COME ON! CNBC reports that the Securities and Exchange Commission is alleging a $4 million Ponzi scheme by Marvin Cooper, which targeted not Jews, not athletes but "the deaf community." We get the SEC's need to really take off its pants and show us what it's made of, after, ya know, blowing it BIG TIME for the last century, but seriously? SERIOUSLY?
Now that I've regained my composure, a little more color. The firm is Hawaii-based Billion Coupons, which reeled in 125 investors since at least Semptember 2007 by "holding investment seminars at deaf community centers." According to the SEC, CEO Cooper misappropriated $1.4 million of investor dollars to pay for stuff like a new home, a Lay-Z Boy with a fridge on the side and "other personal expenses."
The Commission, now big and tough and not taking any shit or prisoners, noted, "This emergency action shows that the Commission will act quickly and decisively to help victims of affinity fraud."
Does it? Up until today you would've had me but now I think you, SEC, have made the error in doing too much too soon. Obviously this is terrible if true (as is news of anyone, deaf, dumb, female* or blind being taken for a ride) but I'm not entirely convinced that this isn't the work of some newly formed subdivision whose sole job is to make up cases designed to grab moral outrage in an effort to make the New SEC look like some sort of white knight that's not only not incompetent, but sensitive, too.
Tomorrow they're going to blow the whistle on a $500 million scam perpetrated almost exclusively the gay dolphins with AIDs community (perp/fund name: Glenview Capital). Watch. You'll see.
SEC Halts Ponzi Scheme Targeting Deaf Investors [Mondovisione]
*Get over yourselves, I'm just trying to keep things interesting.
Posted by guest , Feb 19, 2009 10:25AM
Bess, I CAN'T HEAR YOUUUUU!!!!
Posted by guest , Feb 19, 2009 10:26AM
I was at a Dead show in the early 90s and some deaf (allegedly) dude scammed me into buying some lame sticker. I cursed all deaf people everywhere.
Glad to see it worked.
Posted by guest , Feb 19, 2009 10:27AM
Texas is the new Ponzi.
Posted by trojan , Feb 19, 2009 10:29AM
Ponzi is the new killing it
Posted by trojan , Feb 19, 2009 10:30AM
Ponzi is the new killing it
Posted by guest , Feb 19, 2009 10:30AM
Sign of the times.
Posted by guest , Feb 19, 2009 10:31AM
What's the big deal? I'm sure this guy gave them all of the required disclosures and informed them of the risks (verbally)
Posted by merkin capital partners , Feb 19, 2009 10:32AM
Jerry: What are you, deaf!?
Lineswoman: Bingo! (in that weird deaf voice)
And 3, Cooper is Hawaiian, we only claim Stanford.
Posted by Lowly Assistant , Feb 19, 2009 10:35AM
I heard that all acela trains going in/out of D.C. have been halted, due to a 13 ton cock lying on the tracks. The situation is solid, at worst.
Posted by Anal_yst , Feb 19, 2009 10:36AM
So, the question is, did everyone @ the SEC just do jack sh!t for the past oh, 5 years and only now are starting to realize how freaking easy it is to read the tips people send them with precise details of frauds, or have these investigations actually been going on and were just held up by red tape or whatnot?
Posted by guest , Feb 19, 2009 10:38AM
Gasbagarino - pull the dicks out of your ears and go get the "scoop" on this one, will 'ya?
Posted by guest , Feb 19, 2009 10:38AM
"....to help victims of affinity fraud."
Jeez, I drive an Affinity! Is here an 800 number to call and see if my car is part of some fraud?
~Dub DeWayne
Lease Crude Buyer
Posted by guest , Feb 19, 2009 10:38AM
That is a pretty big cock.
ps - Do deaf people have the right to vote yet?
Posted by guest , Feb 19, 2009 10:40AM
In all fairness I tried calling every investor to ask their permission for these expenditures and not a single one said a thing...or answered for that matter.
- Cooper
Posted by guest , Feb 19, 2009 10:43AM
Guess they were deaf and dumb
Posted by Lowly Assistant , Feb 19, 2009 10:46AM
Anal,
I equate it to that time your girlfriend tried to dump you, and you swore things would be different. For the next two weeks, flowers/"talking" (see: listening)/dinner with parents/sex was in order. After that short period of time, you pick up the bottle, vomit in her hamper, and shrink her bras in the washing machine. Same as it ever was.
The SEC will keep stabbing everything in sight for, at minimum, the next six months. After that, the proverbial snooze button will be hammered down once again.
Posted by guest , Feb 19, 2009 10:46AM
They wuz deaf and dumb
Posted by trojan , Feb 19, 2009 10:46AM
decided today i'm going to start blackmailing funds by threatening to tip off the SEC. said funds will be picked at random by throwing darts at my rolodex, with assumption that circa 33% will be willing/need to to pay me off
Posted by guest , Feb 19, 2009 10:46AM
@8 Deaf people sound like dolphins
Posted by guest , Feb 19, 2009 10:46AM
It's crazy. The SEC didn't ever bring an enforcement action against anybody until Madoff blew up and now they start? Look at how they sat on their hands last year:
http://www.sec.gov/litigation/litreleases/litrelarchive/litarchive2008.shtml
They're, like, stupid or somnething.
Posted by Investorcluzo , Feb 19, 2009 10:47AM
I guess the sec is good at catching rogue traders profiting on their own dime - but anyone with a bloomberg and trade data could do that (who else watched american greed last night?). but when it comes to uncovering outright fraud, you know, to the tune of billions of dollars...well, not so much.
wilbur ross was on cnbc this morning suggesting that the gov't doesn't pay enough to catch criminals - he suggested implementing a bonus structure. hmmmm...perhaps he's on to something. chris dodd are you listening?
Posted by girl , Feb 19, 2009 10:48AM
The good news is Hell is going to be so full of these assholes that there's no way I won't end up in at least limbo, which I can handle.
Posted by guest , Feb 19, 2009 10:55AM
There's already been an "affinity scam" targeting females - Nicola Horlick's Bramdean Asset Management, which targeted women through "a wealth consultation service, called Bramdiva, which is designed exclusively for women":
http://www.bramdean.com/bramdiva
Posted by guest , Feb 19, 2009 10:59AM
Cox said that this was coming.
Posted by guest , Feb 19, 2009 10:59AM
What ever happened with Kaskari, is he still employed by the Treasury?
Posted by Lowly Assistant , Feb 19, 2009 11:00AM
Girl,
At least purgatory has ping-pong and MTV (circa 1991). I say let these fuckers keep our seats warm for the inevitable.
Posted by guest , Feb 19, 2009 11:01AM
I'd tag Marlee Matlin just to hear the moaning sounds.
Posted by guest , Feb 19, 2009 11:07AM
We need more Linzie Janis.
Posted by guest , Feb 19, 2009 11:13AM
Billion Coupons?!?!?!?
REALLY?!?!
Deaf bastards must have gotten bilked because they didn't realize how dumb that name sounds
Posted by guest , Feb 19, 2009 11:17AM
what a great time to be deaf in this country
perhaps this news item will spur a new wave of Helen Keller jokes
Posted by girl , Feb 19, 2009 11:18AM
@ Lowly
Ha! That sounds like my best memories of hanging out in my parents basement. BRING IT ON.
Posted by guest , Feb 19, 2009 11:19AM
too sign, didn't language
Posted by guest , Feb 19, 2009 11:19AM
Wow, what scum. I sentence them to chimp attack.
Posted by Anal_yst , Feb 19, 2009 11:26AM
@ girl/lowly
throw in some Dominos (now defunct) Twisty Bread and poprocks and I'm so there!
Posted by StupidEquityGuy , Feb 19, 2009 11:31AM
Chicago pitboys say enough of moral hazard
http://www.cnbc.com/id/15840232?video=1039849853
Posted by guest , Feb 19, 2009 11:31AM
ooooh Barney Frank and Maxine Waters are going to have a field day with this one.
Posted by Private , Feb 19, 2009 11:34AM
Operator: "Thank you for calling moviefone, please say the movie you would like to see."
Marlee Matlin (In deaf voice): "The Last Mimzy"
Operator: "Please repeat the movie you would like to see..."
Marlee Matlin (In deaf voice): "The Last Mimzy!"
Operator: "You've selected 300..."
Posted by guest , Feb 19, 2009 11:36AM
Deaf people sound perfectly normal compared to Barney F
Posted by Lowly Assistant , Feb 19, 2009 11:41AM
Private,
It's fucking awful that I found that so funny. I hope smoking is allowed in hell.
Posted by guest , Feb 19, 2009 11:50AM
What just happened on CNBC? What trader is the headline on matt drudge?
Posted by guest , Feb 19, 2009 11:59AM
"TRADERS REVOLT: CNBC HOST CALLS FOR NEW 'TEA PARTY'; CHICAGO FLOOR MOCKS OBAMA PLAN"
Via Matt Drudge
Posted by guest , Feb 19, 2009 12:09PM
Chazza Gabber - watch your back. Santelli's rantpage on this morning's Squawk was the best I've heard on CNBC in a long time. Maybe this show will finally get it's groove back if we get more of this Mad As Hell And Not Going To Take It Anymore, Obama!
Posted by guest , Feb 19, 2009 12:16PM
@23 you forgot "15 Minute Abs", another affinity scam targeting women.
Posted by guest , Feb 19, 2009 12:28PM
I guess you hear no evil....
Posted by guest , Feb 19, 2009 12:28PM
I guess you hear no evil....
Posted by Anal_yst , Feb 19, 2009 12:42PM
@43
You gonna include Avon, Mary Kay, etc, etc ad nauseum in there too?
Posted by guest , Feb 19, 2009 12:46PM
@23. You said horlick. I'd like some horlick.
Posted by guest , Feb 19, 2009 3:21PM
If you think there is such a thing as tipping off the SEC.....talk to your bathroom wall. Same result. CNBC seems to be running scared since FOX BUSINESS is marching into their formerly owned territory. That is FOX BUSINESS NEWS.