“We spent a lot of time…there were CEOs in the room…we were asking questions.”

When we heard this morning that Dylan Ratigan was probably out at CNBC, after a supposed row with a producer over the matter of reading viewer e-mail on-air, which D-Rat did not want to do, as it would threaten to drag Fast Money into low-brow territory, our first thought was, but what will he do without FM and the gang? Down 4 bald domes (+ K. Fine), a garish set, rapid fire cuts of the camera, the general stench of midtown, and the opportunity, on any given day, to tussle with Charlie Gasparino, would D-Rat wander the streets losing his sense of purpose and falling into an emotional hole? Clearly, we were losing mid-morning sleep over the whole thing. But our fears have been put to rest, after stumbling upon this.

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UBS analyst Michael Carrier apparently resigned today, 3 days after taking over Glenn Schorr’s coverage, who peaced earlier this week. Those inside the bank suspect he, too, is headed to Deutsche Bank.

The prez is meeting with Wall Street’s CEOs today, and Tim Geithner is also expected to get a little face time with his old pals, too. But! Apparently in advance of the reunion, Geithner is “in a closed meeting with Senate Banking Committee members,” in Dirksen 538, circa now. What do you think they’re talking about? We’re guessing a list of demands the Congressmen want Li’l Geith to bring back to the CEOs, such as “You’ll work for a dollar a year, taxed at 99.9% and you’ll like it” and “Please don’t forget your campaign donations.” Also: “Tough break on the Zen garden. We weren’t even planning on raising shit on that one, ’cause it sounded spectacular.”

So, as you’re aware, this happened:

“This was a crisis that was fostered and boosted by the irrational behaviour of people who were white and blue-eyed, who before the crisis they looked like they knew everything about economics, but now have demonstrated they know nothing about economics,” President Lula da Silva of Brazil said, mocking the “gods of wisdom” who had had to be bailed out. “The part of humanity that is responsible should be the part that pays for the crisis,” he added.

Which is cool, we’re all for laying blame, ’cause it feels good, but let’s get specific, and compile some data. So far, the following info has been compiled:

Alan Greenspan – Brown eyes
Sandy Weill – Brown eyes
Phil Gramm – Brown eyes
Joe Cassano – Brown eyes
Robert Rubin – Brown eyes
Christopher Cox – Brown eyes
Angelo Mozillo – Brown eyes
John Thain – Brown eyes
Henry Paulson – Hazel eyes
Dick Fuld – Brown eyes
Ken Lewis – Hazel eyes

The rest falls to you. Surely among the Dealbreaker audience there must be at least a handful of people who’ve gazed lovingly into the eyes of Chuck Prince.
President Lula of Brazil blames crisis on ‘white and blue-eyed’ [Times Online]

Thought Allen Stanford was going to go the way of Bernie Madoff? Think again! The cricket lover has denied his biz was a Ponzi scam, and claims that meddling bastard US regulators caused a run on Stanford Financial. Stan’s lawyer, Dick DeGuerin, agrees. “He’s not a swindler,” DeGuerin said yesterday. “This isn’t a Ponzi scheme. He was able to pay back every investor until the regulators came in like storm troopers, caused a panic, and his banks got nationalized in Venezuela and Antigua.”

Does the “so the hedge funds don’t get too rich” thing- the current justification for the idea of wrapping toxic assets up in a few big mutual funds- sound a bit like… I don’t know… bullshit to anyone?

There is political utility in enlisting Main Street investors. It could quell criticism that the government is giving a gift to hedge funds and other Wall Street titans, which helped spawn the financial crisis in the first place and which are now being tapped by Washington to help buy toxic assets.

This assumes lots of facts not presently in evidence. For instance:

• Hedge funds want to participate in the sort of programs that are characterized by the PPIP’s structure. (Not so far as we are hearing).
• That there actually are many “hedge funds” that qualify for programs like this after being screened for the $10 billion in current market value AUM limit.
• That anyone is going to make money waiting praying for these assets to appreciate sufficiently to provide decent annualized returns.

This looks quite a bit more like an opportunity for funds deeply under their high watermarks to extract some management fees from the public. Like the reason California managed to raise anything near (much less over) their $4 billion target. Like we are going door to door asking people to buy war bonds.
Call us cynics.
Fund Firms Look to Offer a Toxic Taste [The Wall Street Journal]

President To Have Finance Party (Bloomberg)
President Obama is inviting roughly the entire banking world to Washington today to get their input on rebuilding the economy and the new PPIP initiative – I think hopes are high that he can come out at the end of the day with the confirmation that some of the major banks will in fact be taking part in this (well, and further, think it’s a good idea).
“”For the economy to recover, for the stimulus to work, Main Street and Wall Street have to work hand in hand,” said Rob Nichols, a former Treasury official and now president of the Financial Services Forum in Washington.”
Barclays Unlikely to Need More Capital (WSJ)
Congrats on that.
Morgan Stanley Recovers Ground In M&A Rankings (Reuters)
“Morgan Stanley ranked first in the closely watched M&A rankings, or league tables, of investment banks in the first quarter, according to preliminary data from Thomson Reuters, reversing its fortunes after it missed out last year’s biggest deal — the $113 billion spin-off of Philip Morris International
JPMorgan Chase & Co (JPM.N) and Citi held onto their second and third spots respectively.”
(Goldman was fourth).
Ackman’s Ongoing Target Struggles (Reuters)
“In a letter dated Thursday and filed with the U.S. Securities & Exchange Commission, Ackman wrote to Target Chairman and Chief Executive and Gregg Steinhafel to say he disagreed with the size of the board.
We “have found no disclosure to the effect that the size of the Target Board has been changed from 13,” he wrote. Ackman noted that although former Chairman Bob Ulrich had recently resigned, the board “does not automatically shrink as a result of a resignation; rather, a vacancy is created.”
Ackman said if the company does not nominate a fifth director to fill a 13-member board, the issue should be jointly submitted for binding arbitration.”
Washington’s Inside Man At AIG (WSJ)
“AIG has paid lawyer James Cole and his firm, Bryan Cave LLP, about $20 million to oversee business practices at the insurer, according to people familiar with the matter. His reports on the company’s progress, periodically delivered to federal regulators since 2005, aren’t public.
Mr. Cole was installed inside AIG as a monitor, or independent consultant, as part of a $126 million settlement struck in November 2004 between AIG and the Justice Department and Securities and Exchange Commission.”
Czech PM Says AC/DC Was Behind “Road To Hell” Comment (Reuters)
Can’t make this shit up:
“Ousted Czech Prime Minister Mirek Topolanek says he was inspired by the rock group AC/DC when he mocked U.S. President Barack Obama’s economic stimulus plans as a “road to hell.”
Topolanek criticized Washington’s anti-crisis spending in a speech to the European Parliament on Wednesday.
“AC/DC played here (in Prague) last week. And their cult song ‘Highway to Hell’ might have led me in that very improvised speech to use the phrase ‘road to hell’,” Topolanek was quoted by daily Lidovy Noviny as saying on Friday.”