News – they are both asleep at the switch.
The real question is, who plays all of us posters here on dealbreaker?
@112 – Simple. 200 Dead monkeys:
http://www.ilikemonkeys.org/index.shtml
Cheryl Hines (from Curb) as Ruth. Dennis Hoffman as Bernie.
JT Walsh would have been perfect RIP
Maybe some CGI could make that happen
If he has no more anti-Darwin movies on his “to do” list: Ben Stein.
Can’t you just hear hin calling his sons into his office for that fateful showdown?
“Bueller A? Bueller B?”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fAkd9aJjrHo
HOLY MOTHERFUCKING CAPS LOCKS!!!!!!
OAKLAND POLICE SHOOT AN UNARMED MAN IN HANDCUFFS ON NEW YEARS EVE!!!!
HOW IS THIS NOT EVENING NEWS???
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fAkd9aJjrHo
CAN’T BELIEVE THE SHIT WAS CAUGHT ON CAMERA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Richard Lewis
Al Pacino = Bernie
Diane Keaton = Mrs Bernie
Director = Woody Allen
Set Designer = Santo Loquasto
Script = Estate of Mario Puzo