• 06 Feb 2009 at 12:23 PM

The Magic Of Television

cnbc.pngNormally, this wouldn’t bother me. Perhaps it is because it is Friday. Perhaps it is because I had to watch the Ken Lewis interview. Perhaps it is the chemical burns I have after shaking hands with Robert Rubin the other day. Whatever the case, this threatens to send me screaming into the darkness today:
What possible utility is there in a seven-way split screen? Was some Video Engineers Full Employment Act passed while I wasn’t looking?

Comments (60)

  1. Posted by guest | February 6, 2009 at 12:26 PM

    Didn’t you see the Daily Show piece on the Deca-pundit-agog or whatever they called it when they had 10 talking heads on screen at once?

  2. Posted by guest | February 6, 2009 at 12:26 PM

    Was it last week they had 10 or was it 12? They need to set it up like the old Hollywood Squares set.

  3. Posted by Equity Private | February 6, 2009 at 12:27 PM

    It’s like men’s razor blades. Didn’t the Onion do a piece on Gillette skipping the 5 blade generation and going directly to 7 blades to address the “blade gap”?

  4. Posted by guest | February 6, 2009 at 12:28 PM

    I prefer Brady Bunch format.

  5. Posted by Lowly Assistant | February 6, 2009 at 12:28 PM

    Not a fan of the 7/split, but any period of time leaving Dennis Kneale as small as possible is a-okay with me.

  6. Posted by guest | February 6, 2009 at 12:30 PM

    they had a 10 WAY split the other day
    10!!!

  7. Posted by guest | February 6, 2009 at 12:32 PM

    @2 – way to steal that joke from bill simmons

  8. Posted by Killjoy | February 6, 2009 at 12:32 PM

    @EP – Fuck Everything, We’re Doing Five
    http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33930

  9. Posted by Equity Private | February 6, 2009 at 12:33 PM

    #8:
    That’s it! Thanks.

  10. Posted by guest | February 6, 2009 at 12:33 PM

    Yep, they were definitely sporting the Decabox last week. It’s like a fucking bingo card.
    Instead of calling letters and numbers you just get to mark the square of whichever underachieving douche-nozzle is yammering aimlessly about topics they don’t understand.
    Thank god for Bloomberg.

  11. Posted by guest | February 6, 2009 at 12:34 PM

    They need Ann B. Davis on as a guest some day. The one raised eyebrow look when glancing up at Dennis Kneale would be priceless

  12. Posted by CapitolCapital | February 6, 2009 at 12:34 PM

    I didn’t know they remade the brady bunch.

  13. Posted by guest | February 6, 2009 at 12:40 PM

    CNBC referred to it themselves as the “Octobox” when they had 8 on…

  14. Posted by guest | February 6, 2009 at 12:41 PM

    @6 – Its the dacabox !

  15. Posted by guest | February 6, 2009 at 12:42 PM
  16. Posted by guest | February 6, 2009 at 12:43 PM

    Perhaps they can put Chaz Gasbags in all 7 squares and he can argue with himself.
    Bafungili! Ohhhhh!

  17. Posted by guest | February 6, 2009 at 12:44 PM

    taking the “twit-split” to its (absurd) conclusion. . . “i’m squeezing your head . . .i’m pinching your face”

  18. Posted by guest | February 6, 2009 at 12:45 PM

    It would look better if they all turned around to see the back of the head view.

  19. Posted by guest | February 6, 2009 at 12:50 PM

    especially when 4 of them are sitting at the same damn desk

  20. Posted by guest | February 6, 2009 at 12:50 PM

    @7, shit you might be right, i did read that article a few weeks back.

  21. Posted by guest | February 6, 2009 at 12:51 PM

    EP – Nice feint maneuver, but the real story here is your “shaking hands with Robert Rubin the other day” comment. Pray tell, was Vik in the room with or without the dunce hat?

  22. Posted by Investorcluzo | February 6, 2009 at 12:52 PM

    why wasn’t chaz included? I’m sure dk would have got him worked up…I want to see maria, dk and chuck discussing the “survivability” of kenny boy. I didn’t see the interview (had a mtg), but from the live blog – looks like mb was doing her job as fluffer extraordinaire…

  23. Posted by guest | February 6, 2009 at 12:54 PM

    too Sybil – couldn’t look

  24. Posted by guest | February 6, 2009 at 12:55 PM

    Dylan Ratigan is here among us. I can sense it. He is lurking in the shadows….

  25. Posted by guest | February 6, 2009 at 12:56 PM

    @14, its dEcabox you tool!

  26. Posted by BSD | February 6, 2009 at 12:56 PM

    EP – if instead of hanging with Rubin you spent some time with everyone’s favorite midget hedge fund manager/art collector you would be able to appreciate the glory of having 20 streams of useless information shone down upon you.

  27. Posted by guest | February 6, 2009 at 12:57 PM

    @10
    agreed CNBC is baby crying scream-feast. bring erin back to bloomberg and let’s never talk of cnbc again.

  28. Posted by guest | February 6, 2009 at 12:58 PM

    C Gaspamocha will be having his lunch today in the Equinox locker room. Clothing is optional. Everyone is invited as long as he gets to scoop you first.

  29. Posted by guest | February 6, 2009 at 1:00 PM

    The number of boxes is a useful metric of economic distress. More boxes = more trouble. Much like the Chris King Headset Composite Index. see
    http://bikesnobnyc.blogspot.com/2008/11/no-hope-no-pants-ckhci-and-sscxwc.html
    I actually doing some modeling around this and hope to be launching a fund shortly.

  30. Posted by guest | February 6, 2009 at 1:09 PM

    Joe Kernan was making fun of the Oct-a-box this morning. He was screaming at the screen, saying he wanted Twelve Boxes, not 10, even though they only had 4 people captured on camera. (I guess it was confirmed they do not have the ability to do twelve boxes.)
    The booth, started to put Joe in more than one box, when they were all filled up– Joe said, ok now everybody start talking/yelling over each other.
    They cracked a joke about people “not being up yet” ie they were blatantly making fun of their on air co-workers.

  31. Posted by TheBlackstoneGroupie | February 6, 2009 at 1:09 PM

    I truly enjoy when Gasbag takes cell phone calls when he is in the Octabox.
    And if CNBC does not renew Maria BARFiromo’s contract in March, that would improve CNBC so much.
    Besides being married to the son of a notorious 1990s “green mailer,” what makes her so special??? Kinda scary her birthday in on September 11, and is the same age as my sister.
    Actually, just fire Maria and hire Erin Callan to replace her. Erin could then be what she has always dreamed since graduating from Harvard, a “media celebrity!”
    Besides, I need Erin to help me with my taxes…how does one file when you receive six K-1 tax schedules in March, but have until October 15 to do it???

  32. Posted by guest | February 6, 2009 at 1:22 PM

    The point of the split screen and for the moderator to be totally inept is that it enables some of the participants to get out certain things while everyone is yelling. You have to listen very carefully to hear “the truths” that are uttered as they are often missed by everyone talking over one another. This will allow CNBC to say, later on, that they reported this or that. No one says every little tidbit of importance has to be uttered alone by the person taking credit. The best tidbits are uttered during these conversational gang bangs.

  33. Posted by guest | February 6, 2009 at 1:26 PM

    Wasn’t Maria one of the original founders of the network? She is not going anywhere. There are way to many people who will “only talk with Maria”.

  34. Posted by guest | February 6, 2009 at 1:31 PM

    @32 unfortunately in my career on the street i have never seen intelligent or successful people work that way….CNBC=EPIC FAIL –just like the old saying for academics, if you can’t make it in the real world –> report on it….

  35. Posted by guest | February 6, 2009 at 1:31 PM

    What is a gourd flute? Should I be long gourd flute?

  36. Posted by guest | February 6, 2009 at 1:40 PM

    anyone who will only talk to maria does so b/c they know it will be softball city

  37. Posted by guest | February 6, 2009 at 1:51 PM

    @27 Actually CNBC looks like its trying to decide if it goes the FOX Business way, with its fluzy reporters on the floor being seen going commando, or go highbrow with intelligent anchors a la bloomberg…

  38. Posted by guest | February 6, 2009 at 1:52 PM

    @27 Erin left Bloomberg because the pay is weak.

  39. Posted by guest | February 6, 2009 at 1:55 PM

    @33- Its “two” not “to” and the period goes inside the apostrafe after “Maria”. Unless your from Bermingham.
    SPODE

  40. Posted by guest | February 6, 2009 at 2:00 PM

    Oct-o-box
    1. Chaz Gasbagool, live from the mens room of the midtown Palm
    2. Dylan Ratigan’s half empty bottle of L.A. Looks Gel
    3. Erin Burnett’s upper thigh
    4. Sham-wow dude
    5. Ken Lewis in a Slanket
    6. Tim Geithner’s H&R rep
    7. The infamous Charlotte madame
    8. Bess, flying over the Hudosn.

  41. Posted by guest | February 6, 2009 at 2:19 PM

    TheBlackstonrGroupie……like your stuff. Concernedcitzen I have missed lately. It looks like you’ve all got this cable crap all figured out….keep at it and MAYBE someone will listen and DO something.

  42. Posted by guest | February 6, 2009 at 2:38 PM

    @8 who’s the dude pictured on the Onion article? they couldn’t find a headshot of Kilts?

  43. Posted by guest | February 6, 2009 at 2:53 PM

    39, pls tell me you’re joking and being ironic, slathering your critique with misspellings and all.

  44. Posted by guest | February 6, 2009 at 3:01 PM

    @39 SPODE we all know about Eulalie.

  45. Posted by guest | February 6, 2009 at 4:18 PM

    EP: Forget Garbagarino- CNBC is Fox II. They cant even keep their own fantasies straight. Sad day whaen we have to turn to sales/marketers desks for the truth. Charlie is deadwood.

  46. Posted by Anal_yst | February 6, 2009 at 4:32 PM

    @41
    Are you insane?

  47. Posted by mw | February 6, 2009 at 4:38 PM

    fuck Kneale he and Gaspo next to show up at the Pink Slip party

  48. Posted by mw | February 6, 2009 at 4:39 PM

    fuck Kneale he and Gaspo next to show up at the Pink Slip party

  49. Posted by TheBlackstoneGroupie | February 6, 2009 at 4:52 PM

    I have my admirers, Anal_probe :p

  50. Posted by guest | February 6, 2009 at 5:28 PM

    WHAT ARE YOU TALKING PEOPLE?
    THERE ARE TWO WAYS HOW I USE THOSE BOXES:
    1. as a dart board
    2. target shooting (using plastic gun with rubber).
    yes, I’m employed just in case someone would ask how’s unemployment treating me

  51. Posted by guest | February 6, 2009 at 5:29 PM

    WHAT ARE YOU TALKING PEOPLE?
    THERE ARE TWO WAYS HOW I USE THOSE BOXES:
    1. as a dart board
    2. target shooting (using plastic gun with rubber).
    yes, I’m employed just in case someone would ask how’s unemployment treating me

  52. Posted by guest | February 6, 2009 at 5:38 PM

    #s 50 and 51
    sorry, i didn’t mean to send it twice

  53. Posted by guest | February 6, 2009 at 5:59 PM

    ALERT ! Note your calendar.
    Erin Burnett needs Octo-box,too, on Streetsigns this coming Monday,the 9th, from 2-3pm. The boxes would be arranged in the order of box #:
    1- Erin reporting live from Dubai
    2- Erin reporting live from India
    3- Erin reporting live from Russia
    4- Erin reporting live from Libya
    5- Erin reporting live from Estonia
    6. Erin reporting live from London
    7- Erin reporting live from Turkey
    8- Erin reporting live from Yemen

  54. Posted by guest | February 6, 2009 at 6:25 PM

    Erin Burnett is to be crowned as “the Most Well-travelled Business Anchor” for 2008.
    No wonder some NBCU employees were issued pink slips.

  55. Posted by stimpy tec | February 6, 2009 at 11:58 PM

    It reminds me of Mortal Kombat character selection.

  56. Posted by guest | February 7, 2009 at 10:50 AM

    The best part is when they show the people from the top row standing next to each other a few minutes later.

  57. Posted by guest | February 7, 2009 at 12:13 PM

    I hear the trading floor at Morgan STanley switches over to Fox Business now at noon and they turn up the volume at 2 when hot-lips Claman comes on. CNBC who?

  58. Posted by guest | February 7, 2009 at 12:22 PM

    # 57
    make sense to me….Erin “Bitchy” Burnett didn’t like the fact that CIC has 10% stake in Morgan Stanley. Burnett who? There’s a dumb one at 2-3 pm.

  59. Posted by guest | February 7, 2009 at 12:43 PM

    interesting…
    the company I work with switches channel,too.

  60. Posted by guest | February 7, 2009 at 12:43 PM

    interesting…
    the company I work with switches channel,too.

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