We know we aren’t the only ones who enjoy watching the folks at CNBC agonize over their evaporating “performance aligned long-term compensation.” Given where GE stock is headed after the ix-nay on the ividend-day (presently down about 9% 10% after recovering a few percentage points from the low point) we bet it is a volatile day for GE stock options. Whew!
So what are we to make of CNBC breaking news like “GE: Claims that we will be required to raise new near term capital are ‘inaccurate’”? I think we know what we are to make of them, don’t you? Fun!
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Why the long faces
At this point their earpieces must be a direct feed from Immelt himself.
Alas poor Immelt I knew him well….
You can just see Erin’s mascara about to come unglued at her prospects of ever being cash positive on her GE opts.
Whaa–whaaa-whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
CNBC is overstaffed, most of their “on-air talent” sucks.
Did GE produce the silicone in Erin’s new breasts? That would put the “perk” in “perky”
CNBC has been so sanctimonious about the market and the financials for weeks or months. Now that their own stock is getting hit they have suddenly found religion.
Seems like just about last Friday – D-day – that CNBC decided to emphasize the positive aspects of the economy.
I’m a bit amused at watching all of the commentators squirm and try to differentiate GE from every other mess.
When will Mark Haines call for Immelt to resign?
and then there’s this, from EP’s b-school, “Booth School of BALLERZ!”
From: [redacted]
Date: Wed, Mar 4, 2009 at 12:41 AM
Subject: [chicagogsb_tndc] TNDC- SWAGGER LIKE US @ CRESCENDO THIS THURS!!
To: [redacted]
THE WORD OF THE NIGHT BROUGHT TO YOU BY YOUR TNDC ONLINE DICTIONARY
Main Entry: Swagger
Pronunciation: \ˈswa-gər\
Function: Adjective
1. How one presents him or her self to the world. A person’s style-
the way they walk, talk, dress.
2. Swagger is the confidence exuded as a reflection of one’s dress,
shoe game, attitude, and how one handles a situation.
Synonyms: Flexible Curriculum, Nobel Laureate, Thought-Leader, Game-
Changer, CHALLENGES EVERYTHING
Antonyms: Kellogg, HBS, Wharton, Stanford, etc.
Usage in a sentence: Let’s show the world, and the recent admits, the
Booth Swagger this Thursday as TNDC takes over one of Chicago’s
newest, upscale lounges!!!!
Come out with your swagger this Thursday and dress to impress at
Crescendo Lounge in Chicago’s Gold Coast!! Our swagger is so
internationally known and locally respected that Crescendo decided to
open ESPECIALLY for us this week! We plan to pack the venue with
current students and recent admits in town. Let’s take advantage of
this opportunity and show them the BOOTH hospitality and swagger!
THIS IS DEFINITELY AN EXPERIENCE YOU WON’T WANT TO MISS!!! I
mean…how often do we get to have an ENTIRE upscale venue all to
ourselves???!!! A guest DJ will be spinning mash-up, hip-hop, house
and dance music…
As always, NO LINE/NO WAIT/NO COVER. DO NOT forget your government
issued IDs and passports. Please bring your University of Chicago IDs
as well (if you do not have one, make sure you say that you’re there
for the University of Chicago grad school party to get in).
Remember to bring your SWAG (however you define it): NO sneakers,
baggy clothes, athletic wear, work boots.
10PM – 2AM; early arrival strongly suggested as our friends up north
are aware of the event and are rumored to be attending…
Specials for the evening:
$4 domestic beer
$6 lemon drop shots
$7 snow queen vodka
$7 all wine
CLUB CRESCENDO
222 West Ontario Street (@ Wells)
http://www.clubcrescendo.com
In case you needed motivation: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vm8uTjAuTiU
Your TNDC Co-chairs…no one on the corner have swagga like us,
Jan “my swagger is Mick Jagger” [redacted]
Vik “can’t wear skinny jeans cuz my knots don’t fit” [redacted]
Kedda “you can learn how to dress just by checkin my fresh” [redacted]
Sean “I’m Christopher Columbus, y’all just the pilgrims” [redacted]
Stephanie “you can pay for school but you can’t buy class” [redacted]
I LOVE watching these guys sucking on eggs while their deferred comp plans goto zero. You can literally see it on their faces when they show GE stock price. Its heaven on our trading desk
@6
Erin has no such things. If she did, why is she hiding them? That’s expensive stuff.
Bet this is all just a publicity stunt.
@7
What CNBC needs is another GE Capital bailout and Santelli ranting mad about it.
@6 wins. @8 Loses.
Mark Haines is a d-bag. simple
dividends should not be expected!
GE shit the bed. Get out while you can.
@8
That’s sickening.
Sounds like a school named after a douchebag has douchebags for students.
Erin looks like someone just hit the “on” button on the sybian
Looks like Haines stuck something up Burnett’s arse.
@17 – classic!
-BeckyBlumpkinFan
@17 LOL!
Why are CNBC commentators getting paid while GE is plunging? Is GE going to need a taxpayer bailout? I mean, besides availing themselves of the CP and TLGP?
When does Cuomo subpoena the compensation records for CNBC’s on-air talent?
How is Keith Olberman going to react when they ask for gov assistance? Will he question why he get paid $7mil a year?
Ladies, its only a matter of time before we set the maximum wage in this country to some arbitrary number, say, 25x minimum wage or something ridiculous like that
@22 he will be so excited obama will be his boss and he will be part of the team!
I think Mark has slimmed down a little since GE did away with the Krispy Cremes in the dressing room. He’s got a hungry look now…
Erin’s going to be on Bill Maher’s HBO show this Friday.
Should be a hoot!
Santelli was supposed to be on The Daily Show tonight but cancelled.
Bill Maher is a fuckin asshole. Anyone who watches his show should shampoo my crotch.
@27 +1
Tyler Mathison looked like he was 80 and had been sleeping under a bridge when he was on today.
the great thing about GE is that it has everything and they are everywhere! unfortunately, if one part of GE fails, ALL PARTS ARE IN DANGER!!
won’t be surprised if GE lays off more employees.
glad that they are honest about whats going on in GE on CNBC.
release Maria and GE would save themselves millions of dollars.
p.s. – Erin is too beautiful to get a boob job.
p.p.s. – Could someone PLEASE tell CNBC to have official hosts for ‘CNBC Reports’?! Make it a news program recapping everything that happened in the day and for sure have Melissa Lee as the host!! Maybe Donny D. since he’s free too.
p.p.p.s. – ERIN BURNETT IS THE FUTURE OF NBC NEWS!!!