The Theta Theta Theta Sorority

It says something that we credit Ford with some kind of great accomplishment insofar as they didn't go begging for government handouts when GM and Chrysler debased themselves during Congressional Pledge Week. ("I want that bathroom floor shining in the light by morning. Here's a toothbrush. If a sister asks, you must be able to produce $0.67 exactly at all times. And don't let me catch you flying around in a jet. You are going to drive and you are going to like it.') It says something else that, as it looks now, Ford might join her sisters in that ignominious sorority, which we understand is "Theta Theta Theta," though its not clear if this has to do with the inexorable decay of members' value with the passage of time. We hear the initiation involves nudity, a paddling by Bob Corker and the application to the left asscheek of a brand reading "Your Ass Is Mine" above the great seal of the United States.

If nothing else, last month's dismal reports should have put the lie to this fantasy that somehow U.S. light vehicle sales will top 12 million this year (c.f. $38 crude this morning, however) the key number Ford was relying on in its smug refusal to admit the need for untold billions to keep everyone employed making the new Ford F150, and the idea that it could find reasonable off-campus housing rather than join the sisterhood.

What is it exactly that is going on with big auto, we ask you. Is it public posturing? Do these corporate leaders simply show a brave face during the day before retiring to the refuge of their curtain drawn bedrooms, head in hands, to sob in despair? (Maybe it was the shame of humiliation waking up missing key articles of clothing after that mixer/binge drinking session with ZBT/The Oversight Committee, though). Or are they really just completely deluded? Either way, should we permit them the privilege of handling any resources beyond their own checkbook anymore?

Chairman William Clay Ford Jr. told reporters yesterday that Ford's "game plan is to keep going on our own" and not seek federal loans unless "the world implodes as we know it."

Mr. Chairman, your false vacuum collapse has arrived and bubble nucleation proceeds apace.

Ford May Seek U.S. Help as Economy Imperils Sales [Bloomberg]

Comments

1

Posted by guest, Jan 12, 2009 11:15AM

Too bubble nucleation-y. Didn't read.

2

Posted by guest, Jan 12, 2009 11:16AM

Bob Corker for President!

He can paddle me anytime (although I'm not so sure about the branding).

3

Posted by guest, Jan 12, 2009 11:23AM

someone had a rough time during hell week...

4

Posted by Equity Private, Jan 12, 2009 11:25AM

"Posted by guest, Jan 12, 2009 11:23AM

someone had a rough time during hell week..."

Yeah. The Black-Scholes brand was kind big and it took a long time to heal.

5

Posted by guest, Jan 12, 2009 11:32AM

i thought it was that the big payday had to be forgone w/ application for funds. maybe the check has cleared....

6

Posted by guest, Jan 12, 2009 11:51AM

Who is Equity Private?

/with apologies to Ayn Rand

7

Posted by guest, Jan 12, 2009 12:06PM

...waiting for the implosion??


The man obviously doesn't read the paper, watch the tv, surf the net, talk to his barber or hooker, etc...

8

Posted by Anal_yst, Jan 12, 2009 1:29PM

@7

Further proof that everything Bill Ford touches turns to mush (not that it wasn't already completely obvious)

9

Posted by trojan, Jan 12, 2009 4:11PM

ZBT = zero bitches tonight

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