Here's hoping, if you're up to get down with some batshit-manifest! We're a little late for round two; I'm okay with this but if we missed anything besides "When I say 'b' you say 'lah' 'b!' 'lah!' 'b!' 'lah!'" let us know.
Rep. Dennis Moore: How much taxpayer money did your company receive in the last five months, and how much money did you personally steal from us in 2008?
Stumpf: Wells Fargo received $25 billion and I got $850,000 in comp, my bonus will be decided in February.
Pandit: $45 bn in TARP; my salary was a million, no bonus. And, like I said before, $1 in salary next year, no bonus.
Mack: $10 bn in TARP. My salary was $800,00, no bonus (just like last year).
Logue: $2 bn in TARP, one million in salary, no bonus.
Lewis: $15 bn in TARP (*for 2008*), $1.5 million salary, no incentives.
Kelly: $3 bn in TARP, my salary is $1 million, no bonus.
Dimon: $25 bn in TARP, my salary is $1 million, no bonus
Blankfein: $10 bn in TARP, $600,000 salary, no bonus.
Rep. Michael Capuano, Maxine Water's brother from another mother: Are any of you lending money for credit default swaps? How many of you directly or indirectly engaged in CDOs? And how many of your banks had or currently have special investment vehicles, those off the books unregulated subsidiaries of the banks. So basically, all or most of you engaged in the fraud that caused this crisis. I CAN'T BELIEVE NO ONE'S PROSECUTED YOU. Oh, but we'll find out...we'll find out!...You'll be answering these questions in court some day. You come to us on your bicycles, selling girl scout cookies, after helping Mother Theresa, and you're saying we won't do it again? And we're supposed to believe you? Are we? You learned your lesson? Did you? And now you're saying 'sorry, trust us, we don't want the money.' INTERESTING. No one's ever come to me and said you must take billions of dollars. NO ONE'S EVER SAID THAT TO ME!!! I don't really have a question, but I was told I could have the five minutes.
Rep. William Lacy: Look me in the eye, give it to me straight. How many more losses are out there?
Stumpf: This is all about jobs. (Remember, I'm pro-jobs.)
Pandit: I have to agree, it's about unemployment. But this cycle is different, so it's difficult to forecast (could Citi have no more losses? Who's to say, really? If you want a number, I'll go with 50 bn, next quarter.)
Mack: I agree with my colleagues.
Moving on:
Rep. Joe Baca: Did you think the bailout was necessary?
Blankfein: Not at the time...now I do.
Lewis agrees with Blankfein.
Baca: You've said a lot of the probs have been from the credit lines. WELL- most of you have been guilty of peddling credit cards like crack to junkie whores, for example, my daughter, who received an offer for a free credit card in the mail a few years back. What do you have to say to that?
[blank stares]
The Congressmen have to go vote on something, so we're adjourned 'til then. While we wait, here's the text of Capuano's planned remarks, which were cut short by the five-minute time limit, for your viewing pleasure:
"No Mr. Frank, my time's not up. You know what you can do with your five minutes? You can take them, and shove them up your ass-- I'm finished when I say I'm finished. Now, where was I? Oh right, the crooks before me who, mark my words, are going to be made prison bitches if it's the last thing I do. Oh, you're sorry? You're sorry? YOU'RE SORRY? Too little, too late, cockbags. Are you laughing, Pandit? ARE YOU DARING TO LAUGH AT ME? Okay, I have more rhetorical questions that I want answers to-- how many of you have fucked your mothers? How many? I'll take your silence to mean all. How many of you directly participated in the Third Reich? Oh, you were too young to have done so? Bull shit, all of it! More questions: specifically, who among you would rather blow a goat than put in one day of honest work? The answer is all of you, you LYING, THIEVING, SICKS SONS OF BITCHES. Answer me! No, shut up. I said shut up, Lewis. You know what I have a right mind to do? Come down, and take off my belt and go down the line and make each and every one of you pay. I'm not going to do that because there are armed guards in here but so help me Barney Frank I want to. Do you understand me? Don't answer that, just shut up! I said SHUT UP, go fuck yourselves."
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 2:00PM
who is this wack job senator speaking now w/ the striped tie????
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 2:02PM
I'm embarrassed by our government, can we start over and work on electing people who aren't mildly retarded?
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 2:02PM
@1, the one who doesn't know the difference between the two chambers of congress?
no, that's you.
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 2:03PM
Has anyone ever seen Erin Burnett from behind? Decent? I saw Maria Bartoromo throw out the first pitch at a Yankee game and her butt was the size of a house. I honestly can't understand why that Citigroup guy saw in her other than the novelty of getting head from someone who's on TV.
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 2:04PM
Listen to these bastard Congressmen. Jesus we are fucked.
Posted by chernevik , Feb 11, 2009 2:07PM
They've noticed that money isn't fungible. Can we get them to apply that to their various subsidy programs?
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 2:10PM
"But basically you come up to us today, riding in your bicycles, after buying Girl Scout cookies and helping out Mother Theresa, telling us - We are sorry, we didn't mean it, we won't do it again, trust us. - Well, I have some people in my constituency that actually robbed some of your banks, and they said the same thing, they are sorry, they didn't mean it, they won't do it again, just let'em out."
Rep. Michael Capuano, congressmen from my college town
He wins the prize for comedian of the day.
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 2:10PM
Dumb = Wall Street
and Dumber = Congress
need I say more?
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 2:11PM
I'm a mess without you. I miss you so damn much. I miss being with you, I miss being near you. I miss your laugh. I miss your scent; I miss your musk. When this all gets sorted out, I think you and me should get an apartment together.
Posted by Anal_yst , Feb 11, 2009 2:11PM
jesus christ I'm serious this time, I'm going to Aruba next month and not coming back, my god this is retarded
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 2:12PM
"Is it true that in -- in the year 1950 you devised the murder of the heads of the so-called "five families" in New York to assume and consolidate your nefarious power?"
Posted by ccs , Feb 11, 2009 2:14PM
@10 Is your name Natale?
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 2:14PM
Everytime a Representative speaks a dollar dies.
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 2:14PM
oh. my. god.
blankfein is the jewiest jew i've ever seen. no wonder goldman makes so much money.
-borat
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 2:15PM
Just remember, these are the people who Paul Krugman thinks can do a better job of capital allocation than the market.
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 2:16PM
I felt like I was watching a movie with the monologue this guy spewed out.
There's a reason why these people are in the House and not in Senate.
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 2:20PM
@16
Senators have to be at least somewhat intelligent and knowledgeable. The House of Reps is exactly what it's supposed to be - a reflection of the broader U.S. population - and thus consists of idiots.
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 2:21PM
HOLY SHIT, did the congress man, just say it was the banks fault for signing people up for credit cards, and making them spend to much money, and wanting the banks to be held accountable for it?
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 2:25PM
Too gonzo, didn't breathe.
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 2:25PM
this senator is scolding the CEOs for NOT lending while simultaneously accusing them of lendin too much ..
we'd be better off in zimbabwe
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 2:26PM
@18 In fairness, the t-shirts they give out have mind control serum which makes you spend too much money.
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 2:26PM
I'm moving to the Congo and taking my chances.
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 2:26PM
@17 +1
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 2:27PM
I especially liked when Maxine Water said that she's fought against both redlining and predatory lending.
So you used to be mad about the banks not lending you money now you're mad that they did?
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 2:29PM
#15
#15
#15
#15
Most astute comment I have read this side of Michael Lewis.
A++, cannolis all around.
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 2:30PM
This is what you get when you don't vote, people!
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 2:30PM
@15, I couldn't agree more. The idea that the government can allocate capital better than the private sector is crazy. If you want to force the private sector to invest, send everyone a check that will expire in 1 year, good for investment only, cashable to the UST.
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 2:30PM
i love how our government accuses the banks of 'giving out' money. banks don't give out money you fking morons, they LEND money with the expectation that the recipient will PAY IT BACK.
Posted by blndebnker , Feb 11, 2009 2:31PM
Okay people, prior to commenting, please know a few things :
1. This is the House, not the Senate. Therefore these are Representatives, not Senators.
2. To does not equal too; there does not equal their or they're; you're does not equal your, etc.
That said, this whole thing is the most ridiculous dog and pony show.
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 2:33PM
http://www.nypost.com/seven/02112009/news/politics/congress_hopping_carts_154496.htm
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 2:34PM
@17, yeah because Chris Dodd and Schumer are "somewhat intelligent and knowledgeable?" Not one fucking Democrat voted to remove the "buy American" clause from this mess of a stimulus bill. Not one. "Somewhat intelligent and knowledgeable" doesn't equate to protectionist imbecile to me.
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 2:34PM
Does your doggy bite - no
munch-bite-munch
I though you said your doggy didn't bite
That is not my doggy
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 2:35PM
Is zero knowledge of finance a prerequisite for being on the finance committee?
Posted by BlackSwan06 , Feb 11, 2009 2:41PM
well, something I've said several times in different places:
The financial literacy of the average American is fairly poor.
The financial literacy of the average congressman is fairly poor.
They depend on their staffers to fan out and school up on the issues that their Representative needs to understand in time for that Representative to be able to talk about it. Staffers are generally policy wonks, not analyst-types.
Thus, what you're seeing is the cumulative attempt of last-minute cramming to make sure that certain statements get on the Congressional Record and occasionally, just occasionally, a real question pops out.
Did she just say "hist-er-onics" instead of histrionics?
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 2:43PM
I love watching the world burn and the after school specials will only get better.
Stimulus Schimulus We Reject You
Air date: next week
Gatorade Over State Aid Quench Your Ass You Ain't Getting Shit
Air date: mid March PST
It's So Cold In The D
Air Date: end of March
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 2:43PM
Barbara Boxer is living proof that minimal intelligence is not prerequisite senate membership.
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 2:44PM
Capuno is the most financially ignorant person I've heard in a LONG, LONG time. Why he's even allowed to have a checkbook, let alone sit on the Senate Financial Services Committee, is beyond me.
"I can't believe you haven't been prosecuted for your SIVs. I don't know if it's illegal or not, but if it is, you'll be hearing from me!"
"How many of you use CDSs?"
One of them should have responded: "uh... all of us?"
That's like faulting a homeowner for having homeowners insurance after the insurer defaults when their house burns down.
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 2:44PM
34 Perfectly true. BTW, what do you think about privatizing soc sec? Establishing individual accounts that people would self manage. I rest my case.
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 2:48PM
34 Isn't it ironic though that the lack of financial savvy on the part of most Americans is something that the banks have exploited handily? Including credit cards and all of the more exotic forms of home lending (i.e. anything other than a 15-30 year self amortizing mortgage).
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 2:49PM
congress in a nutshell:
here's a great way to get the economy going again - why don't you evil banks just start giving out mortgages to everybody! why don't you also start helping developers out too by giving them tarp funds for new commercial real estate projects, which will create jobs! we don't get it...
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 3:01PM
Hilarious! thanks for the rest of Capuno's statement...
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 3:02PM
Maxine Waters to the MAX!
Posted by merkin capital partners , Feb 11, 2009 3:04PM
family of 4 $37k gross...THEY AREN'T EVEN PAYING TAXES so stfu.
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 3:05PM
Why are these Reps asking banks what they can do to help out the average American?
These are corporations who exist to MAKE A PROFIT...not a charity.
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 3:09PM
is it any wonder gold has been rallying the last couple of days. what a bunch of clowns in Congress.
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 3:12PM
Capuono is a moron. The fact that many other committee members are apparently financially illeterate, his ridiculous rant was nothing more than political grandstanding. He made no attempt add anything constructive to the debate. What a bozo.
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 3:16PM
@ 46 - completely agree w/you. however, if you are going to bash someone for being illiterate*, you should probably spell it right.
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 3:16PM
Maxine Waters 2012
The Change We Need
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 3:17PM
@47 LOL!
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 3:19PM
Yes Maxine - let us make borrowing easier for all Americans - it is their God given right to borrow money. Let us not consider if they will be able to pay back the money - that is discrimination. Oh wait - if they default on all these crappy loans the financial market will collapse again. Then we will have to endure more congressional hearings about how the banks need to lend more money.....STOP THE INSANITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by BlackSwan06 , Feb 11, 2009 3:19PM
@34 - I'm not totally against the concept of privatization, but again, the devil is in the details. There are degrees of self management - there's handing the gas station guy an E*Trade account and a password, kissing him on the forehead and yelling "good luck!", and allowing someone to make regular contributions to a boring, conservative portfolio managed by a boring, conservative manager and phoning him up to rebalance it periodically.
@39 - I'm not going to put it all on the banks shoulders - underwriters, mortgage brokers, consumers who got starry eyed when they found out they could get in a McMansion with an interest-only and "forgot" about building equity... along the chain there are plenty who could have raised the "bullshit" flag.
Posted by Anal_yst , Feb 11, 2009 3:23PM
@12
No, although I was there around the same time she was a few years back.
I've gotta place to stay there, so, living expenses should be relatively minimal, minus the booze, I mean.
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 3:24PM
51 True, re the BS flag. But why raise it? It was a great gig for all involved, while it lasted.
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 3:28PM
Rep. Michael Capuno admitted that he represents a bunch of bank robbers in his district, and that its not fair they have to go to jail while the execs go free.
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 3:33PM
So Congress on the one hand is criticizing the banks for being to liberal with their lending, chastising them for "giving out money" and simultaneously telling them to do just that. They have gone full retard, and it is not good for your career to go full retard.
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 3:34PM
I wonder what Baritiromo's ass tastes like.
DJ Chazzy Gas
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 3:40PM
if you are in the lending business.. please raise your hand
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 3:41PM
@11 that made me laugh out loud. thank you.
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 3:44PM
@13 - best comment yet.
Posted by LDN PE , Feb 11, 2009 3:54PM
Clearly the members of the House are clueless, but sadly the quality of the panel is all over the place:
Impressive: State Street, Morgan Stanley, JP Morgan
Morons: Goldman Sachs, Bank of America, BoNY
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 4:01PM
The House proves that you don't need to know much to get on the mic..check one two checkity check check
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 4:04PM
@4 - Some people like a big ass, so STFU.
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 4:24PM
good ol lloyd was smart not to open his mouth too much. don't want to draw any unnecessary attention to the fact that he took home way more than those other losers in '08 (for '07). he doesn't need a bonus this year. that $73,000,000.00 check should tide him over until his '09 payment.
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 4:25PM
good ol lloyd was smart not to open his mouth too much. don't want to draw any unnecessary attention to the fact that he took home way more than those other losers in '08 (for '07). he doesn't need a bonus this year. that $73,000,000.00 check should tide him over until his '09 payment.
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 4:27PM
good ol lloyd was smart not to open his mouth too much. don't want to draw any unnecessary attention to the fact that he took home way more than those other losers in '08 (for '07). he doesn't need a bonus this year. that $73,000,000.00 check should tide him over until his '09 payment.
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 4:45PM
@54
I used to live in his district while in school. His district includes Harvard University. He may have been referring to Harvard MBAs when he was talking about bank robbers, though very few of them end up in jail unfortunately.
(I did go to a better school down Mass Ave. by the river).
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 9:19PM
@ all you ass clowns! If the fucking douches on Wall Street were so fucking smart, they would not be called before these congressional/senate inquiries to testify. Not one of you has acknowledged the real problem - you out-smarted yourselves! All I read on this forum is how smart you guys are. You all must have skipped risk management class, but I forgot, you were playing with other peoples money. Now you are out there with your hat in your fucking hand while waiting in line for you unemployment benefits to start. Someone take responsibility for what happened, and then maybe the rest rest of us dummies will let you smart fucks off the hook!
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 9:31PM
67 Good point, but what do you mean take responsibility? Admit we were wrong? That's not going to solve anything. Essentially the grease gun that is Wall Street is empty and the economy needs grease to get moving. So Wall Street goes hat in hand to the govt. What else can they do? Cant raise new private capital without essentially wiping out all the current owners. It may eventaully come to that, but we're not there yet.
Posted by guest , Feb 11, 2009 11:02PM
Does anyone else find it odd that Ken Lewis made the most of them all? And he's the one making the biggest stink over executive pay?
Posted by guest , Feb 12, 2009 10:07AM
that institution that most of you think is retarded is the same one providing you access to your profits via the central bank and is also the one keeping the peasants from walking over and raping you with some stones.
you ungrateful sacks of shit.