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He’s yet to kill any former girlfriends employees (that we know of) but on John Thain’s life, it could come to that. From the one of three financial services firms hiring:
How about doing a bit about the absurd garden leave periods that Bank of Amerillwide is forcing on people. We have been trying to hire several sales people and across the board, and no one will let them go and release their U-5.
Scene: The Cash Room, United States Treasury
Banked by the latest results of the stimulus plan, ten Chinese made American flags purchased from the Troubled Flag Producer Relief Program, a single podium under gold gilded ceilings. A tense crowd, filled with runners holding seats for the notables not yet arrived, passes the moments in the dark rumble of idle conversation….
…assuming the podium, which is labeled “Financial Stability and Recovery,” Chris Dodd, sporting slicked back hair that might well be that of Gordon Gekko, but for its yellowed white color. Introductions are made. Panic is expressed. Urgency is urged.
Dodd, swimming in a morass of confusion, repeats the words “fresh ideas” over and over.
Geithner, pivoting back and forth like a tennis ball machine, serves up almost Randian morsels on “the doers,” “the innovators,” to the audience- who offered not a single clap following his introduction.
He is unsure how his public have received his deft replacement of the word “stop” with “arrest,” a last minute change adopted after consulting the Microsoft Thesaurus early-morning.
Even Dodd cocks his head, off camera, trying to remember where he heard that it was a bad thing, not a good thing, to start a “two front” war, as Geithner now advocates. Was it Kissinger? Lee Marvin? The Princess Bride? The moment is lost.
The Safecracker looks haggard. His youth sucked out, leaving his skin gray underneath the caked on camera makeup that covers his face and shining forehead. Signs of a late night spent practicing in front of the mirror.
As his message rounds the course of re-leveraging the economy, restarting securitization and once again getting consumers doing what they are supposed to, amassing more debt, the word “private” is sprinkled, strategically, wherever the word “public” appears- just in case.
The Safecracker builds to the crescendo, where he announces a complete revamp of the entire financial regulatory system is in the works. One that will never, never ever, permit us to face such a crisis again. The sing-song, harmonic cycle of his intonation never faltering, keeping pace like a Cesium clock. Rising and falling in a low throbbing pulse.
It occurs to him that by admitting that things might get worse before they get better, he has given lie to the “never again” remark. He hopes, as the sweat builds, it will pass.
But his momentum is robbed. The hidden earpiece crackles, the market is down three and a half percent. The NASDAQ index of bailout recipients is down over nine percent. Nine point five. Nine point seven….
He closes quickly. Turns, not even acknowledging the tepid applause, trots down the stairs, slips behind the flags and exits, without fanfare, head down the entire way. The air escapes the room.
Unsure if there is more to see, the audience remains motionless for a few beats. First he was there, then he was gone. Away into the depths of the Treasury, exiting through the secret passage into the Crack-Cave. He has vanished before their eyes. He is…
…The Safecracker.
WASHINGTON, Feb 10 (Reuters) – The following are excerpts from a speech U.S. Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner will deliver on financial stability at 11 a.m. (1600 GMT).
“As President Obama said in his inaugural address, our economic strength is derived from ‘the doers, the makers of things.’
“The innovators who create and expand enterprises.
“The workers who provide life to companies and, with their earnings, support families and invest in their future… This is what drives economic growth.
“The financial system is central to this process, transforming the earnings and savings of American workers into the loans that finance a first home, a new car or a college education, the credit necessary to build a company around a new idea.
“Without credit, economies cannot grow, and right now, critical parts of our financial system are damaged.
……
“Instead of catalyzing recovery, the financial system is working against recovery, and that’s the dangerous dynamic we need to change.
“It is essential for every American to understand that the battle for economic recovery must be fought on two fronts. We have to both jump-start job creation and private investment, and we must get credit flowing again to businesses and families.
Tim “The Safecracker” Geithner is going to be demonstrating his deft touch for opening vaults this morning and we will take you there via liveblog.
As being well-prepared will help attenuate the degree to which you are blinded and blind-sided by bullshit rhetoric, you might be interested in reviewing this viewing guide from Baseline Scenario via Alea. Certainly, taking some Vitamin C and getting a tetanus shot before tuning in is a good idea.
Just in case you weren’t sure, General Motors is in trouble. Big trouble. On top of all the other trouble you’ve no doubt heard about they are now planning to cut 10,000 jobs. Yesterday’s rumors are fact this morning as the flagging former giant begins to face the music.
General Motors Corp., the largest U.S. automaker, plans to eliminate 10,000 salaried jobs globally, people familiar with the situation said.
The situation is fluid (except for the cuts, which are solid as can be).
General Motors Is Said to Plan to Eliminate 10,000 Jobs [Bloomberg]
President Obama’s pick for Treasury secretary, Timothy F. Geithner, has disclosed a $434,668 severance from the Federal Reserve Bank of New York. Geithner, who worked overtime last year negotiating lifelines for storied Wall Street firms as the credit crisis deepened, will also get $50,000 to $100,000 in unused vacation time and comp days.
According to an official at the New York Fed, Geithner’s severance is from a supplementary retirement plan that would have begun paying out when Geithner turned 55. Geithner is 47, and the board decided to give him the cash equivalent, the official said.
Starting Public Sector Jobs With Parting Gifts In Hand [WaPo]
UBS Posts $6.9B Quarter Loss (NYT)
We’ve seen a lot of posturing in the past couple of weeks out of UBS: the pre-announcement on behalf of the government; that they’re not going to close their Investment Banking arm. It appears the effort was well justified:
“UBS, the Swiss banking giant that sought help from the nation’s central bank last year, said Tuesday it lost 8.1 billion Swiss francs, or $6.9 billion, in the fourth quarter as it continued to write down the value of some debt assets and wealth management clients withdrew funds.
The loss, which was bigger than some analysts expected, compares with a not-gain of 13 billion francs in the fourth quarter of 2007 and a profit in the third quarter of last year.”
GM To Cut Jobs (WSJ)
“General Motors will cut 10,000 jobs, or 14% of its salaried work force, this year as the auto maker struggles to cope with a steep drop in world-wide vehicle sales. The job cuts are part of the plan the company submitted to Congress in December to secure bailout funding from the federal government. Also, most salaried employees will see a 3% to 7% pay cut, while executives will get a 10% reduction.”
This Morning Is A Game Of Sit And Wait (Reuters)
The full details are set to be dropped at 11:00 ET, but the MM outlets are calling for a $500B mix of public and private capital to pull the assets of the books of the banks. You have to look at this with skepticism: there needs to be a very real consideration that funds aren’t going to seek to aid the President in his recovery plan, though I admit that the psychological impact of having the two forces united in this goal would be a strong indicator of resolve going forward.
“U.S. Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner will lay out a bank-rescue plan on Tuesday that will rely on public and private funds to take $500 billion of bad assets off banks’ books, sources said.
The plan would also extend a Federal Reserve program aimed at shoring up consumer lending to the troubled mortgage sector, allowing the U.S. central bank to extend up to $1 trillion in loans to holders of a wide variety of asset-backed securities, according to sources.”
Kevin Bacon Lands New HBO Film (AP)
We were all worried when Mr. Hollywood lost his ass in the Madoff run; it’s good to see he’s back at the table making some money:
“The 50-year-old actor was in town for the D.C. premiere of his new HBO film “Taking Chance,” at the Motion Picture Association of America. The film premieres Feb. 21 on HBO.
$$$ Gretchen Morgenson, Please Step Down From Your High Horse [1-2]
$$$ The case for bankers [Slate]
$$$ Paging Bernie-boy: The man who helps people disappear [Times Online]
Re: John Mack’s offer last week to Morgan Stanley IBD analysts: apparently the buyout options were put on the table for second and thirds only, the deal being $27,000 and $32,000, respectively, to walk away from the Lebanese Lothario. Supposedly, they’ve got ten days to make a decision, ahead of the bank’s additional round of cuts. Knowing how indecisive the MS’ers can be, and that the number of other firms offering free desserts is few and far between, this is going to be a tough one. So let’s lend a hand:
Add Dartmouth to the list of crashed endowments:
Dartmouth College, the smallest school in the Ivy League, will fire 60 employees after its endowment value fell $700 million, or 18 percent, because of the global recession.
An additional 70 employees have accepted buyouts and 28 others will have their hours reduced, the college in Hanover, New Hampshire, said today in a statement. The school will increase undergraduate tuition 4.8 percent, raising the total cost of attendance to $49,974 a year, starting in September, and will expand financial aid.
Dartmouth joins Harvard University and Yale University among Ivy League schools in the northeastern U.S. that are slashing budgets after fund losses. Harvard, in Cambridge, Massachusetts, lost 22 percent, not including investments in private equity and real estate, in the four months ended Oct. 31, and said its losses for the fiscal year may be 30 percent. Yale in New Haven, Connecticut, said its endowment fell 25 percent in five months. Outlays from Dartmouth’s fund contribute 35 percent of the budget, excluding professional schools.
Maybe they will extend summer break?
Dartmouth to Cut 60 Jobs After 18% Endowment Decline [Bloomberg]
