Tags: Barney Frank, Ben Bernanke
10:03: Congresscritters wander into the hearing room.
Frank: There is no option other to work with the existing system. Sure, we have to bail out the bankers that you hate, but this is the first important step in totally revamping the financial system in the way we think it should be reconstructed. So just relax, jumpy public you. Relax. There will be plenty of time for hangings (easy there Waxman, we haven’t forgotten your dreams) once we [put out the fire/let the flood waters recede/quell the masses]. Really, what I’m trying to say is that without universal healthcare we just have no way to fix anything. Right? Right, ‘kay-thanks-bye.
Paul: I’ve been telling you idiots that this system has been doomed to failure for decades. Inflating this bubble again is a total misunderstanding. Hey, did you notice I shined up my congressional pin this morning? I was sort of expecting the cameras today, you know.
CNBC: Ok, we were here to watch the Beard, not you idiots. BREAKTIME.
(We should have just stuck with CSPAN).
Beard: Let me read from a dense stack of old economic texts with current events woven in to convince you that they are relevant to our activities over the last several weeks.
Dealbreaker Commenter: The guy over Bernanke’s right shoulder has an incredible amount of red hair.
Editor: That’s John Thain in disguise.
Barrett: How about judicial cramdowns? Huh?
Beard: Yeah, I’m going to just dodge that question, thanks.
Kanjorski: Hey, so the rumor is going around that we weren’t on the verge of disaster, and I’m sort of fearful that this will be used to argue that we are a bunch of idiots likely to do more harm than good. So, can you reassure us that we were totally fucked?
Beard: Yes… well…
Frank: You! With the pager! I’m going to stick this gavel where it doesn’t shine if you don’t turn that thing off.
Beard: Yeah, we were fucked. Seriously.
Paul: Seriously, what has to happen for you to think that stimulus might be a worthless joke or even a dangerous mistake?
Beard: Well, if inflation goes crazy, I’ll know I was wrong.
Paul: So if I were to ask you…
Frank: Nope! Time to vote! Everyone head for the playground! Not you, John Thain in disguise. You sit right there.
Frank: Sit your asses back down and let’s go.
Maloney: Hey, Obama got a lot of applause when he said the bank bailout was not about helping banks but about helping people. So, what do you think? Oh, and I have some homework for you to complete.