As you know, Ken Lewis is set to have a little chat with Andrew Cuomo today, re: Merrill bonuses. And while we know precious little about how it’ll all go down, save for the inside info that John Thain left some used gum for KL on the seat after his meeting yesterday, and the hope that Lewis will respond to every one of Andy’s questions with the same line he used with Waters (“I don’t understand what you’re talking about“), we can take a sec to come to a consensus on one thing. What sort of brain food the Bank of Amerillwide CEO will eat for breakfast before going into battle. So.
*Went down to the hotel bar last night to ease his nerves and who should he find drinking alone but Andy Cuomo. It’s awk at first, sure, but before long they’re agreeing over how silly “this whole bonus thing is,” introducing themselves as business associates from out of town to unsuspecting women at the bar and cracking jokes at Thain’s expense. (Cuomo: “No, no seriously, you shoulda seen him today, cracking under the pressure, the fruit.”)
Is he going to sit in a high chair?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2KmzFABujM
Crabcakes. He loves crabcakes.
@3 he eats triple-posting pieces of shit like you.
This is gold, pure gold. I love you Bess.
Ken: What’s good here?
Waiter: Well, our Eggs Benedict is very popular
Ken: Fine. I’ll pay you $10 billion for it.
Cuomo tube steak.
Baby Got BAC
I like big BANKS and I cannot lie
You other traders can’t deny
That when these stocks get down to an itty bitty price
it’s time to roll the dice
And then SPRING,
Pull the trigger on the trade
Take advantage of the bear raid
The losses that I’m bearing
Won’t stop me from getting more shares in
Oh Cramer! I take issue with ya
I get the picture
Your always trying to warn me
But your take on BAC is oh-so-corny
Ooh, CNBC!
You mock this strategy?
Well, we’ll see, we’ll see
How much you’ll cost your groupies
I’ve seen BAC dropping
But then soon she’s popping
She’ll tip, flip
then shoot upwards like a rocket ship
I’m tired of magazines
Preaching always “cash is king”
You wanna get in the black, win your retirement back
You gotta pack much BAC
So, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!)
Has your IRA got the BAC? (Hell yeah!)
So Buy it! Buy it!
Buy that big ‘ole bank!
Baby got BAC!
(Queen City grace with Merrill’s booty)
Baby got BAC!
I like ‘em broke, and big
The ones the Feds can rig
Though some whine about “moral hazard” and “scandal”
This is something the Feds can handle
I wanna get me some
And yeah, double-up, yeah, yeah
Now I got no use for Thain, boy
His golden toilet and all those toys
He wanted his office so antique-y
And didn’t mind paying double
Now that Thain boy’s in a lot of trouble
Spending money like it’s the height of the bubble
So I’m lookin’ at a YouTube video
Some dude named Santelli foaming at the mouth, yo!
You can have those bozos
I ain’t worried about no bad ratios
A word to the Roubinis – make like Houdinis
You scaremongering weenies!
I gotta be straight when I say I wanna buy
at the break of dawn
BAC’s got it goin’ on
A lot of shorts won’t like this song
‘Cause them punks like to short it and distort it
And I’d rather stay and play
‘Cause I’m long, and I’m strong
And I’m down to get the profits on
So, ladies! {Yeah!} Ladies! {Yeah}
You wanna buy a new Mercedes {Yeah!}
Let’s turn this around! Let’s double down!
Even Warren B. boy’s got to shout
Baby got BAC!
Baby got BAC!
Yeah, buddy … when it comes to stocks, Motley Fool ain’t got nothin’ to do with my selection. Tangible common equity ratio above 6%? Ha ha, only if you’re a widow or orphan.
So your investing’s been a drama, but this bailout plan by Obama
Will give a motor to BAC to get in the black; it’s got good karma
My portfolio don’t want none
Unless it got TARP funds
You can buy CDs or T-Bills
But please don’t sell that BAC
Some brokers wanna play that “hard” role
And tell you that the BAC ain’t gold
They’ll up margin to make you leave it
But I pull up quick to retrieve it
So CNBC says I’m a fool
Well I don’t think that’s cool!
‘Cause BAC’s cost is small, and the payoff kickin’
At least go and put your toe in!
So bashers if the balance sheet is down
That’s not enough to run us out of town
Dial 1-800-BUY-A-LOT
And kick them nasty shorts
Baby got BAC!
Hair of the dog?
@8 – Sir I salute you- that was a perfect hangover cure.
@ 8 -
out-fucking-standing
@8 you need to send that to Andy Samberg at SNL
@8 magnificent. And an anticipatory FU to the comments sure to come about too much time on his hands and too long etc…
Cuomo will compare both answers as the questions will be the same and will pounce on the discrepancies…..look out Ken
@8, TLDR
@8, TLDR
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txW6w-f2GzU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txW6w-f2GzU
@ # 15 & 16, too double, didn’t post.