• 12 Feb 2009 at 5:55 PM

Media Ruins Bank of Amerillwide’s Good Time

By

I don’t know about you, but I fucking hate the god damn press. All they ever do is ruin my good time. I’m just trying to kick back, forget my trubs, maybe nail a hooker or two during a coke fueled bender of a weekend at the Bellagio with my colleagues before finishing up on some really critical pitchbooks with my red pen and bitching out an associate on the airphone, knowwhatimsayin? And who cares if my company is on the brink of insolvency?* WHO CARES?

From: [redacted @ BAC]
Sent: Wednesday, February 04, 2009 5:05 PM
Subject: Event Guidelines
Importance: High
Given the ongoing negative press, the Marketing transition team has issued the following guidelines regarding event and conference activity:
Guidelines
1. No resorts

2. No 5-star hotels
3. No entertainment, recreation or fancy meals (no company sponsored golf/spa outings, no bands, DJ’s or other hired evening entertainment, no cocktail receptions)
4. If no business content or thought leadership, cancel
5. Anything considered pure hospitality, cancel
6. Must be serious business content; should be business revenue generating opportunities
We need to review all planned events with these guidelines in mind. Feel free to share this information with your business partners.
[Redacted]

*Get of over yourselves, I’m just keeping it interesting in here.

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    Comments (34)

    1. 1
      Posted by guest | February 12, 2009 at 5:59 PM

      insert lolcat picture here: this retreat r srs business!

    2. 2
      Posted by guest | February 12, 2009 at 6:02 PM

      No mention of Hookers

    3. 3
      Posted by guest | February 12, 2009 at 6:04 PM

      sucks to be a hotel…they’re gonna need a bailout next

    4. 4
      Posted by guest | February 12, 2009 at 6:05 PM

      or blow

    5. 5
      Posted by guest | February 12, 2009 at 6:05 PM

      wtf is “thought leadership”

    6. 6
      Posted by guest | February 12, 2009 at 6:06 PM

      or blow…..

    7. 7
      Posted by guest | February 12, 2009 at 6:09 PM

      It’s the thought leaders who put out “FAQs” from employees and customers and leave out “WHERE’S MY BONUS?”

    8. 8
      Posted by guest | February 12, 2009 at 6:11 PM

      so…. basically instead of going out and spending $150 on food and $600 on wine I am going to have to order the steak for $60 and afterwards drink a $40 bottle of vodka instead?
      life can be so harsh.

    9. 9
      Posted by guest | February 12, 2009 at 6:12 PM

      i though the point of me moving over to the buy-side was getting perks from these bankers???

    10. 10
      Posted by guest | February 12, 2009 at 6:12 PM

      http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601087&sid=a1gpkAyXa8iw&refer=home

    11. 11
      Posted by guest | February 12, 2009 at 6:12 PM

      “Must be serious business content; should be business revenue generating opportunities”
      wow

    12. 12
      Posted by Investorcluzo | February 12, 2009 at 6:13 PM

      okay, so who’s going to take over as the new “bank of baseball” and what about NASCAR? who’s going to show up to all those events?

    13. 13
      Posted by guest | February 12, 2009 at 6:13 PM

      It’s as though a million bonuses cried out in agony then were silenced.

    14. 14
      Posted by guest | February 12, 2009 at 6:16 PM

      @11. “should” is such a fluid term.

    15. 15
      Posted by guest | February 12, 2009 at 6:33 PM

      We are fucked.
      Life, as we knew it, is over.

    16. 16
      Posted by guest | February 12, 2009 at 6:54 PM

      wow the banksters are finally living like every other business on the planet.

    17. 17
      Posted by guest | February 12, 2009 at 7:18 PM

      does this mean GCIB training for analysts and associates next year will be at the Motel 6 in Charlotte instead of the Crown Plaza in Times Square?

    18. 18
      Posted by guest | February 12, 2009 at 7:27 PM

      I work at mid tier shop and I get to fly business and stay in 5 star hotels. god I love it.

    19. 19
      Posted by guest | February 12, 2009 at 7:55 PM

      @19
      When did you raise your fund?
      Are your people asleep at the wheel?

    20. 20
      Posted by guest | February 12, 2009 at 8:18 PM

      “thought leadership” was endemic at during my time at Citi. Basically and excuse for climbing MDs to talk bs at conferences in far flung places and to justify advertising in tedious industry publications (e.g. we buy adverts they’ll interview us and Citi will appear as though leaders. MD can then use said article to justify salary and try and get positions in other banks by implying they’re an expert in their field rather than they used company dime to buy the back page).

    21. 21
      Posted by guest | February 12, 2009 at 8:22 PM

      OK, I give up. What is “thought leadership”?

    22. 22
      Posted by guest | February 12, 2009 at 9:01 PM

      Let’s start a Robin Hood II foundation for deprived bonus H/M/W traders. Can I count the readers in?
      And for the evil press there should be a censorship council. What does Dick Cheney do these days?

    23. 23
      Posted by guest | February 12, 2009 at 9:40 PM

      @ 20
      You are an idiot. Boutique and mid tier firms will make all the money going forward

    24. 24
      Posted by guest | February 12, 2009 at 11:22 PM

      @20 ur an assclown

    25. 25
      Posted by guest | February 13, 2009 at 2:21 AM

      Just to nitpick – the investment bank is not regulated by these barbaric demands.
      Also, #3 is incorrect. How else can you explain this video?
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KC4cn-GIeGM

    26. 26
      Posted by guest | February 13, 2009 at 8:54 AM

      What about the Fxcking Catalina Wine Mixer!!!?????

    27. 27
      Posted by guest | February 13, 2009 at 9:25 AM

      ITS THE CATALINA WINE MIXER.

    28. 28
      Posted by guest | February 13, 2009 at 10:02 AM

      POW!

    29. 29
      Posted by KevinB | February 13, 2009 at 10:13 AM

      @13: Thank you, that was priceless.

    30. 30
      Posted by guest | February 13, 2009 at 10:19 AM

      This sucks. Relaunching PRESTIGE WORLDWIDE-WIDE-WIDE-wide…

    31. 31
      Posted by guest | February 13, 2009 at 10:36 AM

      Thought leadership is a broad label that may be used to explain a wide variety of initiatives from university partnerships, business conference sponsorships, speaker series, training programs, etc. I don’t see the problem with the memo. We are angry when they go to five-star hotels and we are angry when they impose restrictions on five-star hotels.

    32. 32
      Posted by guest | February 13, 2009 at 10:41 AM

      @16 You said it – I just got fitted for my Kim Jong-Il suit, I bought my little red Mao book and a new hammer and sickle tattoo on my ass.

    33. 33
      Posted by PartyGirl | February 13, 2009 at 12:35 PM

      Basically they want you to sit thru an incredibly boring meeting and then go home…

    34. 34
      Posted by Bypezili | April 16, 2012 at 1:31 AM

      лучше для вас мини вечерние платья , только кликов

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