• 02 Feb 2009 at 9:47 AM

A Special Opportunity

Picture 656.pngEven though 857 of you implored us to write about it at the time, when Charlie Gasparino said last week that discussing bonuses is “a stupid fucking debate,” we made the editorial decision not to, because we didn’t give a shit. This mostly had to do with the fact that it was approximately the fourth time in the course of a month that CG let one slip on air, and it was about as shocking as hearing that *someone* in Stamford enjoyed himself a Little Debbie at the close, i.e. not.
Then, this morning on Squawk Box, when Chaz up and came out with the downright absurd resolution to “go cold turkey on the expletives,” we suddenly felt a loss for something we didn’t even know we gave a rat’s ass about, and it didn’t feel good. Did this include ‘ba fungool!’ or are we just restricted to the English language, we wondered, feeling like we were going to throw up. While we’re still shaking and sick to our stomachs, we’ve decided we can be victims or we can turn this around and make it work for us, by making things interesting. We haven’t had it approved by CG yet but our proposal is this– if Charlie “The Second Coming” Gasparino makes it ’til March 1 without breaking his vow, Dealbreaker readers will scrape together the funds to buy him a night of beverages at Elaine’s and (/or) a pound of sopressata. If he slips before then, CG must do something, on-air, for us. You know what I want (a Champion sweatshirt appearance, sans sleeves), but I’m open to suggestions from the crowd.

Comments (20)

  1. Posted by guest | February 2, 2009 at 9:53 AM

    An “I ‘heart’ Bess” tattoo on his bicep of choice

  2. Posted by girl | February 2, 2009 at 9:57 AM

    What is the world coming to when Gasbags has to apologize for his god-given right to say fuck and Michael Phelps is remourseful about his bong hits? I am especially torn up about having to apologize for bong hits.

  3. Posted by guest | February 2, 2009 at 10:07 AM

    On air Lycan reference!

  4. Posted by guest | February 2, 2009 at 10:07 AM

    Phelps is not remorseful for the bong hits, he is remorseful for getting photographed engaging in such behavior. Cameraphones have to be the world thing to happen to athletes in the last 10 years.
    Actors and actresses are used to being hounded, but it is the athletes that always seem to show up on the Internet, via a cameraphone catching them in the act of cutting loose.

  5. Posted by guest | February 2, 2009 at 10:09 AM

    @2 Jimmy, as a former BSC employee when you were CEO, you suck, never post here again

  6. Posted by guest | February 2, 2009 at 10:10 AM

    I think we need to see those Phelps pics again. GAnalYst

  7. Posted by guest | February 2, 2009 at 10:10 AM

    @3 maybe:
    ” . . . hearing of a big height target upgrade for the Lycans, situation is fluid . . .”

  8. Posted by guest | February 2, 2009 at 10:12 AM

    try this: if he can’t do it, he has to agree with a random dennis kneale comment and say, “guys, that’s the smartest thing i’ve ever heard anyone say. . .ever.”

  9. Posted by Bess Levin | February 2, 2009 at 10:14 AM

    @8- I like that A LOT.

  10. Posted by guest | February 2, 2009 at 10:18 AM

    @4, thanks genius.

  11. Posted by guest | February 2, 2009 at 10:24 AM

    Yes, Phelps is sorry and Daschle is deeply embarrassed . . . .
    Would like to see Charlie drop and do 50 on air. In a sleeveless suit. I wonder if Gasbag will ever go the way of Wideclops (i.e., jump the shark)

  12. Posted by guest | February 2, 2009 at 10:34 AM

    too opportunistic, no options

  13. Posted by guest | February 2, 2009 at 10:36 AM

    Phelps is so desperate to hang with celebrities that it is obvious. Hope he doesn’t change his first name to “River” or “Heath”.

  14. Posted by guest | February 2, 2009 at 10:36 AM

    in re: Phelps
    has anyone done an analysis of how the tax rev from legalization (and the attendant reduction in spend on enforcement) would impact the present financial crisis/recession? plenty of ex-hedgiues are out there with nothing to do but “phelp” the day away.

  15. Posted by guest | February 2, 2009 at 10:37 AM

    If Gasbag slips up, he should be forced to take Ratigan to dinner – at Le Cirque – ON VALENTINE’S DAY. Holding hands optional.

  16. Posted by guest | February 2, 2009 at 10:40 AM

    he should wear extra large lady sunglasses, a wife-beater with red pasta stains on the front, and a ball cap sideways…

  17. Posted by guest | February 2, 2009 at 10:44 AM

    Leave Phelps out of this Gasparino situation!
    Phelps = just a young guy sowing some wild oats after YEARS of regimented training and discipline. He deserves to party like a rock star and enjoy himself.
    Gasbag = an over the hill and over lubricated blowhard who will do anything to stay in the headlines, including this self-imposed cold turkey on the 7 bad words. Please, just get back to work Charles – and let the FCC monitor your outbursts. Once the Network tallies up the fines, how about it coming out of his bonus.

  18. Posted by guest | February 2, 2009 at 10:58 AM

    i’d like to see gas bag in a Sergio Techini Classic track suit, and end every comment using three fingers i.e sunny from a bronx tale

  19. Posted by guest | February 2, 2009 at 11:04 AM

    It’s actually “va fungool”
    Check it!

  20. Posted by guest | February 2, 2009 at 11:45 AM

    I don’t get why Charlie wants to pretend to be Rupert Pupkin and hang at Elaine’s?

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