Archive for March 2009

  • 30 Mar 2009 at 3:15 PM

Housing Crisis Ad Libs

City officials and housing advocates here and in cities as varied as Buffalo, Kansas City, Mo., and Jacksonville, Fla., say they are seeing an unsettling development: [Banks / Borrowers] are quietly declining to [take / surrender] possession of properties at the end of the foreclosure process, most often because the cost of the ordeal — from legal fees to maintenance — exceeds the diminishing value of the real estate.
The so-called [bank / borrower] [walkaways / holdouts] rarely mean relief for the [property owners / banks], caught unaware months after the fact, and often mean additional financial burdens and bureaucratic headaches. Technically, they [still owe / are owed] on the mortgage, but as a practicality, rarely would a mortgage holder receive any more payments on the loan. The way mortgages are bundled and resold, it can be enormously time-consuming just trying to determine what company holds the loan on a property thought to be in foreclosure.
[...]
“It is what some of us think is the next wave of the crisis,” said Kermit Lind, a clinical professor at the Cleveland-Marshall College of Law and an expert on foreclosure law.

Banks Starting to Walk Away on Foreclosures [The New York Times]

Wow. That whole “Bankruptcy one option of many” thing lasted about, what, three whole hours?
Updates to come. The situation is fluid.

If you thought your financial services counterparts across the pond were a bunch of pussies who couldn’t hold their own in fight, you thought wrong. Although JPMorgan London et al have sent out memos telling employees to dress down, lest their unofficial uniforms give them away, and to essentially hide under the covers and not come out til the G20 is over (and what is expected to be angry mobs of demonstrators looking for banker blood subside), not everyone is quaking in their boots.
In fact, some, like Graham Williams, sound like they’re looking for a fight and you know what? We dig it. The 66 year old insurance company director told Bloomberg that, contrary to popular belief, “We’re not all pansies.” Think he’s bluffing? Think again! “Most us have played rugby or boxed,” said Williams. “If any of those guys do get violent against us individually because we’re wearing a suit, we will take action.” Also, lay your fears to rest that W won’t have an octogenarian brother, equally attached to his dress pants, watching his back.

Alan Cornelius, 81, who was wearing a red tie and blue- striped shirt, vowed campaigners wouldn’t make him change the sartorial habit of a lifetime in a city where Savile Row tailors hand stitch bespoke suits for princes and financial royalty.

  • 30 Mar 2009 at 12:17 PM

Stripper’s Story Sorta Scam

Picture 1007.pngBy now you’ve read the article that ran in yesterday’s Post about the “scores” of laid off female professionals in town who’ve taken up work as working girls. Such as Randi Newton, seen at left, a former financial analyst at Morgan Stanley who got canned and decided to climb up on the pole to make a few shekels (“A few nights after I got laid off, I went with friends to a strip club to get drunk and forget my unemployment troubles,” Newton said. “The manager offered me a job as a dancer. I thought it was different. And fun.”)

Continue reading »

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Cuts are said to be going down for Bearpont Morgan Chase’s institutional sales team in San Fransisco, circa now. In related news, a “house cleaning” is said to be occurring at Bank of America as we type.

Should the main feature of the Tickle A Vickle booth,* Vikram Pandit? They all came out of Wednesday lunch date describing the event as a beautiful, life-altering, orgasmic experience, so it’d certainly come as something as a bitch slap for Obama to turn around and fire them, but The Deal is thinking Rick Wagoner’s canning is indication Obama is finished playing Mr. Nice Guy with TARP recipients. Obviously with the shelving of his private Zen garden, Pandit has little reason left to want to keep this gig, but he probably also isn’t looking to get thrown out on his ass. As for Ken Lewis, he’s already sworn we’ll have to drag his dead lifeless body out of the place, so there could be some friction there, as well.
*Like a kissing booth, but with more jolly elfin’ fun.

The situation is fluid.
Obama (In his capacity as the First GM Human Resources Director): Wagoner is moving on to pursue other opportunities.
Obama (In his capacity as the First Managing Director, Investment Banking/Advisory): Chrysler needs a deal with Fiat.

  • 30 Mar 2009 at 10:58 AM

Layoffs Watch ’09: UBS

Thought there weren’t any employees left to layoff at the slightly more tax evade-y Swiss bank in town? Think again! Reuters reports that UBS has plans to cut another 8,000 jobs, possibly (though not definitely) on top of the 5,000 senior and management positions it said would be eliminated two weeks back.

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Obviously we must take into consideration that the Post uses its column inches to go after rivals, including by not limited to Fox Business’s competition at CNBC, and therefor the following may not be true. That being said, we pray to the god of Gasparino it is. As you know, Dylan Ratigan has never tried to hide his desire to be a late night TV host. But we assumed it was, like, a pipe dream, no more likely to come true than Jimmy Cayne passing a drug test, and not something D-Rat actually though possible. Apparently, that may not be the case. According to Page Six, in addition to his producer being “rude and disrespectful,” Ratigan also “bolted [from the network last week] because he was pissed off he didn’t get Conan O’Brien’s slot since he really wants to do a talk show.”

Picture 1003.pngBut it may include a business news reporter best known for whaling mercilessly on the Boflex moments before going on air in order to give his scoops that added air of intensity. That’s right, kemo sabes, there’s a possibility that Charlie Gasparino will be named one of the 100 most influential people of the year, if he plays his cards right (i.e. successfully intimidates you into voting for him via threats of physical harm). Take a moment to let that sink in. Other finalists, who you can endorse this morning in a concerted effort to make the list that much more irrelevant (but way more hilarious!) include: Jim Cramer, Prince Alwaleed bin Talal and Ken Lewis. How KL’s unofficial number 2 at Bank of Amerillwide, Angelo Mozilo, got snubbed, we have no idea. We’re also failing to wrap our minds around Vikram Pandit’s name not being thrown in the hopper, though many of you will be pleased to see his bondage and leather loving nemesis, Meredith Whitney, made the cut, as did Ponzi-boy Madoff. And in what appears to be a (fleeting) moment of lucidity by those compiling the noms, Jamie Dimon, Ben Bernanke and Lloyd Blankfein were tossed in, just for shits. No Paulsons, Chanoses, or Einhornies, though. Let’s not go crazy.
The 2009 TIME 100 Finalists [Time]