Yep. He’s back. As usual, we listen so you don’t have to.
10:02:
There he is! There he is! Oh no, now his wife bleached his tie accidentally.
Wyden: Well, the Chairman was otherwise occupied (fly fishing), so I’m going to grandstand for a little while. Look, we want some damn good news, so get to it. CNBC’s ratings suck. How do you like that? Let me quote a little Buffett (I’ll avoid the reference to VD). You need to get more people borrowing. We need more debt. Get to it!
Gregg: So is the debt going to just screw us or what?
Beard: I know, let’s talk about the new cool BARFTARF program that we invented the other day. After that, my long, mind numbing recitation of figures like non-core inflation and durable goods orders will defeat your weak Grandstand-Fu! Since I am reading my prepared statement, none of your questions will be answered. Hah!
10:26:
Gregg: How long are we going to be breastfeeding AIG?
Beard: The situation is fluid.
Gregg: Why can’t you tell us who AIG is pouring money to? Who are the counterparties? I want names. We are here for the names.
[crackle] *whisper* “Yes, sir. Yes, sir, I’m right behind him. Yes, it’s loaded. Yes, sir. No names. I understand. Yes, sir.”
Beard: Hey, these people didn’t do anything illegal. So shut it.
[crackle] *whisper* “No, sir. All clear. He held up.”
Gregg: The Fed better come clean. We don’t take crazy risks like AIG up in Oregon, let me tell you.
Graham: How much can we actually borrow?
Beard: Well, 100% of GDP is a bit unhealthy. Let’s not do that.
Graham: What’s a zombie look like, Mr. Chairman?
Beard: Decaying. Missing eyeball. Smells of rot. You know.
Graham: So, is AIG a zombie?
Beard: No.
Graham: If AIG is not a zombie, what is?
Beard: I don’t know…?
Sanders: Hey, who’d ya lend the $2.2 trillion to? Will you tell us?
Beard: No.
Sanders: Do you have to be a big, greedy reckless financial institution to borrow that money?
Beard: Basically.
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Shhh!!! the Beard speaks.
Short the OEX NOW!
~the Muleskinner~
He had his eyebrows done and they finally removed all those little hairs growing on the top of his ears like a forest!!!
meanwhile, in the heads of Congress
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oGdlJWfx1GA
Where is central casting when you need them? The guy to Uncle Ben’s right could easily be cast in a Godfather movie.
what paper is he reading?
I’m a Jefferies analyst, whats a Bernanke?
6 — assume you are fcking joking?
Wow, Uncle Ben is speaking and the market isn’t down!
FT
AIG, “a hedge fund attached to an insurance company”, no, really?
@9 Just wait until the Keebler Elf starts talking…then the market tanks.
Winner winner chicken dinner!
He’s reading the Financial Times. That’s the “Companies & Markets” section.
Its the Village Voice, not the financial times, ass.
It’s an FT concealing a copy of Juggs
The Onion.
“…and the financial products division was the significant source of the problems?”
beard should have just walked out….so many times
I hope Maxine gets to ask a question soon – this is getting boring.
What a powerful beard you have!
@19 fortunately for all involved Maxine is a member of the lowly House, not the Senate, which is where the Beard is today.
Think of it like a short bus full of drooling kids wearing bicycle helmets, versus that guy with downs syndrome that they let bag groceries at the store.
One is clearly more advanced.
who are the regulators of aig fp? where is it domiciled?
You will never understand what it truly means to receive the love and affection of a simian.
Bullshit. He’s reading the Bismarck Tribune’s “Money and Markets” section. That’s where we post the lottery result.
~Olaf Buurgenschlicterouterschiffenscuultz
North Dakota Freezing Press Assn.
It is all London’s fault.
Props to @16…well played sir/madam, well played.
Interesting how Ben didn’t answer the question about tax loopholes instead he turned it around to the tax form and hours spent doing your taxes. (Is that supposed to help all the dems nominated for the cainet who failed to pay taxes? ( “It’s hard work” the form is “hard work”)
Are you guys F’ing blind? He’s clearly checking Page Six to see where Lindsay Lohan was cleaning carpet last night.
Thank God Rush Limbaugh has all the answers. Even the ones written in German are pretty good.
Senator: “can you imagine Citigroup selling for $1.50 a share?”
@30, dilution, dilution, dilution, losses, losses, losses. isn’t $1.5 a premium?
Sssst…. he’s rereading Page Six blind item.He still can’t figure out who’s got new enhanced boobettes among morning female cablers.
it’s london’s fault and we’re bailing out the frogs, krauts and roast beefs!
Doctor: Your wife needs surgery.
Senator: What ? Does that involve using a knife ? Knives are bad ! How dare you.
Since knives are bad …
EXPLAIN WHY IT IS A GOOD THING TO CUT SOMEONE !
Doctors get paid too much. WHY ?
Vermont has the right to know !
@ 33 who’s roast beef? btw, “pannakoeken” for Holland is also acceptable
@35 it’s what the french call the brits.
The One just said to buy stocks for the long run… fucking genius!
Gregg is from NH, not Oregon.