Of course, that Maxine Waters is totally batshit fucking crazy is not news. That Maxine Waters somehow managed not to appear totally batshit fucking crazy, that, dear friends, is news. We, therefore, report to you today our unadulterated astonishment (and palpable disappointment) that Maxine Waters somehow managed not to appear totally batshit fucking crazy. In fact, her demeanor, once dominated by the lines and curves of the raving mad conspiracy theorist who lectures into empty radio waves on my local community access channel while wearing aluminum foil and polarized sunglasses in his faux-wood paneled basement, had today moderated to such an extent that, during her discussion, actual boredom began to threaten what had once been our keen anticipation. Hopes raised by the introduction of the topic of Credit Default Swaps were quickly dashed when Waters simply asked why they could not be banned, rather than suggesting that “Swaps of the Default be adjudicated by the CEO of the Treasury in her capacity as the international risk taker of note to prevent Gold Sack from selling insurance.”
During markedly rational questioning at today’s Committee hearing, Waters expressed strong signs of empathy, even to the point of physical mirroring of Tim “The Safecracker” Geithner’s manic tumbler opening gestures. Such a dramatic shift in approach and psychological sophistication could only be the result of some dramatic comings to pass. Among the alternatives that seem most likely are:
- Neurological damage due to severe blunt-force head trauma
- The sudden introduction of a high-dose course of anti-psychotic medication
- The clandestine substitution of an imposer (actor/robot)
- Aggressive religious deprogramming in conjunction with electro-convulsive therapy
After completing extensive research, we believe that the photographic evidence strongly supports alternative #2 listed above. (Thorazine seems the most likely candidate).
Oh, apparently there were some other people at the hearing too.
total let down. usually is the high point.
total let down. usually is the high point.
bottom picture has comment of the week potential..
this is the best dealbreaker post ive ever read
The severe drop in the stock market has caused serious stress to the American Taxpayer.
Why can we not ban the stock market ?
“Swaps of the Default be adjudicated by the CEO of the Treasury in her capacity as the international risk taker of note to prevent Gold Sack from selling insurance.”
Now THAT is some funny shit.
“Swaps of the Default be adjudicated by the CEO of the Treasury in her capacity as the international risk taker of note to prevent Gold Sack from selling insurance.”
Now THAT is some funny shit.
Drudge says Congress woman Bachman is introducing a bill to ban global currency….
please speak into the mic…
she’s the Barry Ritholtz of congress
full of hot air and usually off point
she’s the Barry Ritholtz of congress
full of hot air and usually off point
” Bachmann bill would ban global currency
@ 1:31 pm by Eric Zimmermann
Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) has introduced legislation that would “bar the dollar from being replace by any foreign currency.” A statement from Bachmann’s website:
“Yesterday, during a Financial Services Committee hearing, I asked Secretary Geithner if he would denounce efforts to move towards a global currency and he answered unequivocally that he would,” said Bachmann. “And President Obama gave the nation the same assurances. But just a day later, Secretary Geithner has left the option on the table. I want to know which it is. The American people deserve to know.”
http://briefingroom.thehill.com/2009/03/26/bachmann-bill-would-ban-global-currency/
Thorazine
Stelazine
chaser
Pretty good load of pearls for that skinny #2 pencil. Then again I’m sure Maxine can suck a golfball through a hose.
This is like going to see “Rochelle, Rochelle” the musical and instead of finding Bette Midler in the lead role of Rochelle, you find her stand in – Gennice Grant!
I love you, EP. I was totally thinking the EXACT same thing.
@15 — Yeah, it’s EXACTLY like that. Keep your silly gay Broadway musical metaphors to yourself. Now shut the F up and finish that chart I asked you to type.
@17 never saw an episode of Seinfeld in his life. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
@9/10:
Don’t be dissin’ Barry.
you’re an idiot@17.
@17 never saw an episode of Seinfeld in his life. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
am i the only person that thinks she looks like Rick James in drag
@16- yeah, you were definitely the only 2 people on earth to have thought this…/heavy sarcasm
@17: So you work in your “firm’s” diversity office? I mean, because 15 is obviously a racist.
@23,
close your browser, unplug your computer.. you’re a dolt
Coaching. The word you are looking for is “coaching”.
This Maxine acting half assed normal thing has me a bit worried. Perhaps we’re gonna make it after all.
Geithner was pretty clearly holding in laughter during Maxines Q&A.
I still lover her…I want to spread mayon all over her luscious smooth skin and spank her with a loaf of white bread!
We need to create a drinking game for Maxine or maybe a drink mixed with a bunch of liquor that doesn’t go together, effs you up, makes your head hurt, must induce vomit and oh yeah be a dark brown color.
Why is Tyler Perry asking the questions in congress today?
‘Madea goes to Congress’ opening August 2009 in black owned theaters only
Another possible explanation: one of her aides informed her that, in light of her recent performances, in particular the other day re the GS conspiracy, she has become the poster girl for congressional ineptitude. Actually, I take that back – I’m giving her too much credit.
Maybe the CIA secretly smuggled and planted brain cells in Los Angeles this time….
Dude that is definitely not Maxine Waters, its Eddie Murphy in costume, duh, option # 3
Also, that statement about the “Swaps of the Default” came oh-so-close to inducing the infamous and dreaded “coffee snarf.”
Thank you, EP.
Concurring with Analy_yst, it’s obviously #3 and now we know that EP is part of the conspiracy since he said it’s #2. I ask you EP, who is ~your~ CEO?
this really is some funny shiz….I really enjoy “the elven safecracker” I love it… and @ 1-36, eff off, losers!
that is seriously one of the funniest commentaries i have read in months. thanks!
Busey v. Waters…
Unrelated: My professor looks a lot like Bernie Madoff
http://assets.nydailynews.com/img/2008/12/12/amd_madoff.jpg
https://guinness.cs.stevens-tech.edu/~lbernste/
https://guinness.cs.stevens-tech.edu/~lbernste/images/Prof%20larry.jpg
She’s hottt with three Ts.
dat ho iz whacked. she be suffering from a paralysis of analysis
–al green (i’s the congressman, not the soul singer)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MGT_cSi7Rs&feature=related
THE TRUTH
THIS IS THE BEST PHOTO Dealbreaker ever have.