$$$ Microsoft overpaid severance, wants money back [The Deal]
$$$ Madoff: The Monster Mensch [NYM]
$$$ Zachary Michaelson to Teach Portfolio Management Course as Part of New York University’s Credit Crisis Offerings [PRN]
$$$ AmEx Offers Some Holders $300 To Pay And Leave [DJ]
$$$ J.P. Morgan Cuts Dividend 87% [WSJ]
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- Use the Bloomberg command
NH BLG_DEALBREAKER <GO>
to access Dealbreaker
why are you not live blogging the jpm call? ——————————>
b1tches!
Own a construction company in Gaza? Like getting shot at? Not worried about being kidnapped and beheaded?
Free government money!
President Obama is going to spend $900M to rebuild Gaza!
Fire up the printers!
http://www.newsmax.com/newsfront/obama_gaza_rebuilding/2009/02/23/184683.html
@cluzo- do your ears not work?
nothing about AIG?
@4- how does it feel to be 3 hours late to the party?
http://dealbreaker.com/2009/02/just-one-more-hit-thats-all-we.php
@3 – call was supposed to start at 5…I’m listening to the webcast, is there a delay? correct me if my ears weren’t working properly, did he actually say that they were “hiring bankers”?
other than that, all I know is that the d in jaime d stands for doom and gloom. “2 year recession…40% peak to trough house price decline…charge-offs going to 8%, if unemployment goes to 9%, charge-offs will go to 9%”
without whit, whit, this isn’t going to be as much fun. maybe she’ll call in for $hits and giggles?
oh snaps! merideth whitney advisory group is.in.da.house!
AMEX is paying people to give up their cards? If you take the $300 they’ll cut up your card and forget about your unpaid balance?
Sounds like a great use of TARP funds.
So between Citi and GMAC now AMEX I’m getting the feeling that consumer credit is the next anvil to drop on the head of the American economy.
zach michaelson’s website is a joke and he’s clearly trying far to hard to utilize as many polysyllabic words as possible. judging by his essay, he likely just read michael chertoff’s piece in the jan/feb issue of foreign affairs…
No…if you pay it off then they’ll give you a $300.00 gift card.
Jamie says they have no details on the Treasury stress test that is supposed to be starting this week. Great.
SOURCE Zachary Michaelson
obligatory self promotion?
when are prosecutors gonna’ wake up and realize Bernie’s boys are covered with fish scales.
nyu just did a back flip over the shark
The Dow is approaching breaker halt territory
“Sovereignty is undergoing significant redefinition”
http://www.zacharymichaelson.org/
@15 And they were doing so well in my books when they dealt with the protesters by cutting the bs and just arresting them.
anyone who uses the word “paradigm” in headline is a wanna be useless burnt out fuck.
in addition to being an unoriginal asshat who is so clearly lifting essay ideas from a widely read publication, michaelson’s website looks like it was designed by a blind trisomy baby…
@18: You said it.
Interview With The Ghost of JP Morgan
http://thereformedbroker.com/2009/02/23/interview-with-the-ghost-of-jp-morgan/
how does zach michaelson continue to exist in the finance world? he is a total hack and his resume is a lie. his resume has floated across desks for a while (and i knew him as an intern who got fired his second day on the job when he was still in college)
i cannot imagine that he has ever really managed money, but apparently he is so good, that he has had 5 years of portfolio management experience — i think he had “five years experience” even before he started working
wanker
I’m late to the game, anything big on the call?
Hi All,
I’m Joe Cassano, I made $280 million as head of AIG’s derivative’s trading unit while you the American taxpayer got to take a broken broom-stick shoved up your rectums! But guess what? There is nothing you can do about it, no RICO statutes apply here! The Federal Reserve which cannot even have it’s books audited by Congress will just keep giving AIG hundreds of billions of your tax dollars. The Federal Government itself is broke so it needs to steal your money and put you all in the poor house. And furthermore all those scum bag politicians who live off the taxpayer dime aren’t going to help you either, because they are all paid off. From Barney Fag to Chris Dodd to Pelosi taking trips to visit the Pedophile Pope, everyone is paid off! I guess I’m going to retire now, thanks for the memories and AIG thanks you for the $150 billion, nevermind the vietnam vet who is pissing on himself in times square, we can spend your money better!
Erin Burnett look so hot today reporting live from Hongkong.Great interviews,too!
thanks for your kind words Joe
Is NYU’s management retarded or something? How can they bring in someone like Zach and what’s worse is that he’s going to be teaching a bunch of kids a whole lot of shit that he probably pulled out of his ass.
http://www.howobamagotelected.com/
LISTEN BESS,
I DON’T ASK FOR MUCH BUT COULD YOU PLEASE COVER THE ONGOING CATFIGHT BETWEEN GE AND NEWSCORP. EVERYDAY THESE TWO BITCHES GET AT EACH OTHERS THROUTS.
SIGNED,
CONCERNED CITIZEN…..
@25 Gawd I hate that dude too for some visceral reason.
http://static.10gen.com/businessinsider/~~/f?id=48f0a0c614b9b9e200ee3c6b&maxX=249&maxY=188
All you Yahoo kooks are going to love #29. Just remember, the shorts are to blame, for they control all. *evil Halloween laugh*
SPODE
Erin is still in China and still wearing sexy underwear.
“News of Parsons’ White House visit started a buzz among financial services executives in Washington, where several said Monday night that they expected an announcement of a Citigroup deal as early as Tuesday. One executive told POLITICO that the White House is telling industry players that the Parsons visit is “a friendly meeting.”
http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0209/19204.html
@25: You gloating sack of shit. Die bitch.
The Other Guy From Delaware
@Novice
Nothing wrong with standing up with what you believe in, but that was the lamest, most immature, poorly-thought-out, and weakly-executed protest I’ve seen in NYC for at least a year (alas).
If they’d focused just on affordable tuition, or did anything remotely reasonable in their effort, they likely would have achieved significantly more success.
Of course, NYU needs to immediately fire the PR firm they apparently share with Mr. Softy, but that’s an entirely different story altogether.
If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands.
http://english.aljazeera.net/news/americas/2009/02/20092240441935716.html
Here are the original journal entries.
Accounts Receivable – Israel DR. $50,000,000
Revenue – U.S. Bombs CR. 50,000,000
COGS – U.S. Bombs DR. 20,000,000
Inventory – U.S. Bombs CR. 20,000,000
Right now you are probably asking yourself, “but what about the contingent liability [as supported by the article] that should have been recorded when the sale was made?” Obviously it was a slam dunk [probable vs. reasonably possible or remote] that bombing the fuck out of the Gaza strip and UN schools would occur, but the amount of loss could not be reasonably estimated at the time, thus the footnote in the financials.
And our final journal entry to wrap up this dog and pony show.
Rebuild Expense – Gaza Strip DR. $900,000,000
Accounts Payable – Arab Bank CR. 900,000,000
$50,000,000
(20,000,000)
=30,000,000
(900,000,000)
=($870,000,000) – U.S. tax dollars hard at work
And the coup de grace bitches, 3 billion, or so, a year goes to Israel in the form of support.
Support Expense – Israel DR. $3,000,000,000
Accounts Payable – Israel CR. $3,000,000,000
($870,000,000)
(3,000,000,000)
=($3,870,000,000) – I would like to thank the Academy and the U.S. taxpayer for making tonight so special and my co-star S. Arcasm.
This program has been so goddamn successful it will probably continue for another 20 years. And to think this type of reasoning went into the stimulus package brings a smile to my face. How proud are you right now bitches? I can see that look of American pride on your face. Awesome! Totally Awesome! Alright Hamilton. That’s my skull dude.
Why have you stopped clapping your hands?
$3,000,000,000
(50,000,000)
=$2,500,000,000 – Peace deterrent
Why negotiate peace when you’re banking 2.5 large a year. Peace is a revenue deterrent. War is peace. Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength.
SPODE
#26 and 33: Thanks for taking one for the team. She’s hideous and she obviously did not take her make-up artist with her to China…
spode im generally a fan of your rants – but wtf dude.
also obama can suck it, i voted for the hamburgler
could we have a poll? or our own tool academy? michaelson and timmay
Who is that guy with Erin in Hongkong?
I’m sure not one of the DB poster.
Maria Bartiromo is going to Nigeria to check the status of those who own millions in the banks but need your assistance to withdraw them.
NEED HELP?
I’m actually a very rich Nigerian because my Uncle, a Prince (no, not the one in Saudi with Citi share that is now worth one cent) left me billions of dollars but I need your help to withdraw them.It is to my understanding that US needs money for $800 billion stimulus bill.You don’t need to go to China like Ms. Clinton or other countries to ask them to buy US treasuries.Here I am ready to help! All I need from Bernanke is to open your Federal Bank account for me and the combination of you Treasury department’s money vault. As soon as I get them, all i have to do is press the “send” key of my computer…walah, ..No more world financial crisis.It is me all they are waiting for..,,the real Messiah!
HAM @39- That’s exactly what I’m saying, “wtf dude.” 30 mil gross for a 900 mil expense and policies that shoot ourselves in the foot are crazy. The Economist, January 10TH, The hundred years’ war. The complete report was spread over three or four issues. Obviously I made up the lame JE’s. I was going to capitalize COGS – U.S. Bombs so I could get more…
wait for it
wait for it
bang for the buck by reporting a higher gross. Fuck’n auditors these days, they take all the fun out of the cookie jar.
And my peace deterrent number should be 2.95 bil. That damn Dewey Decimal f’s me up every time. Fuck you Dewey! Even in third grade I suspected you were a fraud and a phony, and I was right. Nobody uses you in the real world. NOBODY! You’re like Deadman’s Curve to a second grader on a bicycle. Big hat, no cattle.
First Bitches! ——————————–>
Where the hell is everyone?
I heard Tim Sykes is going to be teaching a continuing education risk management seminar at Hunter College.
On AXP:
The website for credit card deadbeats (creditboards.com) reveals some insight on what AMEX is doing.
AMEX is only offering the $300 “Please Go Away. Don’t call us back, buhbye” letter only to customers who transferred large balances to revolving AMEX accounts at very low teaser rates.
So if you transferred over $20,000 to an AMEX clear card at only 1% interest and you’re paying the minimums (which is what… a 20 year repayment term?)…. AMEX desperately wants that money back right now.
If you’re not having money troubles, it’s cheaper to just shred the letter and keep paying the 1%.
We are so fucked. I’m dumping my AMEX connetions and now I’m gonna start pimpin’ AMWAY.
Anybody need some Artistry skin cream?
If you are having money troubles what are the chances you have the $ to pay t off? Or are you suppose to transfer it elsewhere?
i thought to taking out $80,000 at zero % and put into a CD yielding 4% but the 4% CD’s are not available anymore.
@44 what you’ve written likely makes perfect sense when read in chorus with the voices in your head. Text only, not so much.
By the by, it is “all hat and no cattle.”
@37 SPODE
Scary stuff….Change you can believe in eh?
@Anal – I would have respect for them if they had either an effective protest or coherent demands. Even the (absurd) that nyu cap tuition increases at inflation.
But getting catered by the administration while demanding everything from disclosure of asset allocation in nyu’s tiny endowment to 13 scholarships for palestinians is pathetic. Poor attempts to imitate George Clinton’s ‘revolution you can dance to,’ reneging on their non-violence statement so they have a place to smoke… for any of these they belong on Colonel Gentleman’s List of Hollywood Actress Who Need a Smack in the Mouth.
52- http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=big+hat%2C+no+cattle
“Big” is the reference to the size of the hat. The larger the cowboy hat the greater the cowboy, 10 gallon cowboy hat being the greatest hat of all.
Usage of “All” does not make sense. “All hat”… wtf does that mean? All hat vs. part hat and part corn on the cob? The “All Hat” reference seems to come from a magazine, Rollingstone? Some East coast reporter who doesn’t know the difference between steers and queers.
zack michaelson is a complete phony. His resume is a HUGE lie.
How could anyone take this guy seriously. I went to college with this tool…wish it wasn’t true.
trying to promote himself:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PT_hdvso4YA
May be your greatest post around
What a frankly amazing read!!