CNBC reports that an 82 year old New York State man, Richard S. Piccoli (no, we absolutely did not make that up and though there is no apparent relation to Jeff Spicoli, this will not, in any event, prevent us from posting Jeff's picture) took in at least $17 million since 2004. Apparently, he targeted the clergy. (That, we approve of heartily).
We think Jeff makes a fine poster boy for all things Ponzi, actually, after putting him up.
Brad Hamilton: Why don't you get a job Spicoli?Jeff Spicoli: What for?
Brad Hamilton: You need money.
Jeff Spicoli: All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I'm fine.
We rest our case.
In any event, seems to be that one of the messages from the latest Ponzi schemes is: Don't under any circumstances trust seniors with your money.
Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 2:48PM
"1% a month no volatility its a very safe strategy I promise"
Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 2:51PM
I'm pretty sure I can make out vag in the poster above the bong. Thanks EP!
Posted by MarshallStack , Jan 08, 2009 2:53PM
He had a check for $17 million signed by Bernie.
Hadn't got around to cashing it.
Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 2:56PM
No shirt, no shoes...noooo diiicceee!
Posted by financialmarketjim , Jan 08, 2009 2:58PM
All we need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and we're fine...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m54bAfxgYPw
Posted by Rahodeb , Jan 08, 2009 3:04PM
@4 - Right, learn it, know it, live it.
Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 3:09PM
What Jefferson was saying was, Hey! You know, we left this England place 'cause it was bogus; so if we don't get some cool rules ourselves - pronto - we'll just be bogus too! Get it?
ALL RIGHT! WAY TO GO HAMILTON!
Posted by Rahodeb , Jan 08, 2009 3:10PM
@4 - Right, learn it, know it, live it.
Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 3:13PM
Make up your mind dude, is he gonna shit or is gonna kill us?
First he's gonna shit, then he's gonna kill us!
Posted by Rahodeb , Jan 08, 2009 3:24PM
The dreaded double post. I swear I only hit the button once.
Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 3:32PM
GBAG'S GETTING SCOOPS OFF DB!!!
Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 3:33PM
nice, ep. this post is almost bess levinesque.
doesn't anybody f*cking KNOCK anymore???
Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 3:39PM
This is just out on BBerg: how is it possible hedge funds are only -18%, half of what the market is down? Are they counting Ponzi returns?
_____________________________
Hedge Funds Lost Record 18.3% as Managers Misjudged 2008 Market
Email | Print | A A A
By Saijel Kishan
Jan. 8 (Bloomberg) -- Hedge funds lost 18.3 percent in 2008, their worst year on record, as managers misjudged the severity of biggest financial crisis since the Great Depression.
A gain of 0.42 percent in December lessened the average loss for the full year, according to Hedge Fund Research Inc.’s HFRI Fund Weighted Composite Index. The decline was the most severe since the Chicago-based firm began tracking data in 1990.
“Hedge funds failed to appreciate the magnitude, breadth and duration of the declines we saw across most markets,” said Michael Rosen, principal at Angeles Investment Advisors LLC in Santa Monica, California, which advises clients on investments.
Losses and withdrawals reduced industry assets to $1.1 trillion last month from its peak of $1.9 trillion in June, according to Morgan Stanley. Firms such as Dwight Anderson’s Ospraie Management LLC and Jeffrey Gendell’s Tontine Associates LLC closed funds, while Paul Tudor Jones’ Tudor Investment Corp. and Ken Griffin’s Citadel Investment Group LLC were among those to limit the money that investors could withdraw after losses.
Hedge funds are private, largely unregulated pools of capital whose managers can buy or sell any assets, bet on falling as well as rising asset prices and participate substantially in profits from money invested.
Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 3:43PM
I know that dude....
Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 3:47PM
Well, thousands of Ponzi scams are small time operations run by self-proclaimed "financial advisors" who are really con men. And most don't get caught. True or false?
Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 3:50PM
"What are you people? On dope?!"
-Mr. Hand
Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 3:50PM
Wow, lost my job. What do I do now? I feel so utterly worthless and I feel like I lost so much. The shame is unreal. I felt like it would never happen to me, ha, but it did. Any advice? (other than hollow points. . .)
-Laid the Fuck Off
Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 3:53PM
@EP: I'm pretty certain that Spicoli said "buds" not "buzz"
Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 3:55PM
@17
don't tie your entire self worth into your next job like you did with this one.
Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 3:57PM
@17, become a tv repairman. First get yourself an ultimate set of tools.
Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 3:57PM
@17: B of A/MER?
I can only say "smile and dial". It took me 5 months but I got a new place. Called every person I knew, friends of my folks, friends of my friends' folks, every headhunter, you name it. Informational interviews, etc. etc.
Best advice I can give is DON'T "take off time" - just get right into it, get up early - act like it is a job, because it is. A full-time job to find something else.
Good luck, and remember - it is not a matter of IF you get another job: it is just a matter of WHEN.
Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 4:01PM
Aloha, Mr. Hand
Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 4:02PM
@17 3words : Wall Street Mercenary
Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 4:05PM
"i lost the whole pension.
my investors are gonna shit.
they're gonna kill us!"
"make up your mind dude, are they gonna shit or are they gonna kill us?!"
Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 4:08PM
@ 13, it's because anybody who was down more than 20% stopped reporting their data. HFR and all the databases have about 1/2 of the managers that were reporting last June still reporting. The weaker performing ones are bailing out.
Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 4:14PM
who ordered pizza?
Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 4:16PM
#17 here
not BAC/Mer, commodities trading company.
thanks for the advice
Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 4:18PM
@25: @13 here. Then they should put that qualifier on there someplace. Crap, that is ridiculous - only the people with decent performance report? And THAT'S the benchmark?
Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 5:11PM
Just what in the hell do you think your doing?
Having a snack...and learning about Cuba.
Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 7:04PM
@17 - make sure the hollowpoints are cross-cut
Posted by guest , Jan 08, 2009 11:28PM
If you're lucky you dodge bullets your whole career. If you're unlucky you catch a bullet right in your gut. . . Any man who's tuff enuff to fight with his guts hell-din in with a pot lid can drink from my cantin any day...
Lance Armstrong? the surfer?
Posted by guest , Jan 09, 2009 1:54AM
You work at All American Burger. Yea, thought so.
Posted by guest , Jan 09, 2009 1:56AM
This is U.S. History, I see the globe right there.
Posted by guest , Jan 09, 2009 1:58AM
@20- Na ha
He's the full hot orator.
Posted by guest , Jan 09, 2009 1:59AM
That was my skull! I'm so wasted!
Posted by guest , Jan 09, 2009 2:01AM
Well Stu I'll tell you, surfing's not a sport, it's a way of life, you know, a hobby. It's a way of looking at that wave and saying, "Hey bud, let's party!"
Posted by guest , Jan 09, 2009 2:02AM
Wait a minute, there's no birthday party for me here! Hello, Mr. Hand.
Posted by guest , Jan 09, 2009 2:04AM
Mr. Hand: 'Mr. Hand, will I pass this class?' Gee, Mr. Spicoli, I don't know! You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to leave your words right up here for all my classes to enjoy, giving you full credit of course, Mr. Spicoli.
Jeff Spicoli: All right!
Posted by guest , Jan 09, 2009 2:06AM
You know Mr. Hand I was thinking, If I'm here and your here isn't our time?