RBS Unveils $34B Loss (Reuters)
“Royal Bank of Scotland reported the biggest loss in British history on Thursday and said the government’s stake could rise as high as 95 percent after it stumped up billions to insure the bank’s risky assets.
RBS also unveiled plans to cut 2.5 billion pounds ($3.56 billion) in costs as part of a restructuring plan which will see it exit or reduce its presence in 36 of the 54 countries it operates, which could see 20,000 job cuts.”
UBS appoints ex-Credit Suisse head as CEO (Reuters)
Marcel Rohner out, Oswald Gruebel in.
Citi Closing On Deal With US Government (WSJ)
It looks like this deal for 40% ownership could go down today. Thoughts? Concerns? Secret island where we can all go if shit gets bad?
“Citigroup Inc. is closing in on an agreement to boost the federal government’s stake in the company to as much as 40%, according to people familiar with the situation. A deal could be announced as soon as Thursday.”
A Look At The Stress Test (WSJ)
The plan calls for banks being able to operate under 10%+ unemployment and as much as 25%+ decline in housing prices, and if they can’t, they either have to raise private funds or take the Government cheddar. I can appreciate the Administration wanting to secure banking, for you know, the people, but forcing banks to take money at 10% is fundamentally fucked up.
“Economists said most of the nation’s largest banks will likely have to raise capital under the economic assumptions that regulators plan to use. The stress test assumes an unemployment rate averaging 8.9% in 2009 and 10.3% in 2010. Because that is an average for a whole year, the test envisions the jobless rate reaching higher than those levels on a monthly basis during these stretches. It was 7.6% in January”
Government To Step It Up In Student Loans (NYT)
There’s two parts to this (relative to us). Firstly, if student loans had been able to fail we would be faced with a mass of students looking for jobs in what’s arguably the worst economy in like 2/3 years. Secondly, more bankers are going back to school (for whatever reason) here recently, and given the combination of severance packages and greed I’m pretty confident some of you are going to be looking to explore the “free money for now” route.
Geithner Blames Bankers For Loss Of Confidence (CNBC)
No, and that’s fair – we blame the Government (in part).
Liddy Pleads For Forgiveness As AIG Unravels (Bloomberg)
It’s cool Liddy. No worries. No one in finance really expected you to pay that shit back anyway, the terms were ridiculous. And yes, we understood given the circumstances you weren’t really in a position to negotiate. Do this, if you’re going to go out: do it with a bang. I mean pro’s for everyone, all over the place. Fill the office. Distribute coke with snow blowers. GO TEAM!
China Toughens M&A/Loan Stance (Reuters)
Looks like mighty red is getting a little weary of how its banks are acting: the people resposible for running over its citizens in tanks is now stepping up reg’s in their finance industry. I’m psyched.
citi
aig
ubs
rbs
the first to construct a nice sounding word out of these 13 (of course) letters has invented the replacement of “fail”
A Big But Crisis
Gricabisibust
I Suit Big Crabs
Anyone know about the private party Citigroup had last night at Turtle Bay? I mean it was $1 draft night, so glad to see they are getting the most bang for their buck – but come on now..how are they in any position to throw a Citi sponsored party while on the brink of becoming the Bank of Obama? Where’s Andy Cuomo when you need him..
me likey anagrams
why does UBS need keys in the logo, they apparently have no problem picking the metaphoric locks when they don’t like the laws
TRB
http://www.nypost.com/seven/02262009/business/pandit_to_survive_uncle_sams_citigroup_p_157001.htm
“PANDIT TO SURVIVE UNCLE SAM’S CITIGROUP PLAN”
(cue music, theme from “Rocky”… no theme from “The Odd Couple?”)
@ 7
cue music “when the going gets tough..” fade out fade in slumdog millionaire OST
@1 thats only 12 letters (of course) learn math…. 3×4 = 12… no wonder your first to comment and probably out of work
@9
do you try to confuse me or are you really that retarded?
Say after me :
“citi consists of four letters. I am dumber than shit”
now repeat 1000x, than kill yourself.
Love, #1
well done #9
@9 what your name so we can add you to the fail list
@9, I think we know who should be out of work now.
@9 Serously #9, i’m amazed you know how to type considering you don’t know how to count
@9, it’s you’re not your, did you fail English, too?
@9, re: “no wonder your first to comment and probably out of work”
it’s “you’re” not “your”, did you fail English, too?
me fail English? That umpossible!
@7-Mad Lib yourself happy
Opening narration to “The Odd Couple”
“On ______[date], ______ _____[name of person] was asked to remove himself from his place of _______[noun]. (______’s[person] unseen ______[noun] slams door. She reopens it and angrily hands ______[person] his ______[noun]) That request came from his _____. Deep down, he knew she was right, but he also knew that someday, he would return to her. With nowhere else to go, he appeared at the _____[place] of his ___[adjective] ______[noun], ____ _____[name of another person]. Sometime earlier, ______’s[other person] _____[noun] had thrown him out, requesting that he never return. Can two _____[adjective] men share a[n] _____[noun] without driving each other crazy?”
9 here, citi was an oversight… for some redemption to answer your question re: arranging those letters
A Bug Bit Crisis
I love the smell of simple souls getting butchered in the morning…
I am a 28 year old white male in the securities industry; what is the black overclass?
We nee “affirmative action” for the white male.
No mention of the Obama tax increase? An no, not just raising top rates to 39.6 but stealth increases through deduction cutbacks.
Add the NY/CA state tax increases / sales tax increases / NY city tax increase AND one of the highest corporate tax rates – you have the most taxes citizenry in the world. The dem wet dream is here. Enjoy!
They cut Birdman’s NEWBO’s clip early, the next frame was Obama, “ya’ll believe dis? i’m tha muthafuckin president, ya heard me? shit thas crazy…my budget gon’ be 640, 650 biyon dollas…we’re filming? Oh, excuse me my fellow citizens, how do we do tonight?..”
Can someone please tell me how we are now any different from China, save for what’s left of the non-PRAVDA press aka “cable chatter”? Other than the fact that they make stuff people want to buy –
@25 duh, they are yellow with small eyes and alledgedly small d’s. are you?
@25 – key difference
- their people work much and get paid little
- US people work little and get paid much
and we have a gaping CA deficit to show for it
@9/19 – wow man. that’s got to hurt a little, welcome to the big leagues. at least no one has banished you to yahoo (yet)…
@merkin – I’m looking forward to the “newbo’s” piece. just trying to figure out why I didn’t get interviewed. puffy ain’t no business man!
@1
The sicagibbirtus bank affair caused deep financial panic throughout the country.
Sicagibbirtus
@17. Simpsons. Nice.
@1 big tuba crisis bank?
@26, my small d is so small it’s called something you’ve probably never seen outside of pay-per-view, and no, I’m neither –
@32
MOM?!?
The Greenwood Greenwitch ponzi guy collected 1,350 Teddy Bears…paying $85,000 for one Bear
This shit is fucked
What happened to blowin $ on booze, drugs & hookers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@1 erin has big bust
@1 erin has big bust
Son, we agreed you would call me MILFie online and that bear is a freakin’ Steiff that belonged to Eva Braun’s BF.