He was going to have to face extradition once he healed up, but now it looks like he’ll face federal charges first. The federal charges are a bit of a bore, including intentional communication of a false distress message and willfully damaging, destroying or wrecking an aircraft (this is all you guys could come up with? Where’s the gratuitous terrorism charge? That’s a piece of cake to manage with any crime that includes an airplane!) but they are likely to stick. Hard. After that? The good graces of Indiana’s fraud cases await him.
As blind as justice is supposed to be, no one is going to be very amused and Schrenker is unlikely to catch a break. Anywhere.
Contrary to prior reports, apparently his suicide attempt was pretty credible. CNN reports that he was “bleeding so profusely when he was found that he likely would not have survived another hour without medical help.”
Timing is everything, Marcus.
Captured pilot awaits doctors’ orders [CNN]
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Stupid Marcus, slit UP not across…
anybody have the lates Citi spread?
First cut is the deepest. He didn’t try hard enough.
What a loser! Can’t even kill himself correctly. Sheesh…it isn’t that hard….
@ 3, i sue you for copyright infringement.
- Sheryl Crow
Check out the funny charts here http://wallblog.com/
WHen does Michelle get indicted?
@5 Good luck chasing me through the courts. How’s Russell?
I think he should have hung himself with razor wire, after super gluing his hands to the side of his head– that way when they found him it would look like he ripped his own head off. One last fun fraud for the road!
No one likes a failure.
Sheryl Crow? Dude, get a clue. She rented that song.
Scottish Rod and the Faces
@ 5,
I sue you for being a musical history incompetent. Lets hope your pitchbook skills are better
- Yusuf Islam (Cat Stevens)
@5 – I sue @3 AND Crow for copyright infringement!
– Rod Stewart
What is the deal with these botched suicide attempts? Don’t these people have any tall buildings around them?
@9 you owe me a new keyboard. You just forced me to spit out diet coke on my current one.
@13:
I still own the rights and I will call a jihad on your ass!
– Yusuf
Suicide is Painless
-EgretLover
@14
Forget tall buildings, the guy flew a plane…
He just chickened out to jump out sans parachute.
@16
@3 here. I’ll trade you a burial with a pig.
If we would just pay traders what they deserve they wouldn’t have to jum out of buildings or planes.
@18: good point.
So, he was going to make a run for it – parachuted out safely, went for the stashed motorcycle – and then, somehow decided it wasn’t worth it? Something is fishy because you’re right – why jump out of a plane with a parachute, only to do it the painful way hours later?
@15 Right there with you. Except I just found out that when I try to laugh quietly at my desk, I exhale through my nose.
@9 – that was one of the most sophomoric, and funniest, comments I have read in a long time. People are looking at me weird as I’m trying to laugh my ass off quietly.
Great line . . .
What a douchebag picture…trophy wife, trophy car but not an ounce of talent or morality.
Oh wait this is wall street…nevermind
sigh… what he needed to do was to slit his jugular, go out with some decisiveness and look like a man going down when his charade was over.
Now he looks like a whiney bitch, starved for attention. Is he trying to pull the sympathy card during the trial, as if the justice system made him go to such great lengths? He is surely the victim here…
One thing is missing from that trophies photo – a red motorcycle!
- and a girlfriend in Florida, but maybe that’s implicit in the photo.
@9 is funny, but not original
That is from somewhere else…