swiss.pngWell what the hell do you expect? You threaten the livelihood of the Swiss with all these threats to penetrate their veil of tax and banking secrecy and something is going to have to give. Don’t you people know that the most dangerous thing in the world is a wounded Swiss animal? Sure, they look placid and rule-bound. Yes, they may complain that chaos threatens anyone who goes against the grain but, apparently, the rumors of their marginal prowess in the romantic arts are proven false. (Well, not entirely- German victims may not be the best judges in the Olympics of sex after all). I blame Carl Levin. If anyone can stop the wanton and cruel sexual blackmail of the Germans, a critical requirement in these desperate times, he can.

A former Swiss investment banker admitted in court on Monday that he seduced and blackmailed Germany’s wealthiest woman, heiress to the BMW car empire, with secret films of their hotel trysts.
Helg Sgarbi admitted seducing heiress Susanne Klatten and three other wealthy women and persuading them to pay him almost 10 million euros ($12.64 million) with various tales, including one that he had fallen foul of the Italian mafia.

Admit it. You wish you thought of it.

Swiss banker admits blackmailing BMW heiress
[Reuters]

Comments (22)

  1. Posted by trojan | March 9, 2009 at 10:05 AM

    EP-
    had you scooped at the opening bell. where’s the shoutout?

  2. Posted by guest | March 9, 2009 at 10:11 AM

    @trojan– the only way you would’ve had her “scooped” is if you’d broken/written the story. you linked to it.

  3. Posted by guest | March 9, 2009 at 10:22 AM

    The best sex I had was with a Swiss-German. He didn’t look like a good fuck, you know, boring looking with outdated eyeglasses. But he was fucking good in bed.

  4. Posted by guest | March 9, 2009 at 10:34 AM

    Nobody does edible chocolate underwear better than the Swiss.

  5. Posted by Anal_yst | March 9, 2009 at 10:36 AM

    Correct me if I’m wrong, but if memory serves this story was an issue like a year ago (+/-), at least a few months back.
    Also, with the same caveat as above, this guy wasn’t exactly an “investment banker,” either, at least not in any traditional sense of the word.

  6. Posted by guest | March 9, 2009 at 10:46 AM

    Equity Private, you reminded me of the old Dalton Trumbo line that “The only interesting thing that can happen in a Swiss bedroom is suffocation by feather mattress.”

  7. Posted by guest | March 9, 2009 at 10:48 AM

    Anal-yst, it’s “new news” because he pled guilty in court today. Also, I’d say a “44 year old specialist in mergers and acquisitions” is more of an investment banker “in the traditional sense of the word” than most people who consider themselves to be investment bankers.

  8. Posted by guest | March 9, 2009 at 10:57 AM

    The “special Swiss representative in crisis zones” got six years in Der Schlammer. At least all the muesli will keep him cleared out and ready for shower duty.

  9. Posted by guest | March 9, 2009 at 10:58 AM

    investment banker = 22-year-old GS analyst collating pitch books.

  10. Posted by guest | March 9, 2009 at 11:09 AM

    “She later handed him a cardboard box containing 7 million euros in 500 euro notes, believing he had paralysed a child in a traffic accident in America and needed the money to pay compensation to avoid being jailed.”
    Holy shit, it worked, he’s rich and no one is the wiser. Way to…
    “Sgarbi then demanded 49 million euros, threatening to send photos and tapes of their hotel-room rendezvous to colleagues, family and the press.”
    Ah way to fuck it up, asshole. Way. To. Fucking. Go.

  11. Posted by guest | March 9, 2009 at 11:14 AM

    I see the swiss still have a serious obsession with Nazi money.

  12. Posted by guest | March 9, 2009 at 11:26 AM

    investment banker = 32 years old, now living in Buenos Aires, who piched a non-VaR variable average risk program tied to CDOs which then lost $42 Billion.

  13. Posted by HAM05 | March 9, 2009 at 11:27 AM

    @3 no one cares about your trysts b. fwank.

  14. Posted by Anal_yst | March 9, 2009 at 11:38 AM

    @ 7
    Thank you for correcting me as I was apparently wrong. Out of curiosity, do you have a source for this information?

  15. Posted by guest | March 9, 2009 at 11:43 AM

    This story would have been much more interesting if it had involved a pair of twenty-something female twins from the Czech Skoda or from the Swedish Volvo lineages…
    –Calgary Schmooze

  16. Posted by guest | March 9, 2009 at 11:47 AM

    @Anal
    here is a nice report:
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7931925.stm

  17. Posted by guest | March 9, 2009 at 12:24 PM

    Der Spiegel provides more lurid details on the “Romp in Vomp” –

  18. Posted by European Bear | March 9, 2009 at 12:35 PM

    I very much doubt that he was an investment banker. Years ago, he worked for Credit Suisse, apparently in their retail network.

  19. Posted by guest | March 9, 2009 at 1:31 PM

    That BMW heiress wasn’t too shabby for a “soup chicken” — what’s REALLY fucked up about this case is the fact that he was also banging and scamming some rich old EIGHTY-something:
    “Mrs Klatten was one of a string of Sgarbi’s alleged victims across Europe, who included the wealthy Countess Verena du Pasquier-Geubels, reported to be around 50 years his senior.”
    that’s just SICK

  20. Posted by guest | March 9, 2009 at 2:15 PM

    Swiss Nurses in short shorts with cleavage and 8,000 calories of heart attack in one location… Why didn’t my nurses ever look like this.
    http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=4632991n?source=mostpop_video

  21. Posted by guest | March 9, 2009 at 2:21 PM

    @11 — Nice!

  22. Posted by guest | March 9, 2009 at 8:43 PM

    Whats the difference between this huy schtuping these old ladies for dough and AIG schtuping the US taxpayers?

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