Earlier this morning, upon hearing that Charlie Gasparino had made a promise to himself (and his underage viewers) not to curse on air ever again, we decided to insert ourselves (and yourselves) into the personal challenge. Without running it by CG, we decided that if he broke the vow before March 1, he had to do something for us (that something TBD), and if he made it to March 1 without a slip, his next night at Elaine's would on you people. Then this popped into our inbox:
Bess,I just read your item and wld love to take u up on the bet. There's just one problem: judging by some of the comments on your posts about me, the typical Dealbreaker reader (a) is unemployed or (b) the kid on the trading desk who is forced to take the female hormones and wear dresses, etc.
As such, i don't think your readers can afford a night at Elaine's.
-CG
Burn! But: after getting CG on the horn and assuring him that among them all, DB's readers could probably swing it, he relented. Which is to say: IT IS ON. We haven't yet finalized what Chaz will have to do in the event things go our way, so take the rest of the morning/afternoon off to consider it, and I'll offer him his options after the close.
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 11:11AM
Elaine's hasn't been relevant since '88
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 11:11AM
CG! We love u man! C'mon! Bafongool!
Posted by StillNoCouch , Feb 02, 2009 11:13AM
If he phucks it up, he should make a short video extolling the virtues of DB readers for exclusive posting here.
Posted by European Bear , Feb 02, 2009 11:14AM
If he loses, he should jump into the Hudson, to truly visualize a fluid situation.
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 11:14AM
Yes, if he screws up, he should have to plug this website.
Posted by Alderfly , Feb 02, 2009 11:18AM
I'm thinking something like the Vietnamese monk who torched himself to protest the war. Sitting cross-legged out front of the old Lehman HQ with a can of gasoline...
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 11:18AM
2 cups 1 charlie
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 11:23AM
@7 beautiful, man. fuckin' beautiful.
what about gasbags having to provide us dennis kneale in a back alley? i've wanted to punch his pointy face for a good 2 years now.
Posted by merkin capital partners , Feb 02, 2009 11:25AM
ow charlie! that really hurt! charlie bit my finger!
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 11:25AM
If I could buy Charlie for what he's worth and then sell him for what he thinks he's worth, I could at least buy him a entree at Elaine's.
The Elaine's people are probably pissed their name has been brought into this.
Posted by lehaigbsc , Feb 02, 2009 11:26AM
How about he has to reval a source for once?
Posted by StupidEquityGuy , Feb 02, 2009 11:27AM
I think a YouTubes type video that CNBC might run with at some point plugging Dealbreaker is the best idea so far.
Chaz helps the cause and DB gets some free advertising.
~SEG
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 11:27AM
You get the sense that CG would still be going to Studio 54 if that hadn't closed. How about an on-air rendition of Billy Joel's "Big Shot" with some sort of ridiculous wardrobe and props.
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 11:29AM
@lehaighbsc- I'm no CG apologist, but people who rag on him for not revealing sources are idiots. No journalist (or aspirational journalist or "journalist") ever reveals their sources, or no one would give them information.
Posted by Anal_yst , Feb 02, 2009 11:29AM
@8
FTW
oh, and he should def have to plug DB for the rest of the year on a daily basis, get all the yahoos here in droves, yeeehawww!
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 11:30AM
do you think gas man is one these cugino's who implies to everyone that he has mob connections? seems like the type.
gas man - not only could i afford a meal at elaines, i could buy elaines if i felt like it.
(((toot toot)))
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 11:31AM
Here ya go, Charlie:
http://changing-personal-habits.suite101.com/article.cfm/how_to_stop_cursing
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 11:33AM
he can buy my next set of extenders, the bitch
/sarcasm
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 11:34AM
i would bet my left XXX that charlie gasparino has special edition copies of godfather 1, 2 and the shitty one.
charlie - be honest - have you ever furiously masturbated while watching goodfellas?
i bet you have.
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 11:35AM
This is getting Juicy. And, it just proves that Gasbag pops on to Dealbreaker more than he will ever care to admit. He's obviously obsessed with what people think about him.
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 11:35AM
after that mind-numbing blast of chauvanism/homophobia from the cretin, appearing in-drag on-air is the obvious candidate
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 11:36AM
too over, didn't hill
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 11:36AM
If he's caught smoking a bong, does that count? What about the Meth blow-outs in the bathroom?
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 11:37AM
watch this for ideas: http://www.cnbc.com/id/27827767
maybe someone in the office should do something with chuckie's toothbrush that sits at his desk?
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 11:37AM
Well, since apparently we are all nothing more than a bunch of witless morons for our choice to frequent this site, let's take ole Chaz's idea. He curses before the first and he dresses in drag on air, in front of Elaine's, plugging BL & EP's uncanny ability to always beat him to the punch on breaking news and then comment on how it is largely in part to DB's dedicate fan base.
Spencer
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 11:37AM
you so know charlie is going to knock dennis k the fuck out one day.
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 11:38AM
"Gasparino, mauled shredded and bleeding walks into that same Alaskan bar late one night a year later and proudly announces, "OK, you bastards, now where's that Eskimo woman you want me to wrestle???"
~The "Punchline Only" Guy
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 11:39AM
@23- no because smoking pot is not cursing?
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 11:40AM
Charlie, you're not aging well.
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 11:42AM
I just love Gasparino.
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 11:42AM
Gazza just defamed and insulted every trans-gender/cross-dressing professional on Wall Street. We are most likely dealing with a serious closet case here. He probably cruises the West Village at night beating up TG Prosties, the sick fuck.
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 11:43AM
Maybe we should all send CG a bar of soap to wash his mouth out?
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 11:44AM
awww his head got too big when you sponsored that b'day tribute to him.
that's it, he's got to snog dennis neale on air.
i love this part though:
"Bess,
I just read your item and wld love to take u up on the bet. "
How quickly after the post was that email banged out?
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 11:49AM
@ 9: Never heard of this Gasparino guy, but you have picked the best way to humiliate a guy named Charlie! I hope he loses, so I can see some news guy get humiliated.
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 11:49AM
31 -
it's not gay if you beat the fuck out of heshe after you bust your nut.
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 11:49AM
I say if he loses, he has to drink 3 bottles of Barolo an hour before he is set to go live in a breaking news segment with Dylan Ratigan.
Whaddaya got, Chazza!
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 11:50AM
Have him take a long, loud, slurping and wet drink of coffee out of a "don't short me bro!" mug on the air.
...and bitch slap dennis k. when he gets in arms length.
-BeckyBootFan
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 11:53AM
34 here. Come to think of it, who knows what Bess and PE look like. If Charlie loses, he has to bite their finger. Hahahahahahaha
At least then I would see something of him. Until he's on Dealbreaker, he's dead to me. CNBC? Gimme a break.
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 11:54AM
1.on air wearing dealbreaker t-shirt
that says:
"i f**ked-up and i didn't just get this t-shirt"
2. while serving dennis k an espresso saying, "dennis, you are finest reporter of hard facts i know"
3. must turn to camera and say. "bess,
you won"
4. just for laughs must agree/deliver unrestricted youtube rights for segment. . .
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 11:54AM
If he loses send in a box of douche bags.
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 11:55AM
For the rest of the year, every one of Charlie's rumors must be attributed to an anonymous comment on DB.
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 11:55AM
If he loses there should be no more mention on Gasbags on Dealbreaker and any further CNBC coverage should be exclusively for Dennis Neale.
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 11:55AM
http://www.fcc.gov/eb/oip/FAQ.html#TheLaw
I wanna know if he is getting his paycheck clipped.
What monetary sanctions has the FCC imposed for violation of its indecency, profanity, and obscenity restrictions? The base monetary sanction for violation of the FCC's indecency, profanity, and/or obscenity restrictions is $7,000 per violation. The FCC may adjust this monetary sanction upwards, up to a current statutory maximum of $32,500 per violation, based on such factors as the nature, circumstances, extent and gravity of the violation, and, with respect to the violator, the degree of culpability, any history of prior offenses, ability to pay, and such other matters as justice may require.
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 11:57AM
@42. that punishes us. cruelly.
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 11:57AM
Make him eat a jar of MAYO live on CNBC, and if he spills any he can use a SHAM-WOW to clean it up.
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 11:59AM
@42 --> Charlie?
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 12:00PM
He loses and he has to change his I AM CNBC commercial, starting it out with:
I AM:
A dealbreaker reader
A writer
Son of an iron worker
Son of New York
etc...
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 12:02PM
@46, this is 42, not gasbagadoughnuts, can't handle a year of all dk all the time. . .it burns, it itches.
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 12:03PM
If he loses, he has to go on-air wearing a Snuggie.
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 12:15PM
If he losses, he should have to give up his shameless self-promotional antics for a month. Namely, he would no longer be permitted to preface his comments by "I broke this earlier today" or anything of the sort. Not extolling his "investigatory" skills to world would make Charlie a dull boy.
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 12:15PM
I don't wear dresses anymore. They let me wear nice pant suits from Brooks Brothers for Women.
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 12:16PM
Gasbag's biggest fear (and the apparent reason he is so obsessed with Dealbreaker) is that his fellow CNBC colleagues are hopping on and reading some of these Gas-bashing posts - probably the reason for the snickering in the hallways he's been subjected to lately.
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 12:16PM
I think if he loses, Bess gets to cock punch him on the air.
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 12:17PM
How does this effect Dylan Ratigan?
Posted by CapitolCapital , Feb 02, 2009 12:20PM
I think having him write a blog post for DB would be a pretty cool outcome. Not sure if that his prize for winning or losing though. Maybe the topic is determined by win or lose.
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 12:22PM
45 Maybe unintentional, but that's a good one. We Italians find mayonaise vile and unhealthy - has something to do with our upbringing, the way we were taught to eat. I still can't stand the look or smell of the stuff. I gag during that TV commercial where the little kid has some mayo on the end of his nose.
Posted by CapitolCapital , Feb 02, 2009 12:22PM
@55. *that's*... not "that". *that's*. ah, fck it.
oh, I lose.
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 12:28PM
If he looses: A day at the desk with Dennis Kneale.
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 12:38PM
@49- Winner!
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 12:47PM
@49 is on to something but it should also have a DB logo.
I wouldn't drop a nickel to buy this self-involved blow hard a meal.
And if I hear one more thing about Fat Charlie's dad and his union experience I am going to blow chunks.
Finally, I do not think he should disparage the readers of his source for stories. Just rude and ungrateful.
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 12:52PM
I say Chaz have to wear drag and go to a gay strip club. All taped on video.
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 12:56PM
Bess,
I think the answer is quite obvious. If CG slips up, he should eat his words and go on air donning the make up and female dress from his own zinger. While I would normally appreciate his clever punch, given these stressful times I feel compelled to punch back while I sweat on a trading desk and he sits on his laurels in a cushy studio. As the designated trader on my desk that has to wear female attire, I would personally feel victorious at the sight of Chaz in a pencil skirt and pumps. Of course I am an actual female and don't need hormones to fit into a woman's 6, but I think my fellow traders would appreciate it none the less.
Stone Cold
Posted by Anal_yst , Feb 02, 2009 1:01PM
@ 62
Yours on CG fitting into a size 6, let alone a pencil skirt
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 1:05PM
Erin Burnett better make sure her locker is secure tonight, otherwise Charles is likely to break in and snatch one of her pencil skirts.
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 1:09PM
i'm with 58. a day on the desk with dk will clearly end with punching
Posted by Investorcluzo , Feb 02, 2009 1:30PM
I'd really like to see that "cuntry reporter" wearing a pink I <3 DB shirt on air. since we know he doesn't like getting up early, make him show up - in studio - for "squawk box". at the appropriate hour, he should tell the world that dk "broke dat" [insert whatever was on db the day before] story...
seriously, the guy writes for the "beast" so he can make ends meet. how's he going to call anyone out? just because the folks at elaine's let him eat for free each time he mentions the joint on television doesn't mean he can waltz into babo...
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 1:34PM
Why does it seem that some here on DB (posters and writers) have an unhealthy obsession with CG? How about if he loses the bet he stops getting coverage for a year and we're all relieved to not hear from or about him.
[there is only so much joy one can get from looking at a train wreck..then again maybe not].
Flame On....
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 1:49PM
He wears a dress on air!!
Posted by chernevik , Feb 02, 2009 1:55PM
Please remind me: why would we want CG to stop swearing at DK?
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 2:03PM
If he loses he sings Tainted Love on Fast Money.
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 2:04PM
CG --- i may not have a job --- but if the labor department doesn't count me ---
then i am not unemployed...............
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 2:07PM
Has to wear "don't short me bro" tee on air.
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 3:02PM
Gazza Bear: I still (heart) you, no matter what the bitches say,
Tina B.
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 3:05PM
Gasparino, if we catch you rummaging through our clothes & makeup when you lose this bet, you're a dead man. DEAD.
Maria, Erin, Becky, K-Fine, Melissa
By the way, Becky just saw a one-legged Trannie outside with a baseball bat - looking for you?
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 3:17PM
Hey, Charlie. You gay!
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 3:24PM
Mr. Gasparino clearly has absorption-with-self issues. There is treatment for this. I'd like to go over this in detail on March 1st. Charlie, please have your Network call my Network.
Dr. Phil
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 3:35PM
#74 - yeah, I saw that Tranny too. Apparently unemployed with a big grudge
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 3:37PM
He needs to tell the Aristocrats joke on air, using himself, Neale, two midgets, and three dogs and a box turtle.
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 3:53PM
I got it.
He has to officially change his name to "Dildo Gasparino."
Aw f*ck, Dildo, you should just change it regardless, you blowhard loser.
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 4:40PM
Just wait till the class-action suit of Unemployed Wall Street Trannie/Cross Dressers vs. Gasparino is filed; not only for defamation of character and slander, but there is also a possible violation of their civil rights going on here. They have a right to electronic social networking too!
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 4:47PM
who the fuck is Gasparino and why the fuck would we ever fucking want him to swear less?
Posted by T C , Feb 02, 2009 5:29PM
I'll put up a dinner for 4 at ALTO or Convivo . . . and you can check with, Frank Wess, Jimmy Owens, Toshiko Akiyoshi, Lew Tabackin, George Garzone, Gene Perla, or Wycliffe Gordon as to whether I can make good on it
Posted by guest , Feb 02, 2009 6:39PM
I may be unemployed, but I am STILL getting your tax dollars Gasbag.
You win the bet, I will take you to The Eagle in nyc. Show you what us crossdressers do.