Alright, let’s do this thing.
Franky-boy: “The purposes of this hearing is to formulate what we’ll be doing going forward.” Hopefully all based on the ideas put forth by Maxine Waters.
“There’s anger.”
“There’s confusion.”
There’s magic in the night.
“You, gentlemen, are the recipients of collateral benefit.”
Barney-boy says we can do this the easy way or the hard way: “I urge you strongly to cooperate with us.”
The Rep. from Alabama, who sounds like he’s going to start crying, is hoping God’s gonna pull us out of this; also, he “doesn’t want to hear any name calling,” which we take issue with, knowing that Blankfein has some choice ones for his colleagues.
Rep. Paul Kanjorski: WHERE’S THE MONEY, Lebowski Pandit, Lewis, Blankfein, Mack, guys whose names I can’t recall.
CHARLIE GASPARINO WAS RIGHT! Rep. Jeb Hensarling: “Over the course of this hearing, you will be castigated, publicly pilloried,” and rectally examined.
Rep. Judy Biggert and her constituents are angry.
Rep. David Scott wants to hear that the “$18 billion that went out to you was an abberation.”
Because he’s a sick fuck, Rep. Randy Neugebauer introduces another acronym. “I’m gonna call you TSEs (Taxpayer Supported Entities).”
Barney-boy says we’re gonna do this alphabetically, and supposedly not in order of least to most hair (right).
Reading of the remarks.
Blankfein: “We pay our bonuses based on three factors: “performance of the firm/business unit/individual.”
“Goldman Sachs has never had Golden Parachutes.”
“We look forward to paying back the TARP so we can be free of the burden of your bullshit rules.”
Boy-toy CEO Jamie Dimon is reading his remarks, no surprises here, but we did appreciate the death stare he gave Frank for interrupting him.
“Everyone here bears some measure of responsibility,” though obviously JPMorgan bears less than others, [nods in Citi's general direction, which elicits a mouthed "hey" from Vikula].
Bank of New York Mellon is a “bank for banks.”
Robert Kelly: “We essentially had a gun put to our heads.”
Kelly [voice cracking]: “We have not used any of the funds to pay bonuses.”
“We’ll repay it,” and then some.
Ken Lewis would like to start by making two key points. 1. That John Thain can S a fucking D. and 2. See point #1.
Frank and Friends are not paying any attention to what KL has to say, and are talking amongst themselves during his remarks. KL seems to notice this, which is awk.
State Street’s Ronald Logue gets self-deprecating: “We are the back office of the global financial industry.”
That’s why he’s the Lebanese Lothario: We’ve been so busy drafting the perfect suicide note that we didn’t even notice no one’s been asked if his mic is on! This is rectified withJohn Mack, who says that he was “trying to pull a fast one,” to much laughter.
Apparently Vikram Pandit was able to reschedule his previous engagement.
VP purports to hold up this report, though surely it’s just a bunch of blank sheets of paper, which someone should call him on.
Sidebar: though Barney-boy claims they’re going in alphabetical order, do you think VP requested to sit next to Mack?
Pandit: “I streamlined our corp business, I put in new risk personnel, I got rid of color copies.”
I would like to say something about the airplane. “We did not adjust quickly enough to this new world. I canceled the order. [Now] I get the new reality.”
Dream big!: “My goal is to return Citi to profitability A-sap.”
Hey-o: Overall corporate expenses at Wells Fargo declined 1 percent last year.
Be honest John Stumpf. Did Chris Cox write this line? “Wells Fargo is proud to be an ‘engine’ for the growth of the country.”
Barney-boy: If you want to give back the money, we’ll take it.
What channel is it on?
o/u combined total net worth at that table
$1 Billion
http://www.cspan.org/Watch/C-SPAN3_wm.aspx
Why do we let people from Alabama sit on finance committees?
over
Wow, that Rep Waters is a real finance wizard huh? “I will reveal how these banks made money on fees from the money that the government gave them.” This woman is going to introduce the idea of interest to us all…..
Chuck Prince got out at the right time. Nobody on the Hill mentions his name, and Vikram gets all the flack.
@5 because the Alabama representatives are a lot more sensible the fuckheads from Conn., Mass. and NY. Next question please.
@5 because the Alabama representatives are a lot more sensible than the fuckheads from Conn., Mass. and NY. Next question please.
Boring. Why can’t we have an Asian government where people put people through tables and what not?
I’m not one of them elitists and I think it’s good that Everyman be represented in the Congress. But, come on, the caucuses have some responsibility when handing out committee assignments.
I’m ok with Maxine Waters having 1/435 votes in the House, but there is no earthly reason for her to be on a finance committee.
Can’t they create some faux committees to park the members who have no clue about anything?
@12: Until last year, what do you think the Finance Committee *was?*
Gasparino is under that desk somewhere, but where? Which committee member has a sly grin on his face?
Good grief…Maxine Waters…….this country went from one of the best fledging ideas in history 230 years ago, to a total palms-out shitshow today.
I “used” the money exactly as per… look, man, I’ve got certain information, all right? Certain things have come to light. And, you know, has it ever occurred to you, that, instead of, uh, you know, running around, uh, uh, blaming me, you know, given the nature of all this new sh–, you know, I-I-I-I… this could be a-a-a-a lot more, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, complex, I mean, it’s not just, it might not be just such a simple… uh, you know?
Hey! Obama.
Waters was included by Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (“CREW”) among its 2005 list of the thirteen “Most Corrupt Members of Congress” list[10] and on the 2006 list[11] for “her exercise of this power to financially benefit her daughter, husband and son.” She was not included on subsequent lists.[12][13][14
she also called the LA riots an understandable rebellion. Pls die now.
I think Maxine Waters broke.
God I hate politicians. They’re all fvcking morons!
The Congress is supposed to be representative of the diverse electorate of this country.
Maxine Waters and Barney Frank represent their subsequent slice of the American pie.
That being said, they are also members of the Democratic Party.
Change We Can Believe In.
It was a great experiment while it lasted. I’m happy I was here to see the tail end of it.
I draw you all back to the story of the KGB agent that predicted the end of the US as you’ve know it.
I guess he was right.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123051100709638419.html
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bmxyj6iInMc
Chaz Gas just scooped up Maxine Waters.
When will a committee be appointed to investigate Barney Frank’s role in the subprime mortgage crisis? Oh right – when they arrest Ted Kennedy for drowning Mary Jo Kopechne.
@ PatrickBateman
Thank you, coffee successfully snarfed, shirt stained, etc. This is such a freaking sh!tshow, purely so these f’tards in Congress can yell & scream, purely for the entertainment of their constituents, and nadda these guys can do about it (besides just resign and enjoy their millions/billions, but I digress)
When will these fuckwits be calling Hank Paulson to testify? He’s to be found in DC playing at being a deep thinker,so go extract a few deep thoughts from him and hold him accountable.Like a retroactive cap gains tax penalty on his vested GS shares.
@ 7, awesome.
“Ken Lewis would like to start by making two key points. 1. That John Thain can S a fucking D. and 2. See point #1.”
love it
And who said comedy shows on TV were few and far between!! This is better than anything coming out of Hollywood! You can make this sh*t up!
I’m a people person. I deal with the customers so the engineers don’t have to. Don’t you get that? What the hell is wrong with you people!
The irony here is that whereas the erudite liberals from UWS and Columbia Univ trekked all the way to Iowa and Florida and god knows where to ‘participate’ in the ‘Change they can believe in’, their own district has been represented by the paragon of legislative competence and ethical behavior – Charles Rangel – from even before they were born (he wins with 90% votes.)
The media stomped all over Sarah Palin all they could. But folks like Waters? Nothing. If anything they are probably labelled ‘civil rights icons’.
And who said comedy shows on TV were few and far between!! This is better than anything coming out of Hollywood! You can’t make this sh*t up!
How in the fuck did we go from having people like Jefferson, Adams, Washington, and Franklin in Congress to people like Barney Frank and Maxine Waters? Seriously. What the fuck?
John Mack’s comment/joke a moment ago about “trying to pull a fast one” was priceless!
It’d be great if Blankfein had shown up with 2 tractor trailers full of TARP cash, said “Here, take it back. We didn’t want it in the first place”, tell Frank and Co. to “stay the hell out of our business” and just walk out.
None of these guys have the stones to do it, but it would make my day. (Some of them don’t have the means to do so unfortunately).
Tucker Maxine Waters is the best.
I’m a Maxine Waters. What’s a tier one capital ratio?
Why would Mack buy his suits off the rack?
I love this country terribly. But we’re done. we cannot overcome a governmnet made up of these people. We cannot overcome a culture that values diversity over success and achievemnet.
@34 Jefferson, Adams, Washington, and Franklin all came up in an era where hard-work/education was the ONLY thing that could ensure your success (survival for that matter).
Now you can just sit on your ass and suck on the tit of your neighbor through entitlements then decide you want a job and get pushed to the front of the line because of your ethnic heritage.
We’re witnessing the decline and fall of the American civilization.
@40 – Agreed. We are screwed.
I’m Maxine Waters. What’s a “spread”?
Vik: “I appreciate the opportunity to be here to speak with you today. I wasn’t looking forward to vacationing in China at all.”
I live in Dallas. Everything is fine here. So whats the problem?
This is like Survivor. Which bank will be taken over by FDIC Friday afternoon?
Pandit’s attempts to cover up his Indian accent makes my head hurt
Pandit sounds like a trial lawyer, asking for reports to be added to the record.
@41:
Stop vituperating Jews.
Vikki is shouting, no?
@41 come on, let’s not get crazy here. There have always been idiots in congress, and there will always be idiots in congress.
At 11:02 AM did you see how Barney was holding the gavel…quite unusual
“Posted by guest, Feb 11, 2009 11:01AM
@41 come on, let’s not get crazy here. There have always been idiots in congress, and there will always be idiots in congress.”
Sure, but they didn’t have much to do before now.
@51, But when did the percentage of idiots move to 100%? There is not a single member I have even a shred of respect for.
pandit is truly an idiot
@52, doesn’t everybody like phallic objects waved in their face?
- Charlie Gasparino
51, 41 is right. We are watching the decline of American civilization. It is not just the idiots in Congress. It is this new culture of not taking responsibility for your own messes. Everyone from home buyers to Wall Street CEOs are holding their hands out for a bailout when it was their own friggin’ fault they are in this situation. Until we get to the point where people accept the consequences of their own action, the U.S. will regress.
@51 i think the problem arises when the select idiots are tasked with investigating not only a situation they don’t understand, but an entire industry that they are INCAPABLE of understanding. They had the same problem with 8th grade algebra, or in Waters’ case, basic literacy.
This is the financial services committee…they are saying, “this is the best we got” as far as financial understanding goes…and that is truly frightening.
He’s holding the gavel like you would hold a pipe. Or testicles.
No, Donny, these men are nihilists, there’s nothing to be afraid of.
@46 – banks with under $2B in assets are odd-lots. Don’t care about them at all.
If we’re running a death pool, $10B minimum assets.
Barney Frank is a fucking IDIOT.
31:
- Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door – that way Lumbergh can’t see me, heh heh – and, uh, after that I just sorta space out for about an hour.
- Da-uh? Space out?
- Yeah, I just stare at my desk; but it looks like I’m working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch, too. I’d say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work.
This adequately describes my routine now.
Security at the Capital building just tazed Chazzy Gas for trying to steal Barney FranknBean’s gavel.
@EP Yeah, right up until this particular moment in history Congress hasn’t had “much to do”. That’s just an historically ignorant remark.
I don’t like congress either, but I guarantee that for as long as this country has been in existance people have thought that congress was incompetant.
58 sounds like John Meriweather: “I can solve differential equations, therefore I can estimate Russian default risk.”
@62– correction, f*cking idiot with power. totally dangerous.
Did Barney just suggest that these guys take longer lunches? Seriously? I can’t really understand him – can’t they subtitle him or provide a translator like the U.N.?
Frank sounds like he’s eating a turkey leg while talking
70 – a turkey leg?
Mr. Frank, what do we have to do to align your interest with those of the taxpayer?
Apparently, an over-inflated salary isn’t enough. Perhaps some type of bonus structure? Every $1 billion in saved spending you get to bang a male intern?
waiting for Barney Frank to say “People from Phoenix are Phoenicians”.
(any louis ck fans out there?)
I believe what you meant to say was DURKEY Leg.
Three options:
1. TARP
2. Rectal exam via the left horn of the Wall Street bull.
3. “Carriage ride head” through Central Park.
“I gotta go with TARP” – Barney
“I used to go with the bull” – Dimon
“Weealllly?”(saliva flying everywhere) – Barney
“Cause fuck you…that’s why”
“Darkman” Dimon
“@EP Yeah, right up until this particular moment in history Congress hasn’t had “much to do”. That’s just an historically ignorant remark.”
Unless I am gravely mistaken about your age, neither of us have be alive in a period when Congress was poised to do so much permanent damage so quickly.
If you cannot see the difference between drafting motions for censure, debating the Defense Appropriations Bill, passing Sarbanes-Oxley and today, well, we simply don’t have enough common ground to conduct a meaningful conversation.
But, in the interim, feel free to take my statement out of context to serve your own purposes as you see fit.
yes yes yes yes waters is talking
This is an AP headline – “The top members of a key House panel told banking leaders Wednesday they must win over a disgusted public and work with Congress without hesitation to right the deeply troubled financial system.”
Work with Congress without hesitation? I’m sure when they stop laughing on the way back to their repected HQ’s, telling their staff to insulate themselves from Congress’s advise will be top priority!!
Ken Lewis to Maxine Waters:
“I feel like corporal of the universe, not captain of the universe”
Maxine Waters: All my liiiife I had to fight!
Go Maxine, go Maxine.
It’s yer birthday, it’s yer birthday.
Go Maxine, go Maxine…
HAHAHAHAHAHA this is remarkable
(My laughter masks my tears, alas…)
I am Maxine Waters. What are bonds?
HOW DOES THIS BRAINDEAD B;TCH EVEN GET ELECTED.
MAXINE CAN’T EVEN COMPOSE A COHERENT SENTENCE.
SHE IS ONE OF THE MOST MARXIST MEMBERS OF CONGRESS…
THANK YOU Black Hood of LosAngeles for electing this “figuarative daughter of Mugabe”
we are all dumber for listening to that drivel for the last two minutes. may god have mercy on our souls.
HOW DOES THIS BRAINDEAD B;TCH EVEN GET ELECTED.
MAXINE CAN’T EVEN COMPOSE A COHERENT SENTENCE.
SHE IS ONE OF THE MOST MARXIST MEMBERS OF CONGRESS…
THANK YOU Black Hood of LosAngeles for electing this “figuarative daughter of Mugabe”
Maxine Watters suffers from some sort o mental illness they haven’t classified yet.
I read EP’s comment as meaning that the IDIOTS didn’t have much to do before now, not that Congress didn’t. But that could just be me.
And I stand by my earlier statement that part of the problem is that until recently the Finance Committee was where you parked senior idiots so they could go on junkets that Dimon et al paid for. However, now that we actually need them the ramifications of this practice are proving quite dire.
@ 76. agree 100%
Why would any sensible person vote for Maxine Waters ? Is she a moron or what ?
Maxine Waters in absolutely priceless… just priceless.
Lewis – “I don’t know what you’re talking about”
Vicula meanwhile smiles in a non-threatening way
Don’t you just have the feeling that Maxine is going to lurch up, whip off her jacket to reveal a colorful moo-moo and start singing, “R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me, R-E-S…”
90: Yes, she is. However, as in all politics the idea is to vote their scoundrels out and our scoundrels in. She looks like them, she talks like them, she has memorized the right slogans, she brings home the bacon and votes the Party line. She’s always convinced that everything is somebody else’s fault and that everybody needs more free stuff. She’s basically a perfect member of Congress so far as 95% of the population of her district and her party are concerned. Why WOULDN’T they vote for her?
@ 5
Jim Rogers, as eccentric as he, wipes his ass with your net worth and the net worth of all your bosses, if you still have a job.
Rammer Jammer Yellowhammer, you ignorant and poor Guido.
Maxine Waters wants her TARP baby money back.
I genuinely felt bad for Ken Lewis in that moment. I didn’t have a fucking clue what she was talking about either, but at least I didn’t have to answer that question on record.
87, clinically stupid? I’d call her mentally challenged, but that would be insulting to a whole host of Down’s Syndrome folks.
I feel bad for the white people of Los Angeles. May they rest in peace.
@90.
Maxine Waters’ district:
10.4% White, 34.1% Black, 5.6% Asian, 47.4% Hispanic, 0.2% Native American, 0.2% other
QED
For the record, I know nothing. And that which i DO know is JOhn Thain’s fault. Thanks. Can I go now? My table is waiting
-Ken Lewis
Chaz Gaspaghoul wishes he was the toilet seat upon which Mr. Dimon sits.
“Why would any sensible person vote for Maxine Waters ?”
Err, did you ever check her party affiliation?
Btw hordes of these banker types in NYC also votes for Maxine’s ‘brother’ Rangel. So the justice is poetic really.
I voted for Maxine Waters
K. Kinte
Maxine Waters – MD, Structured Products
yet another genius b;tch… who is the woman??? she’s lost her mind!!!
Apparently all of this country’s ills can be solved by asking Yes/No questions. It’s like a $12 Trillion game of 20 Questions.
Stupid puta.
Note to LOWLIFE debtors.
If you can’t pay it back, don’t borrow.
There was an old bitty,
With ethics and morals, obscene
The bankers she “grilled”
With ramblings unskilled
For Maxine it was all just routine.
There was an old bitty, Maxine
With ethics and morals, obscene
The bankers she “grilled”
With ramblings unskilled
For Maxine it was all just routine.
(oops)
If you all haven’t figured it out yet: Politics is a TEAM SPORT. You don’t like Maxine Waters? You don’t want her having input on banking regulations? You don’t want her as the next Finance Committee Chair? Then VOTE REPUBLICAN, SUPPORT REPUBLICAN CANDIDATES.
Did Ackerman really just say “honky dory”??
“y’alls companies..”
WHO THE F*CK IS THIS IDIOT??
WHO ELECTS THESE STOOGES??
MORONS!!!!
SCUMBAG DEMOCRAT CONSTITUENTS., THAT’S WHO.
If we’re being historical, nothing currently under discussion is stupider than Andrew Jackson blowing up the Bank of the United States.
These clowns are bad, and the country is in a serious “decline” moment, but it has definitely seen worse.
LOL @ 112 & 114
Name me some republican congressman who are any better
LoL @ you thinking one party has a monopoly on stupidity
but yeah, dubya was a dem, right? and palin? wha about mccain? all shining beacons of intelligence and leadership!
you fuckin idiot
“Wuzzup, Kongress?” mAXwATER IN THE hizzy, yall! Y’alls companies ill, kid. They be ill. Y’alls bunch of jive turkeys, yus ser!”
http://newsbusters.org/blogs/noel-sheppard/2008/10/11/maxine-waters-caught-lying-about-fannie-mae-ties-real-time
Talk about Waters calling the kettle black (pun intended).
@116 Bringing us back to the point that everyone in Congress is an idiot. No offense to EP, but it seems worse than earlier history.