• 02 Mar 2009 at 1:47 PM

Ken Lewis To Be Government Employee For Life

By Bess Levin

The Boone’s is flowing early this morning in Charlotte, and you know what that means– drunk dial time! Ken Lewis apparently got the Financial Times on the horn and had a few things to say, in (most likely) rambling incoherent slurs cleaned up for print. A. Though Merrill is a star, and that deal was a “thing of beauty,” it was a “tactical mistake” to request $20 billion of gov money to help out on the acquisition, cause it put BAC “in the same category as Citigroup” and nobody wants that, am I right? 2. In retrospect, he should’ve only asked for $10 billion but an “abundance of caution” led him to go that extra mile and D. You’re going to have drag his dead lifeless body out of the place, because brother has declared that despite calls for his resignation, peacing in BofA’s time of need is not something he’s considered “for one second” and he’s not going anywhere ’til the TARP money is repaid. “It would be very easy to disappear into the sunset,” Lewis said before falling off his desk chair. “But we have to slug through this.”

Comments (11)

  1. 1
    Posted by guest | March 2, 2009 at 1:55 PM

    Ken is out getting a rub and a tug. How YOU doing?

  2. 2
    Posted by guest | March 2, 2009 at 1:57 PM

    Open bar tonight…Ken, umm, I mean the governemtn is footing the bill…

  3. 3
    Posted by guest | March 2, 2009 at 2:05 PM

    kill me now. even boa is shitting on us.

  4. 4
    Posted by guest | March 2, 2009 at 2:08 PM

    I’m designing little lightning bolts in my beard when I shave in the morning and I really, really want to get a Men’s Wearhouse suit after those neat flash ads.

  5. 5
    Posted by guest | March 2, 2009 at 2:16 PM

    Ken: I don’t want to buy Merrill anymore! But Paulson is making me! I’ll do it for $20 billion!
    FT: Ken Lewis drank
    Ken: I don’t want $20 billion! Maybe just $10 billion! I’m just being conservative! Because I love taking risks!
    FT: Ken Lewis was a salesman. Ken Lewis drank.
    Ken: But Merrill is my star! Countrywide is my star! We are in great shape! But I’m staying because I love a fight!
    FT: Ken Lewis can’t give up drinking. Ken Lewis drank for the government.

  6. 6
    Posted by guest | March 2, 2009 at 2:18 PM

    A, 2, and D…classic!

  7. 7
    Posted by guest | March 2, 2009 at 3:41 PM

    ummmm. Why doesn’t he just give it back. No harm no foul. This guy is the biggest liar to have ever been a public figure of any sort. He is amazing. It is hard for me to understand why it is taking so long for the FED to remove him. He is making a mockery of the system. Now he is shitting on another Bank. Ok C has its problems but Vikram inherited his issues. Kenny boy, the lying sack of drunken shit created all of his problems. He took the strongest balancesheet in America and crippled it to create his thing of beauty. The only good news is that cuomo is not going to relent. He smells a RAT and is going to go after him with a vengeance. Appropriately so!!!!!!

  8. 8
    Posted by guest | March 2, 2009 at 4:40 PM

    If they didn’t / don’t need the $20B… GIVE IT BACK! It’s a win-win for everyone. All of a sudden BAC looks better financially if they can prove they don’t need it. It gives the impression that the acquisition of ML is going well. Less taxpayer dollars involved. Isn’t this a no-brainer, Ken!???

  9. 9
    Posted by guest | March 2, 2009 at 8:35 PM

    jack bauer is going to make ken lewis do the chicken

  10. 10
    Posted by guest | March 2, 2009 at 11:34 PM

    By buying Merrill, Lewis turned what was the Rock of Gibralter in to a petrefied turd.

  11. 11
    Posted by guest | March 3, 2009 at 9:16 AM

    Lewis is just another glorified Charlotte country banker who is in way, way over his skis

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