Hey, did you know Fairfield Greenwich founder Walter Noel, his wife Monica and their five daughters are deeply garish human beings? And are so thoroughly hated in CT that their WASP neighbors and “friends,” who generally remain contained within their personal Cheeveresque hells, will make exception to get their knickers in a twit over the nouveau riche family, raising their body temperatures, which for the most part hover around 73.5 degrees Fahrenheit, to 77.9? Of course you did but Vanity Fair has a few more details.
The Noels’ vast house on Mustique, named Yemanjá, was featured–along with the Noel women–in a cover story in Town & Country in 2005. Coming after a 2002 feature in this magazine, headlined “Golden in Greenwich,” it gave ammunition to people who believed that the Noels were shameless self-promoters. (Monica has told people that she agreed to the Town & Country feature only because she believed that it would increase the value of the house.)
One friend from Greenwich was astonished by the stories she heard about them in Southampton, where they bought a $10 million house in 2001. They grated on local society by taking out an entire page in the “Blue Book”–the local social register of the Hamptons. “You don’t have to put every single cell phone, and every single child, and every single number. They live in Europe, they live in South America; it wasn’t necessary to put down 43 names,” says an observer.
They wasted no time in applying to join the beach club officially known as the Bathing Corporation of Southampton, where Philip Toub’s father, Said Toub, is a member. But older members, who expect young women to appear in Lilly Pulitzer dresses, say they were put off when the Noel women showed up in “thongs and sarongs.”
Also, they table-hopped–which offended members. Some people said Walter Noel networked on the beach. “What I heard is he was actually selling the Fairfield Greenwich fund, or trying to encourage other members of the beach club to buy it, because it was an incredible thing, and he was almost using that as currency, if you will, to garner a favor,” says a man in that world.
Another person who spends time in Southampton recalls, “They really did things that seemed outlandish. The first summer they were here, I won’t forget seeing two of the daughters blocking traffic on Jobs Lane, leaning out of their convertibles, talking to each other and making what sounded like idle plans and blowing kisses, as if they owned the street–literally for five full minutes while a line of too-polite-to-honk Southampton matrons sat in silence.”
Walter also tried to get into the Shinnecock Hills Golf Club, “but that died fast once Monica had a personal assistant call around to Shinnecock members inviting them to their house,” says this person. “It’s just not friendly to have your personal assistant call around to old club members inviting them over for a meal…. It smacked both of new money and being almost purposefully rude. Joining a club like Shinnecock is like joining a family. It’s not expensive, but the waiting list is very long because it’s very selective in inviting people to join who would fit in, in as gemütlich a way as Wasps can get. None of the members, even if they had personal assistants–which most of them are too poor to have–would use them to make a personal social call.”
So yeah: crooks, maybe, but way more importantly, if you care about this sort of thing, gauche. Now that that’s been re-established, please turn your attention to this, also from VF:
It’s the first re-imagining of this, but it’s not that last. We’re told that the magazine is looking to shoot the hedge fund version, for the June issue, but they need your help. Who should be included, and playing which part? The big guy as Jonah Hill, sure, but who’s Paul Rudd? Who’s Seth Rogen? These are questions you need to answer.
a pox on both your houses, and your country club and swim club too.
Try Club Fed…they will have you join whether you want to or not…
The Noel girls are trash, as simple as that. i know from experience……
Of all the gaudy, pretentious, snooty people who bother me to no end, these people are just in a league entirely their own, almost like we’re all being punked and they were plants in a sort of Truman Show-esque super reality show.
You’d think one of the personal assistants would have time to put down the phone for a hot minute and trim those caterpillars crawling above Mr. Noel’s eyes.
A comb and a razor, man. 5 minutes, at most.
@5 – That’s the moment you know you’re no longer young – when the barber says “do you want me to trim your eyebrows?”
So they make Paris Hilton seem polite and intelligent?
Einhorn filling in for Rudd, Paul Tudor Jones for Seth, Ken Griffin for Jason Segel, should be magical.
oh please Bessy, the WASPs haven’t run the Hamptons in over 45 years. They’re really toast, it’s over.
AB,
That first happened to me senior year of high school. Thanks for taking a gigantic shit on my ego.
@9- that’s why the WASP neighbors referred to their neighbs in CT, not Long Island.
10 (addendum),
But on second thought, it’s been about ten years and I’m waiting for them to fly away and become beautiful butterflies. Time is kind.
This is the kind of thing that makes me yearn for a communist revolution
First Bitches!
SPODE
I keep reading how stunning and attractive his daughters are. What am I missing? They all look like Mr. Ed. Pass out the sugar cubes.
As Trojan once said. Long faces, short skirts.
SPODE
@6 – And then he does your nose and ears..
And next Monday, the Quickster spends 3 hours with Buffett. What’s the over/under on sexual innuendos?
If there were a just God a tsunami would have hit Southampton not the poor souls in Indonesia.
(guess that sort of statement wont garner me many favors in social circles there)
-C
“The first summer they were here, I won’t forget seeing two of the daughters blocking traffic on Jobs Lane, leaning out of their convertibles, talking to each other and making what sounded like idle plans and blowing kisses, as if they owned the street–literally for five full minutes while a line of too-polite-to-honk Southampton matrons sat in silence.”
lol. if only one could go back in time and transport DMX right behind one of them.
#15, now that was real funny!!! But true. Who cares if they’re air kissing; families like that need to be sent to Africa to work with the poor!
^^^nouveau
What these people did really is criminal. Unfortunately, they will also get away with it.
Oh, the schadenfreude is reaching nearly erotic levels…
Bess – why so anti-waspy? We would hate these people if they were Jew’s.
@25- can you not note the heavy sarcasm for everyone involved in this post? the neighbors and noels are BOTH worthy of ridicule.
His daughters bang like bucking bronco’s. Look like them too.
Man oh Man is this blog written by WASP Hatters or what? If you switched WASP with JEW and wrote this, people would be outraged.
25, 28 = gays
@25 – Your inability to properly use an apostrophe is making me irrationally angry
Is a ‘WASP Hatter’ something from Alice in Wonderland?
@24 Still richer than all of us. When their clients starting suing their asses (if they haven’t already) that’s when the fun begins.
@26/Bess. No I can’t. But the thongs and sarongs line was hot. Read it twice
That dude’s eyebrows are the least of his concerns. If I saw that thing ambling toward me at a beach, I’d think “aww…how nice that GCC is giving Down Syndrome adults a chance to shine. He’s here to say ‘hi!’”
the outrage on behalf of wasps going on here is hilarious.
@25 “if they were Jew’s”? Why don’t you try “if they were Jews” (the plural form, not possessive). Surf your way over to University of Phoenix for a grammar course after you’re finished perusing Yahoo Finance for the day.
you wonder how much is true, how much is a fuckhead whore “journalist” enjoying being jayson blair without recourse, and how much is VF pandering to it’s miniscule audience
either way, i’d much rather spank it to liz clamans tits, advising “don’t matter just don’t bite it”
29 & 34 here – CRAP the double post…now I’m the gay
I am one pissed off wasp @29/34 = douche
“Fuh…What?!?!??”
~Fake Geico Caveman
@41, a gay WASP are we?
Freddie Murcury was a wasp. And he was gay. Deal with it.
Mercury
Is that a dildo or penis just below front rights right breast? I can’t adjust the brightness on my monitors enough to tell.
http://www.vanityfair.com/images/style/2009/04/noel-0904-02.jpg
@38 you dumb shits. it is jews because you all are so possessive and selfish..weren’t not a mistake. think your hat is burning your brain
@29 ask your wife how gay i am..all be it taking her A card was a little gay, but she loved it
@44 – on the contrary freddie mercury was as far from a wasp as possible. he was indian.
The Noel daughters will soon need to join a Brazilian escort service to pay the bills once FGG invetsors and Boies get their pound of flesh. The Haeglers of Rio are decent folks but Marisa Noel and the others deserve their comeuppance, they can kiss all their glamour properties and vacations goodbye except PB Florida. They will spend the rest of their lives broke and in court. They cared so much about appearances and now they are the biggest social pariahs in town! the irony is beautiful!!!!
piggyback on 39, Freddy Mercury was not only Parsi, he was from Zanzibar. Pretty far from WASP.
dot or feather?
@52 .
@38 is a douche bag
@47
Incomprehensible rubbish. Instead of U. of Phoenix, how about an online GED course?
Money doesn’t buy class and breeding.
@ 56 mehh… everyone tells JewJokes (TM), but the point is to be funny, not pathetically bitter. were you cuckolded by a MOT?
My name is Monica Noel. Do you take pleasure in our misfortune? My dad took peoples money, handed in to Bernie, and took 2/20 off the top. We did nothing wrong. So stop being mean.
@61
Noel took 1/20, you twit.
That is twat. Not twit.
Monica again – stop by Round Hill and I will buy you a drink and we can sort this out. So long as your not a Jew.
@64
It’s “you’re not a Jew.”
I guess “your” an idiot.
I grew up in Greenwich, right near the Noel’s. Lived on Round Hill Road right near them. They were all pretty nice. And yes, they looked like horses.
@65 is harsh – you a Jew?
Why are the Jew’s so angry? They control the media, own Goldman Sachs, and have all the cash. Lighten up people.
@68
No. Just intolerant of stupidity. I guess your the idiot over their making all of the grammar errors? Your going to have to hurry over to Yahoo Finance, its getting late.
@70 – I can learn to schpell. You however, will always be an (_l_)
@71/72
No, not a Jew. Just a well educated gentile. I harbor no ill will toward Jews or any other race. I just don’t like stupid people. I also think that the lower your socioeconomic level and intelligence level, the more likely you are to be racist and see other races as a threat. It’s a strong indicator of having low prospects in your career and in society (as is bad grammar).
The fact that they thought they could get into Shinnecock is laughable. The one thing those types of country clubs hate are loud people who bring attention to themselves.
@73 – I judge people for what they are. And you my friend are an ass hole.
Wish you all the best.
@75
Thank you for proving my point. By the way, asshole is one word, not two. I think some customers are waiting to check out, you’d better go.
@73 – so you went to CUNY? Your smart. Go do long division, you a hole.
So the Noels act with an uncontrollable sense of entitlement? What else would you expect? I can write stories like that of people who just think they are wealthy.
Fine, the Noels are the Fran Drescher of WASPs. You’re still anti-Goyim, Levin, and no one is buying it… except maybe at wholesale.
@46 – I’d do all of them, they remind me of WIDECLOPS! Where is that fine vixen?
#79- When did the Noels become WASPs? A lot of Protestants in Brazil, huh. Noel is a country bumpkin. They’re just people who made a lot of money and tried to move up in the world. It hasn’t worked. The majority of the people in Greenwich clubs are Catholic now anyway. WASPs barely exist any more.
DB after dark
@spode: thanks for the props.
aside: living in Fairfield County doesn’t equal WASP. if you understand the difference between an august in nantucket and martha’s vineyard then you could qualify as a wasp. the old time greenwich-wasp & westport-jew dichotomy is gone. still most of the catholics i know are from westchester- except rye which is solidly jewsian
Bernie used the Noels the way he used all the other feeders; Avellino and Bienes, Cohn, Merkin etc…I suppose when Madoff had tapped out the Jews, he started to go after the Euros and the Goyim.
hmm, the fabulous Noel Sisters…reminds me of the fabulous Mantel twins … we all know what happened to them.
I’m sure they’re all clinical depressed, with prescription drug abuse and having delusions about “mutant women” with abnormal genitalia.
People. People. Let us set a base. All are equal in the eyes of Muffie Benson-Perella whom reside within 10013.
Okay, continue.
Attention those with panties in a bunch: the wasps QUOTED IN THE ARTICLE are no better than the Noels, for trash talking them to a national publication. Therefore they, like everyone else featured on Dealbreaker, are worthy of ridicule.
To those trying (and failing) to prove a point by making comments about Jews’ noses: you’re doing it wrong.
8===D~~~~
Who cares about this society nonsense when there are more important issues at hand.
Delish, delish article. Couldn’t keep a straight face reading through it.
@39 and 51…not that anyone is paying attention, but Freddie Mercury was actually Zoroastrian (they worship fire) although his family did hail from Iran (like the Parsi in India).
@82…you’re right…but I don’t think it’s regular folks making the comments, I suspect that the blackball information came directly from others who have similarly treated by the Beach Club. Misery loves company.
I’ve heard that the Noel sisters aren’t really all that bad in bed, but if you take them from behind, they neigh instead of moaning or screaming.