JP Morgan Turns A Buck In 2008 (Bloomberg)
As I'm pretty sure banks making a profit is soon to be banned by Congress, I'm of the opinion is this reason enough for the entire street to celebrate. The Morgan girls (led by Zames of LTCM) managed to squeeze $5B out of its trading desk; speculation and rumors about, I'm sure the downside didn't hurt - Morgan is now one of the few strong names on the street.
"The JPMorgan trading desk, led by the 38-year-old Matt Zames, who previously worked at hedge fund Long-Term Capital Management LP, may have benefited as the collapse of Lehman Brothers Holdings Inc. and JPMorgan's takeover of Bear Stearns Cos. left companies and hedge funds with fewer trading partners in the private derivatives markets. JPMorgan emerged "unscathed by the disasters" on Wall Street and positioned to capture more revenue as trading volumes grew, said Craig Pirrong, a finance professor at the University of Houston."
Madoff's Wife Ruth Says Her $62 Million 'Unrelated' to Fraud (Bloomberg)
"Ruth Madoff said she owns a Manhattan apartment, $45 million in bonds and $17 million in cash that are "unrelated" to an alleged Ponzi scheme by her husband, Bernard Madoff.
U.S. District Judge Louis Stanton, who is presiding over a lawsuit against Madoff by the Securities and Exchange Commission, filed an order yesterday modifying terms of an asset freeze on Bernard Madoff's property. As part of his order, he cited a claim by Ruth Madoff that some of her assets are separate from his.
Madoff's lawyers claim "only Ruth Madoff has a beneficial ownership" to a Manhattan apartment, about $45 million in municipal bonds on deposit at Cohmad Securities Corp., and approximately $17 million in cash in another account, Stanton said. Ruth Madoff says these assets are "unrelated" to the alleged fraud, Stanton wrote, citing her husband's lawyer. "
Tax Dodgers Make Axis Of Evil (Reuters)
"The Levin bill would ban patenting of tax avoidance plans, target dozens of offshore "secrecy jurisdictions" for attention, and put a greater burden on taxpayers to show that their tax arrangements are legitimate.
"Offshore tax haven and tax shelter abuses are undermining the integrity of our tax system," said Levin, of Michigan, in a statement. "We cannot tolerate $100 billion in offshore tax abuses burning a hole through our budget each year.""
[...]
"Three provisions have been added since last year to the Levin bill. One would classify U.S.-controlled foreign corporations as domestic for income tax purposes. Another would close an offshore tax dividend loophole that lets people dodge payment of U.S. taxes on U.S. stock dividends.
The third provision would expand tax reporting requirements for passive foreign investment corporations."
Bad Bank Plan Less Vague (WSJ)
There's more chatter about the Bad Bank plan; it looks like they still want private investment to lead the way (which isn't going to happen if it even smells like it could run the risk of opening whatever firm steps in to manage the assets to congressional nut-slapping), with the government providing the majority of the back-end funding. Outside of Congress shitting in their own sandbox, there are a couple of other problems with this, mostly political, which have led to consumer sentiment going into the tank. Long/short of it, the only way private capital gets into this is if you make the payout potential so huge they can't reasonably turn it down.
Citi Trying To Create Non-Core Partnerships (Reuters)
"Citigroup is looking to strike those types of partnerships with non-core assets like CitiFinancial, CitiMortgage, Primerica, Japanese brokerage Nikko Cordial and Citi's private-label credit card business, the paper said."
You really have to wonder who in the fuck is going to step up and buy Primerica; I would sooner buy herpes.






Posted by cantdrive55 , Mar 03, 2009 8:16AM
perhaps mr. levin should start his new found zeal for enforcement with members of the current administration's cabinet???
Posted by guest , Mar 03, 2009 8:47AM
Is that a pic of the JP Morgan guy with his mom?
Posted by merkin capital partners , Mar 03, 2009 8:48AM
why is clark kent's awkward robot brother cnbc?
Also Rep. Schwartz, what's on your face? Is that a disguise?
Posted by guest , Mar 03, 2009 8:49AM
That must be Botox in RUth's glass: her forehead looks like she just got Zamboni'd.
Posted by guest , Mar 03, 2009 8:49AM
I guess when you are the last solvent bank on the street... customers will pay over the odds to trade with you...
Posted by guest , Mar 03, 2009 8:51AM
how soon until we see Andy and Mark Madoff working in the hardware and gardening aisles at your local Home Depot.....
Posted by guest , Mar 03, 2009 8:52AM
CNBC interviewed Rep. Hensarling (R) from Texas just now. Hensarling talked like the offspring of Zell Miller and Karl Lugummer of Shack, Idaho. High pitched squealing that seemed bound to result in maniacal spittle laced screaming and hand-waving punctuated by bulgine eyes and engorged neck veins.
Hilarious!
Posted by guest , Mar 03, 2009 8:54AM
Cashin just stated something like "post hoc, procto hoc" in Latin! WTF!! Does that translate as "hock your fence post and hock your ass"?
Posted by guest , Mar 03, 2009 8:59AM
What a fine mess this thing is. All the working women are watching to see if she gets to keep her assets. As so many of them have their assets apart from hubby's assets. That little trick of putting everything in the wife's name, I guess we are going to see if it works.
Posted by William Richards , Mar 03, 2009 9:05AM
@8
Post hoc ergo propter hoc?
After therefore because of it?
Posted by guest , Mar 03, 2009 9:06AM
@2 - Did you just wake up from a coma? That's the ponzi queen and her clueless offspring.
Posted by guest , Mar 03, 2009 9:08AM
That was so kewl how he threw that latin in but he mumbled it and you didn't know it was coming so it was hard to pick up. Whatever brothers educated Art are probably beaming with pride, after all these years he still remembers his Latin!
Posted by Ben_H , Mar 03, 2009 9:10AM
Cracking down on PFICs and dividend swaps? Another kick in the head for hedge funds and their investors.
Posted by MarshallStack , Mar 03, 2009 9:11AM
@12 - had to be Xaverian brothers - Jesuists would never let him get away with mumbling.
At least not without a jolly good rogering.
Or in the original Latin "Bad banks my ass."
Posted by guest , Mar 03, 2009 9:19AM
Ruth was just the bookkeeper.
Posted by guest , Mar 03, 2009 9:22AM
ALL of Ruth Madoff's assets are fruit of the poison ponzi.
The Guy from Delaware
Posted by guest , Mar 03, 2009 9:22AM
Ruth got compensated handsomely for being a book keeper.
Posted by guest , Mar 03, 2009 9:27AM
If there's one thing the Brits know about is a good Rogering. Buggery and crossdressing seem to be England's favorite pastime.
Posted by guest , Mar 03, 2009 9:33AM
Levin is on to something here.
Deeming CFCs in tax havens to be US residents will cause half of the US Fortune 500 companies to receive additional tax assessments for an amount big enough to cover the whole TARP program. Don't know what I am talking about? Google ABP23, deferral and reverse hybrids and do some reverse engineering, you got time enough anyway.
Fortunately there are none tax haven jurisdictions that are just a bit more expensive to maintain but otherwise work just as well for these purposes. Go Luxembourg, go.
Posted by guest , Mar 03, 2009 9:37AM
Good bookkeepers are hard to find, so you pay them well.
Posted by guest , Mar 03, 2009 9:37AM
If you look closely enough you can see that Ruth Botox has her hand in her son's pants. Incest and Ponzi schemes - birds of a feather!
Posted by guest , Mar 03, 2009 9:52AM
Surely the onus is on her to prove that she earned this money honestly in some way that is completely unconnected with her husband's fraudulent business interests. if she can't, then it HAS to be related and should also be sequestered.
Posted by guest , Mar 03, 2009 9:52AM
What's with Mark Haines talking about eating a sick hamster?
What a mutant.
--CS
Posted by guest , Mar 03, 2009 10:00AM
Interestingly if they were to get a divorce in NY state all of those assets would be considered community property. Hard to see why in fraud recovery litigation it would be any different.
Posted by guest , Mar 03, 2009 10:10AM
Per the two guys on CNBC now: "What's the matter with you people, why aren't we seeing the fear that foretells the bottom? Why aren't you capitulating?
Posted by guest , Mar 03, 2009 10:10AM
@ 14 it's Xavier NOT Xavierian.
Huge difference.
Posted by guest , Mar 03, 2009 12:38PM
Ruth is a common crimminal prostitute and her sons are theiving scumbags who should start using ther wives names. The whole family should be sent to real prison not the golf club our favorite ICE queen did her stint at. ATTICA ATTICA...hey Mark make sure you get the pitch down. Its ATTICA ATTICA 1,2,3,4, ATTICA ATTICA 2, 3, 4,.
They are really finatical about that. SHITBAG.