March 2009

  • News

    Write-Offs: 03.31.09

    $$$ Draw the blinds: another protest at AIG is planned for Friday. [IACenter] $$$ Did anyone else think GM’s pledge for ‘deeper, harder, faster‘ restructuring was a reference to this? Just us? [Guardian] $$$ The Grim Math At GM [WSJ] $$$ Layoffs at RSM McGladrey: “45 people today in their NY office, including a bunch […]

    / Mar 31, 2009 at 5:50 PM
  • News

    They Are What They Drive

    With President Barack Obama showing the ailing U.S. auto industry some tough love Monday, POLITICO wondered — what’s … … in the driveways of White House aides? A lot of foreign cars, as it turns out. Explore the depths of auto-psychoanalysis, after the jump.

    / Mar 31, 2009 at 5:19 PM
  • News

    Unfounded Rumor Of The Afternoon: Departures At Man Group/Investments?

    Supposedly “the US head of institutional sales, head of risk for one of the engines and the head of structured finance and prime brokerage are all leaving, as well as one of the former CIOs.”

    / Mar 31, 2009 at 4:40 PM
  • News

    The Obama Portfolio

    Some recovery. The Obama Portfolio (Since Inception): +12.35% Earlier: The Obama Portfolio

    / Mar 31, 2009 at 4:15 PM
  • News

    Let’s Talk B-School: A Dealbreaker Reader Poll

    So! A dear friend of Dealbreaker is one of the few b-school applicants to be granted admittance to Club 2 Year Vacay this year. Tuck and Stern have already been crossed off the list (too Hanover, too Nouriel), with Columbia and University of Chicago remaining. Here we have a dilemma, which you can probably guess. […]

    / Mar 31, 2009 at 3:45 PM
  • News

    Michael Moore Testifying On TARP

    No, just messin’ with ya, but the old boy *was* spotted taking notes at the Senate Finance Committee’s hearing on the emotionally disturbed asset relief program, presumably for the new flick. Will he be taking a meeting with Maxine Waters, or at least stop by her office to see what’s a poppin’ later today? Obviously […]

    / Mar 31, 2009 at 3:19 PM
  • News

    All That Glitters

    Well, Global Alpha has seen better days. Anyone get the sense that this was a few years too late? Or is that just us? Goldman Sachs Group Inc. (GS.N) said the heads of its computer-driven investments and Global Alpha, once the bank’s largest hedge fund, retired on Tuesday. Departing were Mark Carhart and Raymond Iwanowski, […]

    / Mar 31, 2009 at 3:01 PM
  • News

    I Hear London Is Beautiful This Time Of Year

    Here’s a thought experiment: What would you make of the Deputy Prime Minister of a large country that insisted that, compared to the rest of the world, centralized regulation like price or production caps would be difficult to impose in his country because of the independent nature of the country’s legal system and the sanctity […]

    / Mar 31, 2009 at 2:05 PM
  • News

    Madoff Brother’s Lawyer: My Client Most Likely Can’t Even “Afford A MetroCard”

    And with the fare hike, he fo sho won’t be able to swing it! Peter Madoff, brother and colleague of Bernie was denied an appeal to not have his assets frozen today, though god love this family, it wasn’t for a lack of trying. According to Pedro’s lawyer Charles Spada, Ponzi Boy’s bro “can’t spend […]

    / Mar 31, 2009 at 12:36 PM
  • News

    Dropping Your Guard On The White House Lawn

    When John Mack was almost lured into enough of a false sense of security (or perhaps a conspiracy) to nearly disclose his plans to raise new equity* and pay back TARP money by CNBC’s Erin Burnett we thought it might be curtains for the guy. We are also not sure how he could have lived […]

    / Mar 31, 2009 at 12:06 PM
  • News

    Charlie Gasparino Is Placated

    And thank god for that, otherwise Time would be looking at the business end of a serious hissyfit that I’m sure we don’t have to tell you would escalate in a back alley assault. After nominating Gaspo for its list of the 100 most influential people of the year, and suggesting that a reason one […]

    / Mar 31, 2009 at 11:13 AM
  • News

    Andrés Piedrahita Noel* Falls Off The Wagon

    Honestly, bless the hearts of the Connecticut branch of the Madoff Movie of the Week. Since losing basically all of Fairfield Greenwich clients’ money to Ponzi-boy, they’ve been trying *really* hard not to flit about telling everyone, but mostly mags and newspapers, how great is to be a Noel. But cutting out press cold turkey […]

    / Mar 31, 2009 at 10:56 AM
  • News

    Crush Your Enemies (Part II)

    Unless you have been sleeping under a rock for some extended period of time, you will remember that Porsche is not just a German automobile manufacturer, but also a “fiendishly clever,” hedge fund in its own right. Scant surprise then that the Teutonic threat is realized. Net profit in the first-half ended Jan. 31 jumped […]

    / Mar 31, 2009 at 10:30 AM
  • News

    Goldman Got No Love For The Little Guy!

    From the front lines of a massacre: I am a second year analyst in Private Wealth Management who just found out from my office’s Business Unit Manager that all second year analysts will have to wait until December, six months after their two years are up, to find out if they will get a bonus. […]

    / Mar 31, 2009 at 10:26 AM
  • News

    Oh No She Di’Int

    Chin up, mon chichis. You’ll always be welcome at the Hawaiian Tropic Zone (for now). SOHO House no longer wants to be a place where bankers flock to drink and flirt. Sources told Page Six several financial types, already hit by the economy, had their egos slammed when they were notified by the club that […]

    / Mar 31, 2009 at 9:44 AM
  • News

    Get Out There And Make Something Of Yourself

    This is admittedly a little under the wire, but if you’re sans job/will to live today, perhaps consider participating in an event for your kind going down at Tompkins Square Park, circa 1pm. It’s called the Unemployment Olympics and only those who can prove they’ve been canned will be allowed to get in on the […]

    / Mar 31, 2009 at 9:30 AM
  • News

    Retirement Agreeing With Joseph Cassano

    Sure, ABC News reports that AIG’s most famous alum is probably going to be brought up on federal fraud charges for his role in kind of bringing the company down. And yeah, when asked for comment on the sitch, he sort of acts like a dick, being all, “I don’t want to talk about it.” […]

    / Mar 31, 2009 at 8:55 AM
  • News

    Opening Bell: 03.31.09

    JP Morgan Takes The Lead In Rights Offers (Bloomberg) JP Morgan is pretty much kicking the shit out of their nearest competitor in arranging rights this year – they’re sitting at $12.8B to Goldman’s $6.3B (UBS is tied for third with an Italian bank at $3.1B). “There’s a massive shift in terms of market share […]

    / Mar 31, 2009 at 7:47 AM
  • News

    Write-Offs: 03.30.09

    $$$ Leitch on Citi Field: What It’s Really Like [Daily Intel] $$$ Goldman’s Trott, Buffett’s Banker, to Leave Firm [WSJ] $$$ University of Florida business professor promptly fired for being “stoned” during class. [LWPB] $$$ How I helped build the bomb that blew up Wall Street. [NYM] $$$ The Executive Who Brought Down AIG [ABC […]

    / Mar 30, 2009 at 5:31 PM
  • News

    Double Dodd Dipping

    The [AIG] employees were told, “If you agree,” to write checks for $2,100 from themselves and their spouses and to send them to Mr. Dodd’s campaign within four days. They also were to ask the senior members of their management teams to do the same and send copies of their checks to the company. The […]

    / Mar 30, 2009 at 4:33 PM
  • News

    The Obama Portfolio

    “God damn. Sure went down the toilet on that ugly bitch.” Rough day for the First Asset Allocation. The Obama Portfolio (Since Inception): +11.61% Earlier: The Obama Portfolio

    / Mar 30, 2009 at 4:19 PM
  • News

    Layoffs Watch ’09: JPM

    Unbearable sadness from the House of Dimon today. From the front lines: “Ten percent let go from Securities Prime Brokerage. F&O, Global Clearing to follow.”

    / Mar 30, 2009 at 3:56 PM
  • News

    Is Dylan Ratigan Bouncing Back With Cody Willard, Shtuping Erin Burnett, Egging Charlie Gasparino On?

    Yeah, probably not but perhaps he is planning on making a guest appearance on Willy’s show and hitting his former rival network where it hurts, per some suggestive tweeting? And while we’re talkin’ tweet, can we speculate as to what this is about? And one last one, for the road, which I don’t think I’m […]

    / Mar 30, 2009 at 3:44 PM
  • News

    Housing Crisis Ad Libs

    City officials and housing advocates here and in cities as varied as Buffalo, Kansas City, Mo., and Jacksonville, Fla., say they are seeing an unsettling development: [Banks / Borrowers] are quietly declining to [take / surrender] possession of properties at the end of the foreclosure process, most often because the cost of the ordeal — […]

    / Mar 30, 2009 at 3:15 PM
  • News

    WSJ Breaking: GM / Chrysler To Be BK’d Into Good Bank / Bad Bank

    Wow. That whole “Bankruptcy one option of many” thing lasted about, what, three whole hours? Updates to come. The situation is fluid.

    / Mar 30, 2009 at 3:02 PM
  • News

    Non-Pansie Bankers Twice Your Age Will Not Be Intimidated Out Of Suits, Ready To Rumble

    If you thought your financial services counterparts across the pond were a bunch of pussies who couldn’t hold their own in fight, you thought wrong. Although JPMorgan London et al have sent out memos telling employees to dress down, lest their unofficial uniforms give them away, and to essentially hide under the covers and not […]

    / Mar 30, 2009 at 1:53 PM
  • News

    Vikram Pandit Still Waiting For Answer On Why He Didn’t Make The Cut, BTW

    So, we just spoke with Time 100 finalist Charlie Gasparino and let’s just say that *someone* can expect a call from Gaspo’s lawyer. At issue: in the cons section for why Chaz shouldn’t be named one of the 100 most influential people of the year. According to T mag, CG once predicted that “AIG would […]

    / Mar 30, 2009 at 1:00 PM

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