• 31 Mar 2009 at 8:55 AM

Retirement Agreeing With Joseph Cassano

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Picture 1014.pngSure, ABC News reports that AIG’s most famous alum is probably going to be brought up on federal fraud charges for his role in kind of bringing the company down. And yeah, when asked for comment on the sitch, he sort of acts like a dick, being all, “I don’t want to talk about it.” But the fact of the matter remains: Cassano, once a regular Jon Lovitz doppelgänger is looking better than ever! He’s definitely lost some lbs, and there just seems to be a certain joie de vivre going on around him. Perhaps it’s the daily bike rides? That’s what we’re thinking. Unfortunately, the new look will probably work against Joe C, once he’s placed in a federal Pound Me In The Ass Prison, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.

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    Comments (23)

    1. 1
      Posted by guest | March 31, 2009 at 9:06 AM

      Arianna Huffington is gutter trash

    2. 2
      Posted by guest | March 31, 2009 at 9:08 AM

      “It is hard for us, and without being flippant, to even see a scenario within any kind of realm of reason that would see us losing $1 in any of those transactions,”
      http://thereformedbroker.com/2009/03/31/joseph-cassano-peekaboo/

    3. 3
      Posted by guest | March 31, 2009 at 9:08 AM

      @1- no one cares. re: cassano, he’d better get some soap on a rope.

    4. 4
      Posted by guest | March 31, 2009 at 9:24 AM

      cassano is going to get worked over good by Biggs and the Sisters in Shawshank

    5. 5
      Posted by guest | March 31, 2009 at 9:32 AM

      It must be the muscle milk.

    6. 6
      Posted by guest | March 31, 2009 at 9:43 AM

      He’s more Paul Giamatti than John Lovitz.

    7. 7
      Posted by guest | March 31, 2009 at 9:46 AM

      @6- no fucking way. http://z.about.com/d/movies/1/0/S/f/8/bench04020625.jpg

    8. 8
      Posted by guest | March 31, 2009 at 9:49 AM

      this guy put the ‘hole’ in a-hole.

    9. 9
      Posted by guest | March 31, 2009 at 9:49 AM

      @7 http://www.hollywoodchicago.com/uploaded_images/shootem4.jpg
      vs.
      http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2009/02/12/article-1143740-037F9694000005DC-899_233x340.jpg

    10. 10
      Posted by guest | March 31, 2009 at 9:50 AM

      @9- cassano looks nothing like giamatti.

    11. 11
      Posted by guest | March 31, 2009 at 9:51 AM

      Cassano looks like Paul Giamatti’s love child with Nicholas Cage.

    12. 12
      Posted by guest | March 31, 2009 at 9:53 AM

      @11- no. he has the same exact nose/chin/neck as lovitz. the only thing he has in common with giamatti is the fat.

    13. 13
      Posted by guest | March 31, 2009 at 9:54 AM

      Traders don’t lose money. It’s Clinton’s fault.

    14. 14
      Posted by guest | March 31, 2009 at 9:56 AM

      @13- not even gonna try?

    15. 15
      Posted by guest | March 31, 2009 at 10:06 AM

      Was trying to figure out what bike he’s riding in the video. For the kind of money he made at AIG, I would think he’s rolling on some serious sh#t, but I can’t make out what it is.

    16. 16
      Posted by guest | March 31, 2009 at 10:08 AM

      @15- you can get a better shot of it in the video, it’s about 30 seconds in.

    17. 17
      Posted by guest | March 31, 2009 at 10:12 AM

      Federal prison is a country club. There are no rapes.

    18. 18
      Posted by guest | March 31, 2009 at 10:14 AM

      Ha! Cassano out thunk you again! He is a pillow biter and and trying to get into shape so that he will attract the the sort of attention you suggest! He’s always a step ahead that Cassano. He knows what you are thinking before you think it.

    19. 19
      Posted by Anal_yst | March 31, 2009 at 10:14 AM

      He looks like a fat Dr. Drew, no doubt!
      http://www.papermag.com/blogs/DrDrew-2.jpg

    20. 20
      Posted by guest | March 31, 2009 at 10:18 AM

      17 – Depends on what federal prison you go to.
      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atlanta_Federal_Penitentiary
      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Penitentiary,_Marion

    21. 21
      Posted by guest | March 31, 2009 at 10:34 AM

      By all accounts, he seems like a dick IRL. I hate that guy.

    22. 22
      Posted by guest | March 31, 2009 at 2:16 PM

      @17- Normally, probably not. But considering Cassano’s reputation among the white-collar criminal crowd, I think they’d make an exception.
      Only difference is when Lovitz… er, Cassano is tossing their salads, they’ll make him use caviar instead of jelly.

    23. 23
      Posted by guest | April 2, 2009 at 1:55 PM

      hey @15, I’m guessing its a Lightspeed judging from the curved seatstays, that’s a pretty sweet ride, in fact, I seem to recall there was (maybe still is) a fund named after Lightspeed, think one of the PMs was big into Triathlons

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