Ahead of next week’s G 20 summit, JPMorgan just sent out the following memo to employees in London, re: not getting maimed.
This is a reminder that the G20 meetings in London during the week of March 30 are expected to be accompanied by organized and impromptu protests. Although they have been planned for April 1 and 2, there may be small scale disruption at any time during the week commencing March 30. We have been advised by police and security to prepare for disruption to transport networks and to take precautions to avoid trouble with protestors. Below are guidelines J.P. Morgan is adopting, though details may vary between individual lines of business.
We would ask staff to be vigilant and report anything they may consider unusual to the GS&I Control Room on the number below.
Transport – April 1 and 2:
* Dress down: Staff are permitted to wear casual clothing — jeans/trainers — commencing March 30
* Avoid briefcases/branded bags/computer cases: Put materials in rucksacks or carrier bags where possible
* Arrive at work early: There is a strong possibility that the transport network will be targeted
* Alternative routes to work: Consider using mainline stations and walking/taking the bus to your office
* Do not drive or cycle: The road network may be disrupted and cars may also be targeted
* Avoid Bank tube station and the surrounding area on Wednesday, April 1, especially between 9.00 a.m and 12.00 p.m., due to protests centred on the Bank of England
* Avoid St. Pauls tube station on Thursday, April 2, due to the planned disruption to the LSE
At the office – April 1 and 2:
* Each office will have only one entrance open
* Ensure you have your JPMC ID card ready: Security will be tight outside the entrances to our buildings to deny protesters access to lobbies
* Stay in your office building: You should avoid leaving your office building where possible — hold meetings via phone
o Spectating: Do not leave the building to ‘see what’s happening’ — this will help the police to focus on the people causing trouble
o Consideration should be given to using staff restaurants or bring in packed lunches to minimise the need to be outside the building
o If protesters do gain access to lobby areas, these will be ‘locked down’ by GS&I and lifts will remain at the ground floor to prevent further access to the building. Staff will be advised and updated of how to handle the situation by regular tannoy messages
Business meetings:
* Check your meeting schedules and inform visitors from outside London of the potential
* Postpone visiting any client buildings this week and rather than have clients visit JP Morgan buildings make use of conference calls or video-conferencing
Business Continuity Plans
* Ensure that you are familiar with your groups business continuity plans
* If your business manager has instructed you to work from home, please test your token for remote access by close of business Friday, March 27, to ensure that your system is working properly — http://securidtest.jpmorganchase.com/
If you are unsure about any of the above information, please speak to your manager.
Too long; didn’t read.
Too sackcloth, didn’t ash
in re @1′s comment-
too lame (tired/old/gay), didn’t laugh
Dutch Madoff….takes CS for $750M ??
http://www.forbes.com/2009/03/25/private-equity-credit-suisse-business-wall-street-credit-suisse.html?feed=rss_popstories
there has to be some pics/facebook of Sons at Euro trash brunch @ MEPA/Merkkato 55 or some other cesspool
Just take down JPM logos and put up like “Greenpeace,” I’m sure the “protesters” wouldn’t know what hit ‘em
“Spectating: Do not leave the building to ‘see what’s happening’ — this will help the police to focus on the people causing trouble”
awesome
Christ, that’s scary.
“Avoid the tube between 9 and 12 and 12:01-8:59…try not to drive either/walk or fly either. Actually if there’s someway you can just tele-transport yourself to the office, we’d really appreciate it. kthxbye!”
the populists, er I mean, the terrorists have won…
I guess last weekend, a number of protestors had a ‘capture the flag’ session around the city so they could get familiar with streets and potential escape routes. Next week will be fun.
I particularly like the ‘get to work early’ part so you can log extra hours while London burns
@ 8
Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner
just hold the meeting at a dentist’s office
Too Oliver; Didn’t Twist
I miss working for the big banks, May day riots about 8 years back, watching on from behind the glass as a young lady leant back against the windows of the entrance to ubs and relieved herself.
I might go undercover just for laughs.
@bess – great pic. kinda funny how everyone looks evil except for homer.
Already saw the movie. Plot line is similiar to 28 days later.
“* Avoid St. Pauls tube station on Thursday, April 2, due to the planned disruption to the LSE ”
The London School of Economics?
Around (0:20)
http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=9B2EA88568E6823D&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&v=IX_d_vMKswE
@10 I’m thinking of a good Restoration-era historical drama– royal courtiers watching from Greenwich as London burns, Pepys writing his diary, &c.
What the hell is going on at Aldwych Poly that you need to avoid St. Pauls? I hate the lefty student groups at LSE…
@8 @11 whether its protesting or celebrating victory the result is the same, flipped cars on fire
what is G20, like a soccer tournament?
And April Fool’s Day shall ne’er go by from this day until the ending of the world but we in it shall be remembered. We few, we happy few, we band of brothers and sisters, For he today who sheds his blood with me against the hooligans shall be my brother, Be he ne’er so vile, this day shall make him of the House of Morgan, and gentlemen in England who worked from home shall think themselves acursed they were not here, and hold their bonuses unvested whilst any speaks, that fought with us upon April Fool’s day!
just put up a couple of employment office signs, that should clear them out.
Wankers
This is how you react to these clowns:
“We bit off more than we could chew. They were just Cockney barrow boy spivs. Total thugs,” one protester said, rubbing his bruised skull. “I’ve never seen anyone less amenable to listening to our point of view.”
Another said: “I took on a Texan Swat team at Esso last year and they were angels compared with this lot.” Behind him, on the balcony of the pub opposite the IPE, a bleary-eyed trader, pint in hand, yelled: “Sod off, Swampy.”
“The violence was instant,” Jon Beresford, 39, an electrical engineer from Nottingham, said.
“They grabbed us and started kicking and punching. Then when we were on the floor they tried to push huge filing cabinets on top of us to crush us.”
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article515384.ece
@ 23 – Excellent! Makes me proud of my limey heritage.
@ 23 That article is amazing.
Sidebar: I am totally incorporating SOD OFF SWAMPY! into my daily vernacular.
23 killed it.
@23 – He didn’t just kill it, he crushed it with a huge filing cabinet.
@26 – 23 didn’t just kill it – he crushed it with a huge filing cabinet!
I’m an American, what’s a swampy?
“I’m just here to kick a little ass and trade some oil, and we’re almost out of oil.”
LSE is the London stock exchange
@30 – The feeling is definitely there. It’s a new morning in America… fresh, vital. The old cynicism is gone. We have faith in our leaders. We’re optimistic as to what becomes of it all. It really boils down to our ability to accept. We don’t need pessimism. There are no limits.
@29 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swampy
I remember him on the quiz show mentioned, he was borderline retard.
fuck. 23 wins.
@31 I’m embarassed, but not too much since I haven’t slept in a while.
I can’t believe that a few dredded, unwashed, job swerving, lentil eating mofo’s can disrupt the London underground any more than the DLT already do on a daily basis. Anyway, historically they go for easy targets like maccy-d’s as the security guards in investment banks are bored dealing with pencil necks losing laptops and could do with a decent rumble.