Many of you have been asking that question lately, so thought we’d offer some clues. Right here baby:
The Foxy Lady wants to be sure that its three locations are fully staffed and prepared to meet their customers’ demands….so the Providence, Rhode Island, strip club will be holding a job fair to fill 30 positions — bartenders, waitresses, masseuses and strippers — according to club manager Bob Travisono.
“We are looking to find a diamond in the rough,” Travisono told CNN.
Based on phone inquiries, Travisono said he’s expecting a large crowd Saturday for the job fair.
So many people in Rhode Island have been hit hard by the economy that we wanted to do our part,” he said, adding that he couldn’t think of a better place than the Foxy Lady to find that ideal job.
Plus, the government won’t have a say over your compensation! Or just go work for SAC. Same diff/no diff.
Strip club fair offers solution to skimpy job market [CNN]
Ok manager boy. If you gave your Scroll and Key buddies a wink and a nod so they could sneak their redemptions out before the freezes, well, you are in a world of hurt and some people are going to want to talk to you. Hell, with the present mood of the public, you may well get yourself 20 years.
A surge in redemption suspensions and liquidations in the past year has created “particular concern as to whether hedge- fund advisers may be favoring their own interests above others,” Walter said today in prepared testimony to the House Financial Services Committee. “Principals, employees or favored investors of the hedge-fund adviser may have received ‘preferential redemptions’ from the fund at issue.”
SEC Hunts for ‘Preferential’ Hedge-Fund Redemptions [Bloomberg]
When it was reported yesterday that Citi, laughing in the face of John Thain’s mistakes, was undertaking a $10 million renovation to Vikram Pandit and his lieutenants’ offices, we were skeptical the bank could come up with a reason why the redecorations were necessary and not a waste of (taxpayer) money. This was their first attempt:
Senior executives in our corporate headquarters are moving from two floors to smaller, simpler offices on a single floor…Based on estimates made when the project was initiated, we expect to generate savings in the next few years well in excess of the project costs.
Kind of a fail. But they came back today with more, and now we’re almost convinced this really will help the Big C in the long run:
The new floor plan features offices with glass walls, designed to create a more open atmosphere. It has common areas to encourage spontaneous meetings of executives, according to people familiar with the matter.
Plus, sacrifices are being made, and those should not go uncounted:
People familiar with the company’s plans said that certain design elements have been nixed since the initial planning phase, including a Zen garden.
Vikram Pandit Will Have To Get His Zen Garden Elsewhere [Cityfile]
Citi Defends A Redesign, Plans Reverse Stock Split [WSJ]
“Listen people. I don’t want to see anymore nonsense over crazy bonuses. I want you people going over compensation with a fine tooth comb. If Suzie Whatsherface in HR is giving out Girl Bears for the employees of the month, I want to know what the list price on those is. If there is a training video being shown for free during “Sensitivity Week,” I want to know what the production cost on that film was and why employees aren’t buying admission tickets. If there is some sort of parking validation scheme, I want to know the discount rate. C’mon, people. Get it together.”
Fed Chief Calls for Scrutiny of Financial Pay [The New York Times]
From the mailbag: “Deep cuts today in the main Singapore office across one of Asia’s big houses. All divisions– Dealing, Equities, Fixed Income. Decimation of the Hong Kong office including the whole Macro investment team.”
We’re told that JPMorgan, perhaps anticipating the next bill out of Congress, just took away 401(k) matching, at least in asset management, though presumably firmwide.
Update: confirmed, across the board.
Tyler Durden over at Zero Hedge has an interesting take on Goldman’s AIG hedging:
Purchasing $10 billion in CDS (roughly in line with what Viniar claims happened) at a hypothetical average price of 25 bps (and realistically much less than that) and rolling that would imply that at today’s AIG 5 yr CDS price of 1,942 bps, the company made roughly $4.7 billion in profit from shorting AIG alone! This would more than make up for the $2.5 billion collateral shortfall (out of $4.4 billion total) GS claims AIG had with Goldman Sachs… If AIG had filed for bankruptcy, and assuming Lehman is any indication, the P&L would have likely hit $6+ billion.
Preliminary Goldman Call Observations [Zerohedge]
Obama’s said, several times at this point, that Tim Geithner isn’t getting fired, and who knows if SheBair even wants the job, but, supposedly, the FDIC chief “has started to gain support [for the post], even from those who once considered unseating her,” according to unnamed sources. This would certainly be awk, considering that T. Geith tried to get the old girl fired last year (and by awk, we mean awesome).
Lehman Brothers Holdings Inc. has negotiated the return of thousands of Lehman-logoed knickknacks that were mistakenly transferred to Barclays Plc through the sale of the bankrupt securities firm’s brokerage unit.
Tote bags, umbrellas, stress balls, Tiffany paperweights and other items now stored in closets and warehouses from New York to Chicago will be returned to Lehman and sold to pay creditors, according to a court filing yesterday. Lehman filed the largest bankruptcy in U.S. history in September and has about $200 billion in unsecured liabilities left to pay, Chief Executive Officer Bryan Marsal said Jan. 28.
[...]
Items in storage include: 1,630 green canvas duffle bags with Lehman ribbon, 353 green compact golf umbrellas, 75 Waterford Marquis Treviso crystal clocks, 682 white Lehman coffee mugs, 130 Swiss Army pens, an English beechwood-lined sterling silver box from 1902, 200 Lehman conference pens, 12 pairs of Links of London cufflinks, 24 Screwpull wine openers inscribed “LB,’ 24 Titleist PRO VI golf balls inscribed “LB,” 30 girl Teddy Bears, 18 large, ivory womens’ F&G stretch snap shirts and one Tiffany shooting star.
Barclays Agrees to Return Lehman-Logoed Knickknacks for Sale [Bloomberg]
Like a bloody common criminal. The Journal reports that “a federal appeals court ruled that convicted financier Bernard Madoff must remain in prison until his sentencing in June.”
So, we’re listening to the conference call Goldman is holding with journalists right now in order “to clarify Goldman’s relationship with AIG,” led by CFO David Viniar. The whole thing was getting fairly boring until this little bit of hilarity, courtesy of the British sense of humour.*
Andrew Clark, the Guardian: Do you accept that it was your collateral calls last year that put AIG over the edge, and do you feel guilty about that?
David Viniar: Ummm..uhh..we didn’t do anything wrong. All we did was call for the collateral that was due to us under the contracts. There’s no guilt whatsoever.
Andrew Clark, the Guardian: Do you accept that it was your collateral calls as their biggest counterparty that pushed them over the edge?
David Viniar: I don’t know that we were their biggest counterparty…we knew we were one of the big ones. All we did was call for the collateral that was due to us.
Andrew Clark, the Guardian: Now with 20/20 hindsight, has their been any soul searching at Goldman Sachs for having done a large amount of damage?
David Viniar: That’s a very broad and difficult question to answer. We didn’t come out unscathed ourselves…you always wish you had more things that went right and things that didn’t go wrong.
*Though we get the impression he was serious in his line of questioning.
